Thread by @datepsych

There is a body type not really shown here (perhaps closest to number 9) that is regularly featured on erotica novels (selected by women to represent female-authored sexual fantasies).

Women who say they prefer a body like 3 over 9 - why?

And thread on this:

These are some examples from some popular heterosexual female-authored erotic novels:

A few other examples:

We have the gym bro meme - boys like it, girls don’t.

Yet at the same time we have this huge canon of female sexual fantasies where the men are depicted as jacked and lean.

Research on the attractiveness of bodily muscularity often doesn’t use realistic bodies (eg using silhouettes instead of photos) and often doesn’t use men as muscular as those on the covers of these novels.

For example:

x.com/datepsych/stat…

Here are some hypotheses for why so many women will say they prefer a man with a body type like number 3 (someone who isn’t fat, but pretty normal otherwise):

More muscular (up to a point) bodies are actually sexier, but because of this they signal (or are associated with) more short-term mating intentions.

Meanwhile, women on average have strong long-term orientations and some aversity to short-term mating.

These bodies may be associated with lower trust and lower intent to invest in a relationship. They may be associated with an enhanced ability to cheat or lower willingness to commit.

So, “sexy but not desirable as a mate.”

It could also be an “out of my league” effect. Most women don’t have the female equivalent of the novel covers and may simply realize “that is not a match for me.”

Which seems to be more important for women: some past research has found women are less happy and experience more anxiety with a partner who is more attractive than them (while men are simply happier with a partner more attractive than they are).

Reading through female comments on the first image and similar ones in the past, a few were “he would make me feel insecure” through comparisons between one’s own body and the potential mate.

Women may not want to feel body-related pressure or be faced with a comparison.

Being too muscular might signal dominance and aggression, which are both a dual-edged sword in mate selection.

Desirable, but also traits that reflect a potential threat to a woman.

And some research has also found an association with muscularity and perceptions of political conservativism. Perhaps there are many other things associated with it.

So, being jacked might give off a certain impression re: behavior, or have a stereotype associated with it.

These romance novel bodies still may be the sexiest, but are offset by something else that make women say “not for me.”

Which may be why they work well in female-authored sexual fantasies: the fantasy puts some distance and makes them safe.

We have seen the whole “dad bod” trend - lots of women will say this is what they prefer. It’s not necessarily a “lie,” but the preference may not be driven by “the dad bod is the most aesthetically pleasing or sexually attractive body.”

It may be driven by what it signals.

So as a man if you see many women say they prefer number 3, or a “dad bod,” or whatever - does this mean that is what you should aspire to for your own physique?

I would say no. You should still aspire to the physiques of the romance novel covers.

If the cover images (and text descriptions) are really the most sexually desirable bodies, but are offset with negative behavioral associations, you simply need to behave in such a way that you overcome the stereotypes.

Jacked man who isn’t a “dumb bro” and doesn’t behave like a cad? Yeah, he’s gonna do just fine.

An element of intrasexual competition may come into play here, too. We derogate not just more attractive rivals, but we derogate potential mates with higher mate value to “bring them down a notch.”

“Actually the hot guy isn’t attractive at all.”

There is high variation in what women like; preferences can be shaped by a lot of different things. So this isn’t a comprehensive explanation. And there is no single “female desire” that represents what every woman wants.

But I would be very skeptical that the peak sexual fantasy is “man who looks DYEL with a shirt on and has some belly rolls.”