views
Kelly Profile picture
Mar 23 19 tweets 4 min read Read on X
“If you’re too sick to microwave a meal you need full time care! You don’t have full time care? You must be faking!” The comments I’ve seen about disabled people needing to use food delivery apps are hurtful & judgemental. A 🧵on disability, ableism & lack of support /1
There is a pervasive argument that many disabled people MUST have full time care or they’re “not that sick”. Temp abled people refuse to accept that many of us don’t have a full time option & need piecemeal help wherever we can find it. Many of us can’t cook, clean or drive. /2
Yet when we outsource that help we get criticized. The most common criticism I hear is “if you really couldn’t do those things you would have a caregiver.” This is a ridiculous argument. Do people think caregivers grow on trees? /3
The reality is that many disabled people don’t have someone who can support them in person. They don’t live with parents/spouses who can help them with activities of daily living. They have to outsource. It’s unreasonable to expect every disabled person to live with family /4
Private caregiving is insanely expensive. It’s also usually an hourly or daily rate which isn’t always applicable to the situation. Many disabled people need help sporadically throughout the day & often can’t know for certain when they will need that help. /5
App based services that deliver takeaway or groceries can be a lifesaver. Same with ride share services or apps like Taskrabbit that let you hire someone to help with a specific in home task as a one time exchange. /6
I see people saying things like “can’t cook a meal but can answer the door to get delivery” & I want to scream. Only someone who’s had good health their whole life would make a comment like that. They’re two completely different activities that require vastly different effort /7
Also please realize that for many of us - even placing an order and answering the door might be more than we can handle. We might injure ourselves getting to the door or over exert trying to clean up the garbage. But the alternative is that we STARVE. /8
I know the response will be “if it was truly that bad you would have help” but please believe me when I say that’s NOT HOW IT WORKS. There’s not enough help to go around. /9
Having in person support is often based solely on luck (ie do you have family who can assist) or privilege (can you afford the huge price tag attached to private home care). It is NOT determined by severity. In a just world it might be - but we do not live in a just world. /10
Given the vast majority of disabled people are on their own and struggling to keep their heads above water - they make do with what they can. They cobble together their survival needs based on friends & neighbours and app based services. /11
Since Covid many have lost their friends and neighbours. Many have been completely abandoned. App based services are all they have left. It’s unfair to criticize them for doing what they need to survive when there’s no other options available. /12
When you’re tempted to criticize or judge perhaps remember you don’t see our day to day suffering. You don’t see the exhaustion after attempting to prepare a meal or the agony of having to choose between paying for meds or help with food. /13
We live lives of crappy choices and never ending compromise. All we do is sacrifice and accommodate. If there was an easier way - we would do it. The fact that there isn’t an easier way speaks to how little society cares about disabled people’s quality of life. /14
If your initial reaction to a disabled person saying they need to order delivery because they can’t prepare a meal is to doubt how sick they are - you are privileged. Instead of arguing with us please listen and acknowledge us when we explain our reality. /15
If you’ve been blessed with good health your entire life of course it’s hard to comprehend what we say is true. But that’s because you lack the experience - not because what we say is false. You WANT to believe that if you’re “really that sick” help will be available. /16
It’s easier to believe we’re exaggerating or faking than accept the reality that health is a temporary state not guaranteed to anyone. Unless the system changes you too will be faced with hard choices, crappy compromises and little help when you lose your health. /17
So please - instead of judging us LISTEN to us. Ask WHY there aren’t better supports available.
If you want to be angry be angry at governments who expect us to exist below the poverty level & refuse to provide any meaningful support. Help us change the system. /18
Finally stop taking your good health for granted. Disability is not a vacation. It’s a hard life filled with pain, suffering & grief. Protect your health & avoid repeated Covid infections. Care about the most vulnerable and everyone will be safer. We ARE in this together. /end.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Kelly

Kelly Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @broadwaybabyto

Mar 24
A right leaning friend told me that given all the lies told at beginning of Covid pandemic he didn’t feel anyone would reconsider mitigations unless “bodies start piling up”. I explained that it’s not death toll in acute phase that is the biggest concern - it’s disability. 🧵 /1
This person genuinely didn’t understand that a virus could be a significant threat to the population in the absence of “bodies piling up”. I tried to educate on sudden deaths after recovering from Covid - that was met with “no way to prove it was Covid.” /2
I tried to discuss rising disability rates and the odds of Long Covid and that was met with “I don’t know anyone with that - clearly it’s not an issue.”

