Thread by @akiharubaby

Haruki Birthday thread (AkiHaru) 🎉 ~

Falling in love with Haruki and the desire for him that came with it was the reason why Akihiko was spiraling hard after code 11. There are some pretty hard to ignore insinuations about this in the following chapters, the whole vol 3 & 4, +

+ let me break em down one by one. 👇🏽

We've seen Akihiko casually touching Haruki, especially his hair, from the moment given started, let's not forget that code 2 cover page is them in a very suggestive pose. So what Kizu's intent was with them was pretty clear from the start.

But it was kept vague until code 10. In code 10 we see Akihiko following Haruki like a lost puppy after Mafuyu's guitar string broke. And we got this sexually charged scene between them where we all were probably cheering for them to just 'kiss'.

This was the first time Ugetsu and Haruki were under the same roof so that explains why Akihiko wanted to be so close to Haruki, but more than that it explains why he wanted to feel a bit powerful by teasing Haruki who reciprocated his feelings +

+(because) being around Ugetsu was unnerving and anxiety inducing for him, as is wont to be around one's abuser. 

(Refer to these threads 👇🏽



https://t.co/p85HxZZ56W

https://t.co/Lb2nNHb4Mb

https://t.co/UVZ2TjfWsk)

https://twitter.com/akiharubaby/status/1463285308959592450?t=YhHRhxiy-o5y8EPhejt_eA&s=19

https://twitter.com/akiharubaby/status/1489818302931095559?t=ekxS8PqvcZaWIdp7ONHRFg&s=19

https://twitter.com/akiharubaby/status/1303227186443296768?t=PDZ72G0JIclcHkjbRrVDxg&s=19

https://twitter.com/akiharubaby/status/1427836581117788165?s=19

Anyways… Akihiko was aware of his feelings for Haruki during this time. He couldn't fully recognise it for what it was because of his circumstances but subconsciously he knew. Which was why we got this panel of Haruki looking back and smiling at him with the words "I am in love"

etched from his view point during the first performance (like come on! 😭).

And then we got Yayoi confirming it, that she realised the same thing during this performance too, that Akihiko was indeed in love with Haruki. (which finally prompted her to give up on him)

So this was a vital point in AkiHaru budding romance, Akihiko finally somehow realizing his own feelings for Haruki which was followed by him knowing he can't have him, and probably denying the love he felt for Haruki too, or trying to reduce it to only desire or body +

+ because that's all he knew or came to think himself as.
(We got the daara daara flirting scene after the performance and Akihiko wanting to do Haruki's hair) But the most important scene during the early chapters after code 11 was the scene from code 13 +

+ where Haruki was taking pictures of a sleeping Akihiko and then wishing loudly that he had a girlfriend.
The angle of this panel is very important as the case with given is most of the time. We don't get to see Akihiko at all. We don't know if he was actually asleep or not +

+there's a chance that he was awake, and knew what was going on. It's kept vague on purpose.

NOW, think of this from Akihiko's point of view. Someone who always flirts back when you do, someone who is taking pics of your sleeping face exclaims loudly that they want a girlfriend+

+ insinuating that they are sexually frustrated and your pictures are just their spank bank but they don't want a relationship with you at all.
Combined with how he was treated in his last relationship and generally by most people, how he must had felt. :( +

After this, we got Akihiko hooking up with an unnamed random woman and being caught by Mafuyu in code 15. This woman's hair is long and blond, very closely resembling Haruki's hair. And when he kissed this woman he touched her hair tenderly.

(These are all very subtle choices made on Kizu's part)

Then we got Mafuyu even calling him out on not actually getting mellowed out as Haruki had suggested but only keeping up a front before Haruki. And we got Akihiko smiling painfully at this. Now, this gives us pause.

Akihiko neither accepted nor denied Mafuyu's allegations. It could very well be that he actually really stopped fooling around with women because being around Haruki gave him a sense of stability.

But after the realization that he was in love with Haruki while Haruki actually didn't want to do anything with him he went back to his previous ways and started choosing women who resembled Haruki in a feat to get Haruki out of his system.

