Rand Paul Profile picture
Dec 23, 2023 19 tweets 4 min read Read on X
I'M BACK for more #airingofgrievances, exposing waste, and generally pissing people off online.
I would like to personally thank @elonmusk for buying this platform and allowing us all to say Happy #Festivus again. I mean, we could always say it. No one actually ever stopped us from saying it, but whatever.
@elonmusk I'm kidding. The war on Christmas was REAL. It was so real that Lindsey Graham tried to send it aid money.
@elonmusk You know the current war is not going well when Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham aren't even sure they want to send it money. They saw Zelensky last week, patted their pockets, and said sorry all out.  It's quite the #Festivus Miracle, really.
@elonmusk Speaking of Zelensky, last year I said he came to Congress dressed like he was delivering our Uber Eats order. This year I would say it was more like he was trying to sell me the next iPhone at a @TMobile store.
@elonmusk @TMobile Most of the candidates on the Republican side are against more aid, and I think that's a great step forward for our party and country. I'm skeptical about Chris Christie's plan to trade weapons for perogies, though.
@elonmusk @TMobile Let me ask you a question, and you can reply with your answer: should the GOP change its nominating method to a TV reality show/game show combo? Think of it as the Battle of the Network Stars meets the Apprentice. I bet the ratings would be better than these unwatchable debates.
@elonmusk @TMobile This weekend I'm traveling to see my parents, and it always reminds me that if more people than just me and @repthomasmassie had been listening to my Dad, we would be a lot better off.
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie I have a problem with @Tedcruz this year - as usual it’s about not understanding liberty. To all those who have a pet peeve against something (like smart refrigerators)  — do the libertarian thing: if you don’t like them don’t buy them. goodhousekeeping.com/appliances/ref…
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie @tedcruz And on this and many things, leave the rest of us the hell alone. I’m almost out of mayo and I need my refrigerator to know that.
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie @tedcruz I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave out @justinamash. He also listened to my Dad, but then he set himself on fire after his TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) diagnosis.
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie @tedcruz @justinamash Speaking of which, when Donald Trump is elected for the second time next year, we better clear out a lot of space on planes and roads leaving the country. I expect every leftist half-wit entertainer who says they're going to leave to do so. They always tell the truth, right?
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie @tedcruz @justinamash Same with the angry leftist politicians. That is, whoever is still here after Epstein's full list is published next year.
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie @tedcruz @justinamash I'm kidding, @HillaryClinton. Kid-ding.  Also, I'm not suicidal and do not wish to harm myself. Thank you.
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie @tedcruz @justinamash @HillaryClinton Speaking of harm, it's time again to look at what both parties in DC are doing to your future by wasting your tax dollars.
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie @tedcruz @justinamash @HillaryClinton More tax dollars down the litter box... Image
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie @tedcruz @justinamash @HillaryClinton It's high time we swing back towards fiscal sanity.
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie @tedcruz @justinamash @HillaryClinton That's all for now. I'll return later with more, but for the time being, you can enjoy my Christmas playlist on Spotify. open.spotify.com/playlist/1kVSc…
@elonmusk @TMobile @RepThomasMassie @tedcruz @justinamash @HillaryClinton Also, you can read more about the waste report right here and I will be back in a while! foxnews.com/politics/rand-…

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More from @RandPaul

Jun 30
🧵Many of us were called “conspiracy theorists” for questioning whether or not COVID-19 started because of a lab leak. After all, Anthony Fauci and the NIH had been funding dangerous gain-of-function research.

cnbc.com/2021/06/09/fau…
And because the far Left’s golden child, Dr. Fauci, said we weren’t “following the science,” the mainstream media parroted his talking points and ran with it.
forbes.com/sites/startswi…
But don’t forget: Anthony Fauci admitted he *knew* there could be something as serious as a lab leak, but he thought the benefits outweighed the risk of a potential pandemic. Boy, was he wrong…

foxnews.com/politics/fauci…
Read 17 tweets
Jun 9
We can cut the proposed border funding in half, from $150 billion to $75 billion, and still secure our border and protect the American people.

Let me give you an example of how this is excessive.
Let’s take the proposed border wall.

Proposed fence cost: $46.5 billion
Actual fence cost: $6.5 billion

How did I come up with that number? Math based on costs, according to Border Patrol.
$6.5 million per mile x 1,000 miles of border wall = $6.5 billion

Where is that extra $40 billion going?
I’m all for hiring new people to help secure our borders, but we don’t need it to the extent that’s in this bill, especially when our border is largely contained.

We have to remember that every person we hire comes with added costs: health care benefits, pension benefits, the list goes on.
Read 4 tweets
Mar 4
🧵🚨 1/6

You would think that the revelations concerning the State Dept. paying for Trans operas, comic books, and such would shame Congress into reducing foreign aid...
🧵2/6

But watch your Congress person closely.  In a matter of days, Congress will vote to continue foreign aid at current levels for another year.  What an insult to the American taxpayer.
🧵3/6

In case, you’ve forgotten what lunacy is being funded by foreign aid, here is a reminder:

$14M for cash vouchers for illegal migrants

$55K for a climate change presentation by female & LGBT journalists IN ARGENTINA!
Read 6 tweets
Dec 23, 2024
I’m back again!
One of the things I love to hate about Washington is that they look at challenges the same way every time, despite the evidence that their last plan didn’t work.
Need to fix our budget? Don’t worry, they will spend MORE ...
Read 10 tweets
Dec 23, 2024
I'm BACK. I'm not as back as the Trump folks; they're SO back. I'm just back.
What are some of your Festivus traditions? Tell us in the replies! I tried to get feats of strength on the Senate floor as a tradition, but since everyone else is over 80, there weren't many takers.
Quick, who has the higher average age, the Senate or the top touring musical acts of 2024? They have Jagger, Richards, Springsteen, and Dylan, but we have Grassley. It's a tough call.
Read 19 tweets
Dec 23, 2024
It's that time of year again. Happy Festivus! I've got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it.
It’s hard to decide where to start these grievances. Every year, I think, there can’t be THAT many more can there?

But when you’re surrounded by people in Congress every day, it’s not a problem at all.
Can you imagine deciding who you’ll be mad at on any given day? It’s almost impossible. Image
Image
Read 15 tweets

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