Our gardener has just been asked to stop walking around in our garden because he is, and I quote,
"Spoiling the shot" This from a woman who is filming a video segment where she is standing at my gates claiming she is holidaying at her "summer house"
My house !!!
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My 'fishing' email account has landed another one.
"Dear brother in god, I have a large sum of money to distribute to Christian causes around the world, can you be helping me? If yes reply and tell me how you can be a soldier of the god"
I replied.....
"My work here is indeed serving the great god, I do this through my research in using swans as emotional support animals." He was quick to reply,
"Brother, I can help you, would a sum of $1.5 million help your work?"
I wrote back,
"Yes indeed it would, the work here is arduous and not always rewarding, the swans do not always take kindly to living in my houseboat and I fear they pine for the open water. Your money would help me build a permanent facility"
A couple just called by in their camper and asked to park on our land, we had a brief conversation, they seemed ok so I said yes. Before they drove off, the man glanced up and said,
"Lot of Chemtrails today, I wonder if the NWO are spraying barium or thorium" I said,
"What"...
He replied,
"Barium and thorium, it's used for population control. forced sterilization you know, being going on for years, you should read up on it"
I glanced at his wife, she nodded enthusiastically and said,
"Norman knows all about it, he does a lot of reading on the web"....
I tried to be polite,
"That's just vapour from the engines" Norman laughed,
"That's what you are told but the truth is very different, the NWO is behind it all, controlling the media, fooling everyone. One bit of advice, never trust Luxair, they are up to their necks in it"..
Having dinner with some friends, at the next table there is the most incredible crashing bore trying to impress a girl with his knowledge of Milton Friedman economic theories and French wine. We are quietly taking bets on how long she lasts. So far only 15 minutes have passed.
He is pontificating on the UK budget,
"The problem with the poor is they don't understand consumption analysis"
She has that,
"Why the hell did I get dressed up for this date" look on her face.
Jules looks at me, I shrug. It is probably good that Jules (former front row with Castres) does not understand this.
I had somewhat cowardly ducked the question of why their house was decorated with EU flags and bunting. I was saved by our Mayor, a man on considerable French elan,
"This is a new regulation for, how you say, 'ex-pats"
The story continues - how did the Idiot Son make it to the Dordogne, what did the Mayor think of him, how is that dog bite, where are his shoes?
All will be revealed.
Update.
Despite his trials and tribulations at St Pancras the idiot son did make his later train.
He arrived in Paris where he was astonished to discover that the city has more than one train station.
He has to cross Paris, he does not speak French, he has no shoes.
He messaged me:
"Paris has so many stations and the taxi drivers all refuse to speak English. I know they are doing it on purpose. Also no proper London black cabs here, only Citroen cars, not sure I trust them"
Every single person who works for the Mayors office will be there tomorrow plus the Mayor's wife and two sons.
WhatsApp message received,
He's just arrived at St Pancras station, his mother is with him to "see him off". He has my HP sauce..
Email from the father,
"I hope you and xxxxx can get this sorted out. It's so unfair the way we are being treated. France should not do this. We have always done things right there like putting our rubbish out etc. My wife is very upset and does not understand it all."