Yo, it’s my last day as a staff writer at @TheOnion. I am grateful for the opportunity that I got to learn so much and work with such talented, smart people. I am not grateful for the dork-ass herb CEO of G/O media @JimSpanfeller. Here’s a thread of headlines I wrote that I love:
Here’s the first one I wrote that I felt got my sensibilities across to the historically Caucasian sensibility of the onion. Note we ran this a few weeks before they got rid of aunt Jemima in real life, and I want credit 
This is my favorite child, because he probably should not exist
Some recent timely headlines you may have seen
Ok now rest of the favs
“Are they all about race?” Nope ☺️
a BAIT and switch get it ??
✝️
I could go on forever because I was lucky enough to do a lot of jokes that I liked but we’ll close on these two:
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