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The Road Jess Travelled Profile picture
@JessPected
Nov 30 • 7 tweets • 1 min read • Read on X
Despite all the manipulative self-pity men denouncing "mean" feminists & justifying worshipping misogynists do, what I've observed of men in feminist spaces who know a statement about men isn't a condemnation of them individually is they feel released of patriarchal pressure.
I've seen it referred to as a box men are put in, & it very much is, & what I've noticed from men commenting in feminist spaces is a relief that they can be the kinds of men patriarchy doesn't allow but they'd rather be.
Frankly do resent a movement for the liberation of women centering men but I do believe we all should feel free to live authentically & w/o pressure to live up to someone else's standards.
The men I see rejecting patriarchal narratives appear more at ease & comfortable. Misogynists are so performative & on the verge of exploding.
I also notice men trying to heal, often thru realizing the men feminists describe are these men's fathers. Fortunately Not All Men blame mothers for their fathers' behavior & such self-reflection frees them of internalizing the neglect & abuse. & drives a desire to escape the box
Saw a comment earlier on a post about "men want children like kids want puppies" from a man who noted his father was like that & he didn't understand it because he loved caring for his kids.
You'll never convince me a space where men are called betas & cucks for truly loving others is more comforting than spaces where men can unpack how other men have harmed them, individually or collectively with gender expectations.

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More from @JessPected

The Road Jess Travelled Profile picture
Aug 25
Resent how women's responses are viewed as aggressive, hostile, & rude if they're not deferential to men, requiring women to kneecap their statements & coddle men. Particularly since I intentionally work to remove that from my language to counter that conditioning. 🧵
Especially resent how men who think themselves not like those red hat misogynists enforce this too. Words that from a man would simply be viewed as neutral or confident become uncivil when from women. And men will show no curiosity about their biases.
Recently left a FB group over being scolded for a discussion where no parties were rude but I was a woman disagreeing with a man. This also arises when spaces have rules against "hostility" & "hostility" becomes whatever a marginalized person disagrees with.
Read 6 tweets
The Road Jess Travelled Profile picture
Jun 4
When people, particularly men, inform me a topic isn't serious, like pockets, there are bigger issues - I know. I am capable of caring about lots of things. I'm also aware of how discrimination is normalized & enforced. The small facilitates the large. 🧵
When I'm informed I shouldn't care about the microaggressions, the inconveniences, the casual misogyny, bc the sexual assaults, domestic violence, & femicide (which they also don't care about) should be my focus, I'm struck by the lack of curiosity about how the latter happens.
The death by a thousand cuts doesn't just refer to personal relationships. It also exists in systemic oppression & transports us to the inevitable destination.
Read 7 tweets
The Road Jess Travelled Profile picture
May 8
One of the more obnoxious parts of bear discourse is all the women & men taking time to hold men's hands & explain the point of the hypothetical to alleviate men's self-pity to justify their harassment. The endless coddling & centering men so they wouldn't be sad bois (& abusive)
A hypothetical highlighting women feeling unsafe, the trauma & anxiety we're forced to carry, became about men's feelings. Which is how it always goes when women try to talk about oppression, abuse, or even asking a partner to be a partner. That manipulation is exhausting & evil.
Because it isn't that they don't know. Just as they feigned confusion about Me Too or "boys will boys" or literally every attempt to challenge patriarchy & violence against women/girls, they derail as a personal attack that demands coddling until women shut up.
Read 9 tweets
The Road Jess Travelled Profile picture
May 3
Imagine if women were declaring they wouldn't care or do anything if they saw a child being assaulted. They'd even whip out a phone to film it & laugh. They even think kids deserve to be murdered for not being deferential enough. Because we don't owe kids, we'd only protect ours.
There would be death threats.

But men do this regularly while still trying to sell their "protector" nonsense. Because women are expected to be nurturers, mothers, & failure to do so means the woman is an aberration, despite this role being placed upon women, not chosen.
Yet men can make hollow claims of being protectors, weaponize that unearned self-designation to demand submission, while simultaneously declaring they have no obligation to challenge men, & don't. And men will cheer them for sticking it to the props they stand on for hero status.
Read 5 tweets
The Road Jess Travelled Profile picture
Apr 26
Not All Men, Real Men, he's gay, he's a boy - all these deflections & derailments are meant to preserve the title of (het) Men as noble, heroic, & strong. It's how men signal they do not care about the issue & will not address it but polishing the shine on their title is priority
Man isn't just a gender to them, it's a station of superiority, a title synonymous with dominance & admiration. Women being hurt by men is an individualized experience but calling out men who harm is a stain on their pristine title, which cannot stand.
It's why these men storm into discussions women are having. They don't care that women are being harmed, they care that their title isn't being protected from impurities. (It's one of the reasons I struggle with the toxic/wholesome masculinity discourse.)
Read 5 tweets
The Road Jess Travelled Profile picture
Apr 10
When we talk about men using women/girls' bodies in their power larps to impress other men, the "I'll kill my daughter's boyfriend" is a glaring example. The "protection racket" of patriarchy extends to daughters. This is also rape culture. Image
To be clear, the chance this man would ever hurt a boy/man for harming his daughter is practically nonexistent. More likely he'd blame her. This performance is for men. Hero larps are power fantasies to impress men. Girls are merely props to facilitate them.
He'll also likely spend her childhood socializing her to be "strong" against predators causing her to internalize only weak girls are victims. And teach her to be afraid to ever tell for fear dad will do something to get himself in trouble, which will be her fault, or judge her.
Read 7 tweets

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