Thread by @nathanweisser

VEGGIETALES: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

20 years later, Bob the Tomato would go on to become a respectable figure in evangelicism, writing for several well respected publications, even going as far as writing the occasional column for big name newspapers like LA Times. He makes bank.

Junior Asparagus would grow to become disaffected by the institutions and figures that he once trusted, perceiving a leftward drift in people like Bob, and would become edgy and combative. He is constantly on the front lines of all cultural issues, and has 35,000 followers on X.

Larry keeps in touch with both Bob and Junior, and constantly invites them to worship nights at the church he just started going to. He still shops at Mardel and listens to K-Love and honestly isn't aware that controversies are even happening. He gets annoyed with theology talk.

Archibald Asparagus' views have barely evolved at all, and he is very passionate about Israel. His favorite political theorist is Sean Hannity and his favorite theologian is John MacArthur.

Honestly, though, he's just a great guy anyways. Pray for his neck, it's been hurting.

Pa Grape and Ma Grape unfortunately passed away 5 years ago, after being staples of the community. Pa celebrated 20 years of teaching Sunday School 3 years before his passing. Ma was incredibly persistent in helping the young women raise their children, always willing to babysit.

Mr Lunt is a deacon at an independent Baptist Church, and he is very attentive to the physical needs of the church grounds. No one has ever noticed a burnt out light bulb at that church building, and they're not even LEDs. He doesn't trust that new stuff.

Jimmy Gourd bought 420 acres of land in northern Louisiana, and has honestly dropped off the face of the earth, unfortunately. No one's really sure if he's involved in a Christian community where he's at.

Philip and Jean Claude Pea both started families and moved back to Quebec, where they run a ministry serving inner city kids of Montreal, giving them the gospel.

Jerry Gourd became an elder at a Presbyterian Church, and every year he makes the same joke about Santa punching Arius. He's not really that political, but he has very strong opinions about Thomism. No one around him is smart enough to get what he's on about though.

Mr. Nezzer is Anglican. Everyone's confused about his whole thing.

Madame Blueberry got WAY into Greg Locke and is thoroughly convinced that Blackrock and Vanguard are Gog and Magog. She makes Thanksgivings very uncomfortable.

Pray for Scooter. He didn't want his kids to grow up spoiled, so most of his surplus pension has gone to the NRA and National Right to Life, both organizations that he thought would do better with his money. He recently realized he was wrong and is going through some stuff. 🙏