Last month my complaint against my rapist’s defence lawyer was upheld and he’d been found to have “abused his position”. Today, I learned of the penalty. He will be fined, ordered to pay me compensation, and issued with a “severe written censure”. Misogyny has consequences.
This has been an immensely hard-fought battle, and I’m so proud of myself for finding the strength to pursue this. I was devastated after all he subjected me to in court, but I knew he had to be held to account. Lorenzo Alonzi lost my rapist’s case, and he lost this too.
I do think however, that the consequences are not severe enough. The fine is £2,000 and the compensation payment is £1,000. While I’m pleased that there will be a material cost to him, and this will serve as a warning to others, the amounts are pitiful.
I had to take a considerable amount of time away from work after the trauma he subjected me to in court, and yet what he has to pay is probably a drop in the ocean compared to the fee he’s received for taking the case.
In the report, it’s clear that he is not sorry for his actions and more focused on his own reputation being damaged. Not the immense harm he’s caused me and his own profession. He does not have to apologise to me, and so I’m robbed of closure.
The complaints committee was clear that his conduct was inappropriate and unacceptable. Not only that, but the impact on public confidence is also significant. His actions could deter others from coming forward about their own rapes.
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Imagine being raped, battling through a traumatic justice system, somehow securing a guilty verdict to then find out there is an advocacy group for CONVICTED RAPISTS who are about to make your life miserable? Well that’s exactly what rape survivors in Scotland are dealing with.
I recently had the misfortune to come across Justice for Innocent Men Scotland (JIMS) who advocate on behalf of convicted rapists and claim their victims are “false accusers”. I’ve caught their attention and they’ve dedicated part of their website to me, branding me “disgusting”.
While I initially tried to brush this, and their subsequent social media posts about me, off I became aware this issue was much broader than me. Over the last week I’ve had countless women who’ve been raped coming forward to tell me about their negative experiences with JIMS.
Over the past weeks my rapist’s father, who’s a GP, has subjected me to a campaign of harassment, abuse, and stalking. He’s called me a “slut”, an “escort”, a “hippo”, falsely claimed I had incestuous relationships with family members, and stated he has nude photos of me.
I can’t believe that 8 years after first being raped by his son, and 3 years after his son was sent to prison, my life is still being made a living hell by this family. I am terrified both in my home and when I leave my home, and have no idea what Andrew McFarlane will do next.
Concerningly, since his campaign of abuse came to light, I’ve had multiple former patients and colleagues of Dr McFarlane get in contact raising concerns. These include allegations of misogynistic behaviour such as claiming a patient’s pain was due to “not having a man” and asking if her two children were fathered by the same man, and irrelevant questions about her libido. This was reported to NHS Highland whose response was to simply “talk to” McFarlane.
At the end of 2023 I was targeted with horrific online abuse by an anonymous account. I’d suspected it was ran by the family of the man convicted of raping me but couldn’t prove this. I’m now aware my rapist’s father is posting the same vile content on his personal accounts 🧵
The content on the anonymous account and the most recent social media posts under his own name is utterly abhorrent. Incredibly defamatory claims have been made about me, other witnesses in the case, and people around me.
I’ve had intimate images of me I didn’t know existed posted online, and I’ve had the most vile comments made about me and my body. The toll this has taken on me has been enormous - I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts and been petrified for my safety. But they wanted that.
I waived my anonymity after my rape trial ended because I wanted to help others and change the system. I never ever thought that speaking out as a rape survivor would lead to constant criticism, hatred, and harassment by people that don’t see me as human. It hurts, immeasurably.
This scene from my documentary is incredible vulnerable and one that I felt very anxious for people to see - but I think it’s important. I see myself as strong and a lot of the time I am, but I carry the burden of trauma with me always and the cruel words devastate me.
I’ve had trolling from faceless misogynistic accounts - they tell me I wasn’t raped, or that I deserved to be raped, or that they’ll come and rape me. They scrutinise my appearance - either sexualising me, or telling me I’m ugly. They call me used goods and say I’m unloveable.
Kyle Clifford has just been found guilty of raping his ex girlfriend before brutally murdering her and her sister with a crossbow, and stabbing her mother to death. Less than 24 hours before his attack he had been listening to an Andrew Tate podcast.
There are no words to describe the evil of his actions. He acted out of entitlement because his victim had decided to leave the relationship. The only person responsible for his actions is him. But we also have to look at the content he was consuming and the underlying beliefs.
We are living through a new era of misogyny, where hatred of women is open and available for all to see. Influencers like Andrew Tate have millions of followers, and despite awaiting trial for rape, has the backing of the US president.
In 2024 I won compensation from my rapist’s lawyer for the appalling way he treated me in court. I taught myself the law and faced off against a team of lawyers… and won. In many ways 2024 pushed me to limits, but it also showed me that I am to my core a fighter.
This year was a tough year, a brutal one. I’ve faced near relentless harassment and trolling, some of which has required police intervention. I’ve had to deal with my rapist’s parole proceedings. I’ve dealt with illness and loss. But every time I got back up again.
In many ways, 2024 was yet another stellar year which showcased the resilience of women. We saw Gisele Pelicot in France sparking a global moment for reflection about sexual violence. Every day we hear stories of defiance from women living under brutal sexist regimes.