Thread by @AnnaOdesitka

Here is promised present. I recorded & transcribe & translate entire conversation I have with my father about 🇷🇺 nuclear threats. Some words I don’t know exact translation for so I leave. I try to retain his humor but it’s not as funny translated🧵

1. Another point you will notice he talk in questions. He’s not expecting answer. It’s how he talk. And he switch from russian to Yiddish constantly so I make it flow as one translation.

1. Ok papa, I record. Tell my friends if you think Russians will use nukes.

Papa: “It’s stupid fear. It’s combination of issues that make this impossible scenario.

“You imagine he just walk over and press button? No no, this is not reality. Do you know how many people exist”

2. “Between Putin issuing command and actual launch? Do you think those people want their children to die for imperial war? They don’t care if they kill us. But you must use reason. These are people with children and grandchildren. That’s first issue. Let me tell you 2 things”

3. “Putin is evil, yes, this is true. He is dangerous. He has singular obsession of rebuilding Soviet empire. Hes drunk on this shit. But he is not god. He think he is. But he’s not. No Russian is going to agree to carry out this order.”

4. “Second thing, even if he jail those who refuse, what he will do? Put advertisement in Pravda asking for people to follow orders to murder their family?

“Russians are ok to send ethnic people to die for them. They ok with genocide. But they still love their children”

5. Me: You said several issues. Not following orders is one. What is rest?

Papa: “Well then you have Xi. China support russian imperial dreams because while Russia are busy with us, China is busy taking from them.”

6. “Longer this go on, more debt Russia owe China, more resources China can steal, more slow occupation China can make. It’s big grab by China. They keep their Moscow dog busy and in debt.

But there of course is limit.”

7. “You think China is going to let its crazy dog off leash to destroy whole world? No no, never”

Me: How will China even know he is giving this order?

Papa: “Don’t ask stupid question. China know when Putin farts or when he on top of his gymnast concubine. They will know”

8. You mention chain of command and China. Anything else?

Papa: “Let me tell you 2 things. First thing is we built and upkeep that arsenal before fall. You think Russians take care of this? They have budget, yes? What you think those жулики leave that money alone?”

8. “Аферисты, all of them, steal it all. They don’t imagine they ever need use of nuclear weapons. Sasha, Misha and Vasya all stole that money and buy yachts. There is no guarantee that should they launch nuclear weapon it won’t detonate before it leave Russia.”

9. “Second thing is I have long hold suspicion that we sabotage what we hand over. Not all, some. But only god would know now which ones.”

“So you see this is whole picture. Even if he give order, it would require entire chain of people to follow it. Which they won’t.”

10. “And even if they follow it, Xi will drag Putin to Siberia and bury him in snow. And even if China fail to stop it, Russians don’t know what is usable, safe, to even try to launch.”

11. “If by some miracle all these obstacles are overcome, by that time, Putin and his Russia will be ash. No country will allow Russians to launch nuclear weapons.”

“You see, use reason. It’s just not possible scenario. Tell your friends not to believe any of this performance.”

12. “Putin is desperate. He can’t win. But also as I tell you, this war can’t go on. He need us to surrender so he can look like he won something. That’s his only hope. That’s why we keep going. No negotiations. We let that fucking country implode like last 2 times.”

13. Me: Anything you want to say to my foreign friends?

Papa: “Tell them don’t be afraid. Live your life without fear. That’s best life. Also thank them for being nice to my daughter.”

End