Thread by @hackingnirvana

Las Abuelitas - Parte Dos

On reviewing our notes on the subject I have to ask you to bear with me for an unnecessary detour (if it wasn't unnecessary I woundn't have to ask you to bear)

💁‍♂️🧙‍♀️👇

Ancient empires could accumulate their entire resources and produce, at best, a really good bronze sword. Let's say a starmetal sword (you appear to like those).

With it a man who was already the best of fifty could face 30 men (instead of his usual 20).

To keep it simple, the most concentrated technical skill (if someone says force multiplayer we are done) was not much.

Today we can make implants, nano, crisper and whatnot. Our one man army can bear 200. (if unintended sideeffects don't get him first).

In contrast old empires had time. A long line, perhaps 400 years of the best fighter breeding, you can fill in the rest.

The empires of our time are licky if they make 30s.

(Hold on, we are getting there)

Or so we thought at first.

I forgot to add todays populations being so much higher we get the best fighter in 400 million or so.

This was the approach of the first One Man Army, the first OMA, the first abuelita, the first granny (we were fighting the germans, don't forget).

Here we ran into 3 problems. The first and most important one we'll have to save for later.

The other 2 are plenty.

The 2nd of course is that we defeated the germans and although our budget consisted mostly of staplery and stew

On what you are thinking, I will only say that once we put our best fighters and support personnel in the same space the, uhm, pairing thing took on a life of its own.

we were relegated to what we expected to be a thrilling oneuppance of ever more cutting cheekboned weapons

but effectively turned out to be "little miss sunshine" for fighting age men.

And yes, once Master Chef came up and they starting calling it Master Chief we kinda gave up

But the parts you were interested in were these:
1. Turns out this ancient empires hadn't so much 'died out' as much as started wearing slightly less inconspicuous headwear, and we were able to run into many of these "long succession of heirs of best fighters"

which
A. after, who knows, (4000yrs?) of this, on our first encounter we had our asses handed to us
B. luckily (for us) due to a law that we began to actually understand only later on, a combination of carelessness, overconfidence (and tedium, I mean cmon, 4000 yrs of

chaperoning?) there turned out to be a stupendous amount of inbreeding and, with an admittedly uncalled for amount of leveraging birth defects and outright bullying their funny bulged chins, we were able to make beachead.

Turns out the best fighter was the lovers we became in the way, that is to say, once we realized the (very) concrete, and often misbehaved, results of competence, certain others of our problems kind of went of their own way.

We are now sitting on this info >>

during this "epidemic of incels" for two very important reasons:
1. more to ourselves
2. we are still thinking of ways of monetizing it

But to answer what you actually wanted to know

Yes we were able to find a certain someone from a very, very long line of fighters (we have the DNA thing and everything)

And were able to equip this person with what (hold on, last time, I promise) >>

The problem of making increasingly convoluted means of unaliving people is that there is a so called convergent evolution [it is not, in fact, called that way] between getting people insane enough to come up with them and actually being able to get them to not do it (to you)

(thank you for 🐻‍❄️with me)

and although we were expecting to topple plenty of governments and were already well on the way of desigining our dictator mansions (the most important part, of course) (you should have seen the models for ants)

(You actually doubt me still?)

We actually found that having the ultimate means of unaliving our enemies created a being that was not fond of violence at all.

And not only were we thoroughly incapable of coaxing him into doing so

>>

>>

He talked the violence out of all of us before we knew what was going on.

And then he played old clips of us being aweful and made fun of us.

The popcorn was dope, though. All crispy, salt and honey (the bees are okay with it, we talked).

And then we realized that all this research on empty carvings and infuriatingly hard to reach granite temples were for.

We thought they were hiding planar weapons and exoteric hellfire

Turns out our concept of [wordly] power was childish

In an inversion of iron-man, in trying to give the world its ultimate weapon, we got rid of weapons altogether.

We will have to discuss what this power was and how to wield it.

But first we need to go through the basics of

Almost Warfare.

we find a

@UnrollHelper