Thread by @Enviosity

My trauma with Tectone:

This will be the first and last time I'll make a public statement about my experience with Tectone over 3 years.

The control he's had on my life. The PTSD. A summary of it all.

I owe the recent events which has encouraged me to speak my truth.

1/18

Due to my recent actions I've quickly learned that staying silent for 3 years and allowing this trauma to dwell up inside me rather than addressing it will regrettably result in hot-tempered takes and me acting out as someone I'm not.

2/18

It all started with the prolonged period of him badgering me throughout daily streams

I go live when he's live?

"Envi, let me know before you stream?"
"Half my viewers always leave to watch you"
"Can you stream later?"

My community was confused why I had to cater to him

3/18

Everything turned into a competition.

I want to host giveaway? He had to do a bigger giveaway.

If I was close to passing him in followers? He'd tell his audience not to let me catch up

This instigated his fans to flood my chat telling everyone to unfollow and follow him

4/18

It ultimately stopped being a competition to him and rather a means to bully and belittle me any chance he could get.

I never understood his mindset of needing to continuously "punch down" at a smaller content creator.

5/19

During my Rosaria pulls years ago was glimpses of the PTSD in action, where I'd be anxiously waiting for more of his community to jump in and spread hate.

This was my streaming life that I had to bottle in and couldn't speak out about due to fear.

6/19

Despite it all he built this false narrative and told his audience that everything he did was "just friendly banter".

I never reciprocated those same feelings back to him.

Hell, he assumed since he followed me on Twitter it instantly made us friends.

7/19

This eventually led me into a panic attack I've had on stream where because it was on the internet, he now uses that to antagonize me more.

This confuses me since he should know better than anyone about being vulnerable when he went on HealthyGamer to speak with Dr. K

8/19

I watched the session with him and Dr. K and thought he would finally change.

That he'd FINALLY have empathy. That he'd understand the importance of mental health in this economy over the years.

Especially when constant bullying results in severe outcomes.

9/19

Fast forward and we finally squashed the "beef" and a load of stress was relieved.

I thought maybe for once we could move on. Everyone was happy for the outcome.

We've made peace at last.

10/19

That was until shortly after I found out that apparently he just kept attacking me despite me not doing anything to him.

The cycle thus continued.

11/19

Unfortunately I had to isolate myself and block out anything involving him due to the constant stress.

Because of this I ended up missing some pretty big news and disturbing clips involving him, which I just found out about a couple of days ago.

Inexcusable behavior.

12/19

I'm disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to find this information out sooner because after learning what shameless human behavior he displayed has made me lose any ounce of respect I had left for him.

I feel less anger now and instead feel disgust and pity for him.

13/19

Sadly due to my past trauma & under duress I made a hotheaded statement of "I should be the only one praised for being F2P in Genshin" to the recent Genshin drama

My peers gave their honest opinion, said that it was out of line and "it wasn't like me to say that at all."

14/19

They were right. It wasn't me.

I'm not the best at articulating my emotions. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

Especially when dealing with anxiety & allowing this trauma to live inside me, things spiraled out of control.

I look back to that moment & everything is a blur.

15/19

Sadly I can't erase peoples first impressions and I apologize for that. I'm upset I allowed his constant harassment affect me this much.

I am thankful my peers and community who have been with me for years know I've never acted like that once and have stuck by my side.

16/19

There's only ever been one common denominator in all this stress and I already know the outcome of this tweet since we've been through this cycle many times.

He'll continue to defend, deflect and villainize. The unnecessary harassment will continue. Nothing will change.

17/19

I've learned over these years that if I defend myself, I'll anger him. If I don't defend myself? I'll anger him. If we "squash the beef"? He'll continue to shit talk me.

In a triple lose situation I've realized I need to do what's best for me:

Finally letting go.

18/19

This is my peace.

I already expect nothing to change and he will continue to slander me whether I've made this post or not.

But my anger has faded. I feel pity for him and can't in good faith acknowledge him any further. Your words hold no value anymore.

I am free.

19/19