Herein lies the problem. For many people unless someone they know is directly impacted they can’t see there’s a threat /3
Read 13 tweets
Mar 21
I’ve got a friend who’s not taking any Covid precautions because he’s angry about restrictions placed on people at the beginning of the pandemic. He wants to forget it ever happened. I mentioned Covid can infect dogs. He loves his dog. He paused & said “well what can I do?” 🧵/1
I felt a moment of hope because it seemed like the risk to his dog MIGHT be the thing that got through to him. I shared a few articles about Covid in dogs and he was horrified and genuinely worried for his pup. He wanted to know how to protect her. /2
We discussed HEPA filters & ventilation, testing & masking around your pet if you have Covid. I explained how a layered approach is the most effective. His reply? “That really sucks. I don’t want anything to happen to my dog. But that’s way too much work.” /3
Read 5 tweets
Mar 20
If you’re newly disabled - whether by Long Covid or any other chronic illness - you need to prepare yourself for gaslighting. Doctors, HCWs, friends, family…. You will be surprised how much it’ll happen. A 🧵on how to cope, why it happens & finding your tribe. /1
I will be honest - before becoming disabled I barely knew what gaslighting was. It had happened to me but it wasn’t something I was acutely aware of. That changed in a hurry when I lost my health. /2
People who are temporarily abled always seem to think they won’t become sick - or if they do they will be surrounded by love & support and easy answers and “fixes”. Unfortunately that’s rarely the case & this realization can be quite jarring for people. /3
Read 21 tweets
Mar 19
When you’re chronically ill - and especially if your autonomic nervous system is broken - the smallest setbacks can devastate you. I don’t think healthy people understand this. Our baseline means everything - and it’s far too easy to destroy it. A short 🧵 on recent struggles /1
I’ve got many conditions and chronic illnesses but one of my worst ones is Dysautonomia. It’s treatment resistant and has gotten worse over time. My autonomic nervous system DOES NOT WORK. /2
That means my body can’t properly regular its blood pressure, heart rate, temperature, digestion, respirations and so much more. It can’t understand the difference between good & bad stress. My heart rate and BP will go crazy at the slightest setback or trigger. /3
Read 15 tweets
Mar 18
Let’s talk about THAT NPR article. I’ve taken a few days to grieve for those forced into dangerous situations by spouses/family who would rather go back to normal than protect their vulnerable loved ones. Where has kindness gone & how do we stop treating ppl as disposable? 🧵/1
I wish I could say I was shocked to read that piece - but after 4 years of being abandoned by more people than I care to admit - little surprises me anymore. We were “all in this together” for a few weeks - and then people got sick of it. /2
People don’t want to change their behaviours. For many healthy & privileged people the pandemic was the first time they ever had to make sacrifices or change their “normal”. Most didn’t like it. /3
Read 21 tweets
Mar 16
This #LongCovidAwarenessDay I want to say sorry. I’m sorry to everyone who’s joined ranks of the chronically ill & disabled because our leaders, public health and fellow citizens refuse to take Covid seriously. A 🧵on failed pandemic response, ableism, mitigations & disability /1
Those of us who were disabled before the pandemic could see this wave of chronic illness coming - and many of us have been screaming from the top of our lungs the last 4 years. Begging people not to take their health for granted & to wear a mask and protect themselves. /2
Warning them that there are no do-overs once you become chronically ill. Unfortunately very few people are listening - and many won’t understand the true devastation of #LongCovid until it directly impacts them. At which point it’ll be too late. /3
Read 10 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us!

:(