Thread by @MuiRebekah

"Deconstruction" is only dangerous to a spiritual abuser. Let me explain why:

For many, Christianity is not just a certain belief in specific doctrines: it is about this relationship you have with someone else "driving your car" & telling you what will get you saved.

The No. 1 method of control in Christianity is to bind you to an institution & belief system because you are afraid. Anything else is hell. Therefore you cannot question the driver of the car (your life).

You cannot leave the abusive relationship with the driver.

Whoever drives the car, whether it is a church or belief system or parents or denomination, has to make you believe that to question their authority is to question God and therefore to lose salvation.

If at any point you question the driver, you will be told that you should not have the audacity to question God.

You cannot ever want to drive. You cannot ever need to decide & discern for yourself what the Bible says & what salvation is. This is arrogant & rebellious behavior.

The thing that you are not allowed to realize or point out is that it is not God who is the driver you're trying to get rid of, the driver is always human.

This human has you depending on them and feeding off of them.

But woe to you if you "deconstruct" & have the audacity to ask to drive your own car & make decisions.

You are told that this is the worst possible insult to God. Yet, again, all you are doing is taking the wheel & questioning, say, Evangelicalism.

You are told that if you were to drive this car you would be indulging in the worst of human depravity and you would instantly go into self-destruction" mode. You would be unable to function & would only desire to drive the car if you HATE GOD.

Guess what? People who leave one branch of Christianity can often end up joining another. If they become Anglican or Orthodox or Anabaptist or another kind of Evangelical, they do so (hopefully) having made a decision for themselves without the constraint of threatened damnation.

This is a better & safer way to practice the faith, in my opinion. Because if you have made this choice, you can choose to leave much more easily than if you had grown up being fed one specific "truth" you were never allowed to really, deeply, question.

But, for many people, the "doctrine" of the car driver (who has usurped the position God grants every person in their own life) is inseparable from this parasitic relationship they have with the driver as spiritual authority.

In fact, the authority/abuse IS the actual doctrine.

In other words, if you are eating salvation off someone else's hand, never let them tell you that they or food they hold is the only nourishment. It's poison, because "Scripture is clear" that we need no middleman or doctrinal conduit.

Monopolized "salvation", the food we eat off abusers' hands, ends up spiritually & practically destructive.

It's called coercive control, & coercive control in the name of supposed "sound doctrine" presupposes a human prerogative to discipline & direct you into heaven.

If someone is deeply questioning what they believe, they are also questioning relationships with people who have told them what to believe.

This is actually the core of deconstruction. I am fully in support of people figuring this out for themselves & making informed decisions.

When "well-meaning Christians" slide into your DMs warning you about the path you're going on, they are trying to drive your car. This is spiritual abuse.

It's readily recognizable from the tone of condescension & passive aggressive threats.

This is why I say, "whatever I believe now, I choose."

This deeply offends some people, who say, "You cannot choose, it is God who {insert Reformation spiel}".

When I say I choose, it means that I chose without compulsion, just as Jesus meant for us to choose discipleship.

Anabaptism was deeply influenced by Erasmus, and I think that's why there was in its earliest iterations an emphasis on the individual's autonomous choices. They sought to remake Christianity & interpret the Bible outside of the bounds of political & ecclesial authority.

Evangelicalism is actually an amalgamation. On one hand, you are required to have a deep personal investment in your spiritual life & believe it wholeheartedly, radically, passionately, for yourself. But, practically, this can only follow a predetermined path of expression.

This means that our "insides", our inner life, and all our energy & passion, are required to conform. We put so much pressure on ourselves to conform, to have the right emotional experiences & responses. This is a pressure to not only do, but be and feel, in a specific way.

Yeah, it's impossible. We cannot live a lie to ourselves.

The funny thing is, the people who want you to continue to perform as a "good Christiam" need you to continue living something that isn't true.

Because, maybe, it was all a performance anyway.