Thread by @Darth___ADA

"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain" - Vitalik (Charles' intern)

Almost a wrap for 2024. Here's the story of @IOHK_Charles from start to finish in a Christmas Special, depicted by midjourney 6

Merry Christmas Cardazno 🎁

🧵👇

But first, may I remind you.

There is no coin burn this year 😤

Buckle up, and seek the truth about Chuck (Charles) Hosko. Several books have missed the mark but I have the secret sauces 🍅

Some people think Charles made money off bitcoin. This is a lie, he began his life as humble rancher.

He syphoned the testicles of bison and flipped them for a profit, selling them in energy drinks to 'alpha' males and making his first millions 🐍

Critics called him a Snek oil salesman, but the proof was in the pudding...

Charles became incredibly buff on his own supply and forced his way to the top of the Etheriuum team, as lead commando.

They feared him so deeply that they would not dare touch his spotify playlist, even though the songs were by old people about fields and rails

Charles toured Afghan in his spare time when taking breaks from coding, much to the disbelief of his cofounders, utilizing his multiple passports.

After a tragic accident, falling too far from a helicopter in enemy territory, Charles shattered his knee, and was booted by the etheriium team for his reckless adventures.

Charles left his remaining $eth with his intern, Vitalik Butopian

But Charles didn't care. He was done playing with toys and watching his coworkers dance like elven fairies at crypto events. It was time to make something real.

He was a honey badger amongst badger badger badgers🦾

Charles spent a year in Australia wrestling crocodiles to get his mojo back whilst his knee repaired. His love for Australia remained and he would later name his native tokens after their most sacred word.

Cardano Utxo Native Tokens 🔥

He travelled to the edges of the world to harden his philosophical mind and studied the ways of Wim Hof.

He began to understand everything on a fundamental level. In order to understand liquid staking one must understand solid staking.

He didn't just walk through the snow...

He became the snow ☃️

Intermission: Merry Christmas ya filthy animals

After his time abroad he knew what he had to do. He knew what he had to do. It was time to cook

Cardanzo was launched in an RV in warm sunny Colorado, which he refers to regularly to remind him of humble beginnings 🧑‍🔬

Chukky potter wasn't like those other grubby, gringot fiat garbage. He was eager to find the way forward. And was willing to try experiment, to try everything...

...and he did try everything

It was time to onboard a billion users. Charles commissioned southpark to produce a whiteboard video which became the most viewed on netflix

Building on first principles meant no surprises or quick fixes, unlike his competitors and evil intern who turned against him

Charles was no longer a puppet to the fiat system and the creature of Colorado RV had set sail

But it wasn't all smooth sailing. Charles had to rewrite the code for Byron era, which was stolen by a ringgirl whilst he was in a mma cage fight with chico

But the second time, the code was even better, and was rebranded to Byron Turbo 🏎️💨

He found solace in his community, which kept him fighting through the criticism.

...even the idiot ones who aped into everything he tweeted

...and he become as friendly and fierce as a Mongolian warlord Santa clause

The man had established himself as a crypto kingpin that almost made some lists by some media groups but no quite because they didn't like him on their lists because they don't hold the cardanzos and are kinda cunnies tbh fr ngl

Oh bugger there is a limit to these thread tweets...

69 likes and I will continue the story in the comments...

To be cuntinued ...

But the lists didn't matter. Charles was stone cold on his vision and continued to buidl

Only stopping briefly to save Africa, from investing in Luna

Despite his charitible efforts, Charles new he had to prepare for the downturn.

The bear market was coming. And someone had to make a stand

But no one is perfect, and when Charles was Home Alone he mistakenly retweeted a pic of his dog...

...and a portion of the community painted him to be the rug king, in order to avoid the daunting fate of accepting responsibility for their own actions

The degens roasted him over the ashes