The Road Jess Travelled Profile picture
Oct 4, 2023 11 tweets 2 min read Read on X
So much of men's insults for women are blatant confessions of their own fears. They're terrified of dying alone, of one day learning their transactional relationships resulted in no one truly loving them, so they project this on women. 1/
They're horrified of aging, of becoming irrelevant, powerless, of not obtaining all they believe they're owed & were promised. A friend posted this comment on why he thinks suicide rates are highest among middle age white men. 2/ Image
They fear loneliness and can't fathom creating their own fulfillment & communities, hence the lonely cat lady trope. They cannot conceive of life so peaceful not being defined by proximity to (and ownership of) other people. 3/
They think not being sexually desired is the worst experience bc they either never had to fight to be seen as a person, having value, deserving of respect, or they don't realize women have to fight even harder. So they claim we aren't sexually desirable bc that's their fear. 4/
They attack our fertility because virility is everything to them. It's how they prove their masculinity to other men. They can't imagine not defining themselves by their genders' approval, or that many women are relieved by infertility. 5/
They attack our sexuality and access to sex because they're bitter. They want us to be ashamed because they don't have the options we do, so they hope shame will limit us since they are. 6/
They denigrate our genitals because they're anxious about their own being too small, too odd, too undesirable, or incapable of providing pleasure. They want us as haunted with doubt as they are. 7/
They attack our interests because our joy, free from the constraints of our genders' approval, is unfair. They're insecure about liking what they like so we should be too. 8/
They shame our departure because their dependence on a caretaker and defining their worth in dominance of others leaves them afraid to be alone. Women choosing to be alone rather than settle for them is horrifying. They can't fathom being responsible for their own happiness. 9/
Nearly every insult from a man for a woman is not rooted in women's values but is a neon sign of their own worst fears. It's amusing how they fail to realize this as they blast their deepest insecurities to random women for us to laugh at. 10/
This is more evidence that privileged groups do not understand the inner workings, or humanity, of marginalized people. They have no concept of our actual fears & insecurities. They believe their tools of oppression are our actual soft spots. Amateurs. 11/

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More from @JessPected

Jan 13
This Vulture article on Gaiman's history of sexual abuse was interesting, particularly in its focus on his wife. I'll never forget the people who dismissed his victims, even after reading their traumas they dismissed as consensual, acceptable, & regret (or an agenda). (TW) Image
I'm all for holding complicit women accountable & we do need to have a deeper dive into the Ghislaines of the world who pursue & offer vulnerable young women (& girls) to their partners for some sense of power & male approval, but they could not exist w/o the men who consume them
Not only does the article heavily focus on Palmer - which I'm not exactly against - it also feels a bit sympathetic to Gaiman. It spends a lot of time on his background in Scientology & whatever abuses he experienced as a boy & what a sad, awkward lil fella he is now.
Read 18 tweets
Nov 30, 2024
Despite all the manipulative self-pity men denouncing "mean" feminists & justifying worshipping misogynists do, what I've observed of men in feminist spaces who know a statement about men isn't a condemnation of them individually is they feel released of patriarchal pressure.
I've seen it referred to as a box men are put in, & it very much is, & what I've noticed from men commenting in feminist spaces is a relief that they can be the kinds of men patriarchy doesn't allow but they'd rather be.
Frankly do resent a movement for the liberation of women centering men but I do believe we all should feel free to live authentically & w/o pressure to live up to someone else's standards.
Read 7 tweets
Aug 25, 2024
Resent how women's responses are viewed as aggressive, hostile, & rude if they're not deferential to men, requiring women to kneecap their statements & coddle men. Particularly since I intentionally work to remove that from my language to counter that conditioning. 🧵
Especially resent how men who think themselves not like those red hat misogynists enforce this too. Words that from a man would simply be viewed as neutral or confident become uncivil when from women. And men will show no curiosity about their biases.
Recently left a FB group over being scolded for a discussion where no parties were rude but I was a woman disagreeing with a man. This also arises when spaces have rules against "hostility" & "hostility" becomes whatever a marginalized person disagrees with.
Read 6 tweets
Jun 4, 2024
When people, particularly men, inform me a topic isn't serious, like pockets, there are bigger issues - I know. I am capable of caring about lots of things. I'm also aware of how discrimination is normalized & enforced. The small facilitates the large. 🧵
When I'm informed I shouldn't care about the microaggressions, the inconveniences, the casual misogyny, bc the sexual assaults, domestic violence, & femicide (which they also don't care about) should be my focus, I'm struck by the lack of curiosity about how the latter happens.
The death by a thousand cuts doesn't just refer to personal relationships. It also exists in systemic oppression & transports us to the inevitable destination.
Read 7 tweets
May 8, 2024
One of the more obnoxious parts of bear discourse is all the women & men taking time to hold men's hands & explain the point of the hypothetical to alleviate men's self-pity to justify their harassment. The endless coddling & centering men so they wouldn't be sad bois (& abusive)
A hypothetical highlighting women feeling unsafe, the trauma & anxiety we're forced to carry, became about men's feelings. Which is how it always goes when women try to talk about oppression, abuse, or even asking a partner to be a partner. That manipulation is exhausting & evil.
Because it isn't that they don't know. Just as they feigned confusion about Me Too or "boys will boys" or literally every attempt to challenge patriarchy & violence against women/girls, they derail as a personal attack that demands coddling until women shut up.
Read 9 tweets
May 3, 2024
Imagine if women were declaring they wouldn't care or do anything if they saw a child being assaulted. They'd even whip out a phone to film it & laugh. They even think kids deserve to be murdered for not being deferential enough. Because we don't owe kids, we'd only protect ours.
There would be death threats.

But men do this regularly while still trying to sell their "protector" nonsense. Because women are expected to be nurturers, mothers, & failure to do so means the woman is an aberration, despite this role being placed upon women, not chosen.
Yet men can make hollow claims of being protectors, weaponize that unearned self-designation to demand submission, while simultaneously declaring they have no obligation to challenge men, & don't. And men will cheer them for sticking it to the props they stand on for hero status.
Read 5 tweets

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