Thread by @RandPaul

It's that time of year again. Happy #Festivus! I've got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it.

As you prepare for holiday time with family and friends, start your celebration with us here today for the #airingofgrievances.

When your job is in Congress, you have a lot of people you can have grievances with. It’s almost too many to think about, so most of the year, I just don’t. NOT TODAY. Today ALL I am going to think about are my grievances. I hope you’ll follow along and maybe air your own.

So get some egg nog. Sit in front of your tree and your decorations, pull that blanket up a little bit and prepare to see some chestnuts roasted.

Everyone thinks I'll start with Dr. Fauci. Well, you’re right. After almost 3 solid years of lying and deception, my one and only wish for Dr. Fauci this Christmas is that he can send this Christmas song to someone he loves very soon. open.spotify.com/track/47zzGSaq…

My main grievances are of course with Congress. But I want to start with someone nice and positive. So I wish my fondest farewell to former Speaker Kevin McCarthy, who has been run out of town for being too much of a swampy establishment critter even for Congressional leadership.

The Gang who voted to vacate the chair also has my Holiday Greetings. I’m sure I’ll be roasting the new speaker by next Christmas but he did something no one else has done in my time here — insisted foreign aid be PAID for, something I’ve always advocated for. So cheers to that.

Ok that’s enough nice. I wanted to make sure @HawleyMO knows that he can’t ban @X if he doesn’t like my tweets today, just in case he was getting any ideas.

@HawleyMO @X Did you see his many failed attempts to ban TikTok? I feel like he’s kinda like the people who try to hide their cigarettes from themselves. It’s not gonna work Senator, we all know you’re watching dance videos all day long. The CCP told us all about it, your secret is out.

@HawleyMO @X Speaking of people who want to act like Chinese Communists, let’s talk about the Presidential race for a minute.

@HawleyMO @X First of all, has anyone told @potus he is running again?  Do we think it matters? I feel like we are all watching some sadistic reality show where the participant doesn’t know he’s in it.

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS .@POTUS does know one thing though - he absolutely will not stop until our border is just a turnstile. A lot of people in the media right now need to learn what an insurrection actually is and stop worrying about a few people running around the hallways in Congress yelling.

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS Speaking of people running around the hallways yelling, has anyone told @VivekGRamaswamy that he is wearing a microphone?

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy My favorite moments in this race though have come when Chris Christie fills the TV screen, and I do mean fills. I’m watching only because I feel like at some point he and Vivek are going to wrestle WWE style and I can’t miss that.

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy That last tweet was specifically for @jackhunter74.

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy @jackhunter74 So when was anyone going to tell me that there was another member of the Cheney family? People complain about the fact that Nikki Haley doesn’t use the name given to her at birth, but I didn’t know she was trying to hide her full neocon pedigree all these years.

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy @jackhunter74 Speaking of birth certificates, who is going to tell President Trump that trying to kick people off the ballot for spurious reasons sometimes comes back to bite you in the rear…

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy @jackhunter74 But anyway, back to the neocons, I am pleased to announce that Congress just left without any additional foreign aid, and I’m sorry to have ruined your war-making for the holidays.

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy @jackhunter74 Foreign aid is among the many things Congress wastes your tax dollars on. But there are a LOT more.

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy @jackhunter74 Somehow these plastic applicants were carelessly approved by the Small Business Administration and sent improper COVID-19 PPP payments.

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy @jackhunter74 If anyone doesn't get that last tweet, your homework assignment for the weekend is to watch this movie. imdb.com/title/tt082948…

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy @jackhunter74 Thank you to @WhiteCoatWaste for bringing this egregious example of government waste to my attention!

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy @jackhunter74 @WhiteCoatWaste It's time to reassess priorities and explore how $5,996,253 currently going to Egypt could be more effectively used. American roads? Bridges? Paying down the national debt? Oh, the possibilities.

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy @jackhunter74 @WhiteCoatWaste Read the 2023 Festivus Waste Report! foxnews.com/politics/rand-…

@HawleyMO @X @POTUS @VivekGRamaswamy @jackhunter74 @WhiteCoatWaste There’s a lot more, and I’ll be back later to tell you more about it! More waste, more grievances, and what I know you’re all waiting for, my full holiday Spotify playlist. All coming up later today!