The Road Jess Travelled Profile picture
Oct 4, 2023 11 tweets 2 min read Read on X
So much of men's insults for women are blatant confessions of their own fears. They're terrified of dying alone, of one day learning their transactional relationships resulted in no one truly loving them, so they project this on women. 1/
They're horrified of aging, of becoming irrelevant, powerless, of not obtaining all they believe they're owed & were promised. A friend posted this comment on why he thinks suicide rates are highest among middle age white men. 2/ Image
They fear loneliness and can't fathom creating their own fulfillment & communities, hence the lonely cat lady trope. They cannot conceive of life so peaceful not being defined by proximity to (and ownership of) other people. 3/
They think not being sexually desired is the worst experience bc they either never had to fight to be seen as a person, having value, deserving of respect, or they don't realize women have to fight even harder. So they claim we aren't sexually desirable bc that's their fear. 4/
They attack our fertility because virility is everything to them. It's how they prove their masculinity to other men. They can't imagine not defining themselves by their genders' approval, or that many women are relieved by infertility. 5/
They attack our sexuality and access to sex because they're bitter. They want us to be ashamed because they don't have the options we do, so they hope shame will limit us since they are. 6/
They denigrate our genitals because they're anxious about their own being too small, too odd, too undesirable, or incapable of providing pleasure. They want us as haunted with doubt as they are. 7/
They attack our interests because our joy, free from the constraints of our genders' approval, is unfair. They're insecure about liking what they like so we should be too. 8/
They shame our departure because their dependence on a caretaker and defining their worth in dominance of others leaves them afraid to be alone. Women choosing to be alone rather than settle for them is horrifying. They can't fathom being responsible for their own happiness. 9/
Nearly every insult from a man for a woman is not rooted in women's values but is a neon sign of their own worst fears. It's amusing how they fail to realize this as they blast their deepest insecurities to random women for us to laugh at. 10/
This is more evidence that privileged groups do not understand the inner workings, or humanity, of marginalized people. They have no concept of our actual fears & insecurities. They believe their tools of oppression are our actual soft spots. Amateurs. 11/

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More from @JessPected

Aug 25
Resent how women's responses are viewed as aggressive, hostile, & rude if they're not deferential to men, requiring women to kneecap their statements & coddle men. Particularly since I intentionally work to remove that from my language to counter that conditioning. 🧵
Especially resent how men who think themselves not like those red hat misogynists enforce this too. Words that from a man would simply be viewed as neutral or confident become uncivil when from women. And men will show no curiosity about their biases.
Recently left a FB group over being scolded for a discussion where no parties were rude but I was a woman disagreeing with a man. This also arises when spaces have rules against "hostility" & "hostility" becomes whatever a marginalized person disagrees with.
Read 6 tweets
Jun 4
When people, particularly men, inform me a topic isn't serious, like pockets, there are bigger issues - I know. I am capable of caring about lots of things. I'm also aware of how discrimination is normalized & enforced. The small facilitates the large. 🧵
When I'm informed I shouldn't care about the microaggressions, the inconveniences, the casual misogyny, bc the sexual assaults, domestic violence, & femicide (which they also don't care about) should be my focus, I'm struck by the lack of curiosity about how the latter happens.
The death by a thousand cuts doesn't just refer to personal relationships. It also exists in systemic oppression & transports us to the inevitable destination.
Read 7 tweets
May 8
One of the more obnoxious parts of bear discourse is all the women & men taking time to hold men's hands & explain the point of the hypothetical to alleviate men's self-pity to justify their harassment. The endless coddling & centering men so they wouldn't be sad bois (& abusive)
A hypothetical highlighting women feeling unsafe, the trauma & anxiety we're forced to carry, became about men's feelings. Which is how it always goes when women try to talk about oppression, abuse, or even asking a partner to be a partner. That manipulation is exhausting & evil.
Because it isn't that they don't know. Just as they feigned confusion about Me Too or "boys will boys" or literally every attempt to challenge patriarchy & violence against women/girls, they derail as a personal attack that demands coddling until women shut up.
Read 9 tweets
May 3
Imagine if women were declaring they wouldn't care or do anything if they saw a child being assaulted. They'd even whip out a phone to film it & laugh. They even think kids deserve to be murdered for not being deferential enough. Because we don't owe kids, we'd only protect ours.
There would be death threats.

But men do this regularly while still trying to sell their "protector" nonsense. Because women are expected to be nurturers, mothers, & failure to do so means the woman is an aberration, despite this role being placed upon women, not chosen.
Yet men can make hollow claims of being protectors, weaponize that unearned self-designation to demand submission, while simultaneously declaring they have no obligation to challenge men, & don't. And men will cheer them for sticking it to the props they stand on for hero status.
Read 5 tweets
Apr 26
Not All Men, Real Men, he's gay, he's a boy - all these deflections & derailments are meant to preserve the title of (het) Men as noble, heroic, & strong. It's how men signal they do not care about the issue & will not address it but polishing the shine on their title is priority
Man isn't just a gender to them, it's a station of superiority, a title synonymous with dominance & admiration. Women being hurt by men is an individualized experience but calling out men who harm is a stain on their pristine title, which cannot stand.
It's why these men storm into discussions women are having. They don't care that women are being harmed, they care that their title isn't being protected from impurities. (It's one of the reasons I struggle with the toxic/wholesome masculinity discourse.)
Read 5 tweets
Apr 10
When we talk about men using women/girls' bodies in their power larps to impress other men, the "I'll kill my daughter's boyfriend" is a glaring example. The "protection racket" of patriarchy extends to daughters. This is also rape culture. Image
To be clear, the chance this man would ever hurt a boy/man for harming his daughter is practically nonexistent. More likely he'd blame her. This performance is for men. Hero larps are power fantasies to impress men. Girls are merely props to facilitate them.
He'll also likely spend her childhood socializing her to be "strong" against predators causing her to internalize only weak girls are victims. And teach her to be afraid to ever tell for fear dad will do something to get himself in trouble, which will be her fault, or judge her.
Read 7 tweets

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