Thread by @broadwaybabyto

Friend was traveling & wanted to visit - I declined because they don’t take Covid precautions. They get home & tell me “omg I’m so sick - it’s a good thing we didn’t visit as this would kill you.” I asked if they considered the other people like me they exposed on travels. A 🧵/1

I’m severely immune compromised and high risk - so given we’ve abandoned all mitigations at a societal level I’ve been forced to isolate to protect my health. I’ve lost many friends as a result. When someone offers to come see me - it could provide a much needed boost. /2

Anyone in my life knows exactly WHY I’m so high risk - and thankfully most of the people left in my circles take precautions to protect me. If someone won’t take any then I decline a visit. I’m too exhausted to argue - if you don’t want to mitigate I simply won’t see you. /3

Often this decision ends or severely impacts the friendship. People don’t like it when you set boundaries or question their behaviour. This situation was unique because the friend who was traveling ended up getting sick halfway through their trip. /4

As a result they had to face the reality that a) their lack of mitigations caused them to become severely ill and b) had they come to visit me there’s a very good chance they would have given that illness to me. /5

After they began showing symptoms - including fever and a “wicked cough” … they had 4 more days of travel. That’s 4 days checking into hotels, eating in restaurants and using public service stations. 4 days of exposing other people. /6

I pointed out that there are many people working in these places who are vulnerable like me - and that they had put them at risk. Their response? “We had no choice we had to get home.” So I asked if they masked. They said no. /7

We discussed how they were relieved they didn’t see me because they recognize the severity of their illness would be catastrophic for me - but they can’t extend that same courtesy to strangers. They can recognize the risk - but it’s not a concern if they don’t know the person. /8

This is why vulnerable & disabled people are so unsafe. I often hear “just stay home when sick” in response to asking people to mask - but the vast majority of people don’t stay home. MANY workers are unable to stay home because they don’t have adequate sick leave. /9

Even people who know a severely vulnerable person & express relief at having not exposed them to illness - still can’t apply that compassion at a societal level. Which is why we’ve got so much Covid spread. People don’t care to protect others anymore. /10

As a result anyone who is vulnerable is basically excluded from society. This could be fixed with common sense measures like clean air & masking - but instead of doing that we’ve adopted a “you do you” approach that is completely and utterly failing. /11

Now the CDC are looking to shorten the Covid isolation period to 1 day - which will increase spread and tells disabled people that our lives are not worth protecting. People won’t do the right thing unless there are rules demanding they do. It’s sad but true. /12

The reason so many of us are advocating for masks and clean air is because most people are like my friend (or worse). Only capable of thinking of themselves or people in their immediate sphere - and don’t care at all if they infect others. /13

We are in an airborne pandemic. Everyone needs to breathe the air. In public spaces that air is shared. So we must acknowledge there’s a risk and work COLLECTIVELY to lower it. It’s been 4 years of forcing disabled people to stay home. It’s time for something to change. /14

The good news is change is possible. We know filtering & ventilation can massively reduce transmission and respirators are very effective for high risk situations like hospitals. We can lobby for the 5 day isolation period to remain unchanged & free tests to be available. /15

We don’t have to continue to accept constant sickness, death & disability as our “new normal”. Nothing about this is normal. Humans have tremendous capacity to change & adapt in the face of threats and we are only failing to do it because the loudest voices lack the will. /16

If you’re disabled, vulnerable or high risk - or if you’re someone who knows people who are - it’s time to get loud & make our voices heard. Politicians & governments need to know that people WANT more protections. /17

If you’re sick with something that you KNOW would harm the disabled person in your life - you need to stay home. You can’t just avoid the one high risk person you care about & risk all the other similar people in the world. If you absolutely can’t stay home - wear a mask. /18

We absolutely can do better - but it starts with acknowledging there’s a threat and pushing back on people who don’t care just because they believe it doesn’t impact them. I see people advocating & pushing back every day - and I believe together we will turn the tide. /end

Addendum: Let this story serve as a reminder that it’s ok to set & stick to your boundaries. It’s ok to not see people who won’t keep you safe. Had I caved to the pressure my friend put on me I would more than likely be very sick right now.