(Remember in code 19 Haruki himself said that Akihiko seemed like he was back to his old self, not only Haruki, even Take Chan noticed that too as is suggested in code 18, so it's probable that Akihiko was trying to quench the desire he felt for Haruki by hooking up with +

+ whoever but it wasn't really helping him so he was spiraling pretty hard). 

The next chapter(c16) Ugetsu came back and Akihiko hooked up with him too. And this part is VERY interesting. If we ignore Mafuyu's monologue which is projection on his part, then there's only Ugetsu +

+ talking, smiling, laughing, making jokes, mocking here, Akihiko is eerily silent. Ugetsu made a sexual joke, and Akihiko reacted to it sharply, as if he snapped.
We know from Akihiko's monologue from code 20 that Ugetsu coming back from tour generally meant they were going to +

+ hook up. But this is probably not how it usually happened. It probably needed a bit more coaxing on Ugetsu's part to get a reaction out of Akihiko.
Remember Ugetsu was startled by Akihiko's reaction here. Akihiko was rough with him. He grabbed Ugetsu's face roughly,

(this face grab is important methinks) and went on it almost mechanically. Ugetsu was the one trying to get a reaction out of Akihiko and failing. I think if we contextualize this scene, it's pretty safe to say that Akihiko snapped here and went straight to sex because +

1) He knew what their routine was by this time. He knew what Ugetsu wanted and he didn't want to drag things on, but more importantly, 2) he was sexually frustrated with his desire for Haruki and at the end of his rope, hooking up with long haired blondes didn't work, +

+ so he tried doing it with Ugetsu. because Ugetsu was a male, was available and allegedly Akihiko was in love with him. 

This theory can be further supported by the happenings of the next chapter. Namely, the car scene. This is just the day after the night AkiUge hooked up.

Akihiko went to meet Haruki somehow happily (probably because he thought having sex with Ugetsu would've been enough for him to control himself around Haruki) but then, this happened. He went to grab Haruki's face here, reminiscent of how he grabbed Ugetsu's face the night +

+ before, but didn't in the end. Because he couldn't, firstly he couldn't ruin the friendship he had with Haruki, secondly, sex had become something dirty for him and he couldn't sully Haruki like that. (What prompted this reaction in Akihiko are so different in Ugetsu

and Haruki's case too, Ugetsu bragging that he was so good that would've made Aki hard vs Haruki complaining that he wasn't good enough for anything! But ultimately, Ugetsu's bragging meant nothing, he was just available for Akihiko while for Haruki, it's what Aki said verbally+

+ everyone wanted Haruki, everyone here being Akihiko himself, but I digress) 

So he restrained himself from touching Haruki here, even Haruki noticed the palpable tension inside the car and freaked out and Akihiko didn't know how to control himself anymore around Haruki. +

+ It was getting harder for him. Hooking up with Ugetsu didn't work either so he went back to hooking up with another long haired blonde, looking bored while he was getting a bj and then taking Haruki's call in the middle of it, +

+probably at the end of his rope already and trying to see if Haruki's voice did something for him getting off, which probably happened.
Seeing that, this panel focusing on Akihiko touching this unnamed girl's hair while talking to Haruki, and the girl suddenly moaning,

+ probably hinting that Akihiko finally did get aroused enough after hearing Haruki's voice.

So that kinda did indicate that the gender of his partner or the hair that he was so fascinated with didn't actually matter to him, +

+ he was very specifically yearning for a single person, body and soul, who just happened to be his only real friend, his one comfort person and with whom he couldn't risk his relationship with the most in the entire world. 

He was STRESSING! +

So then he went on a rampage. He went to Ugetsu first because he needed to break something there first. The one source of his torments. And then he went to Haruki's. +

Reminder that the thing that set him off was the word 'girlfriend', the word he probably tormented with since the day Haruki mentioned wanting one.

That word had become triggering for Akihiko. And it triggered something in him alright.

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