Most people don’t know that Anglicanism was started in 1950 by our pope, CS Lewis, who is still living under a wood somewhere between Oxford and Cambridge.
Our Bible includes the entire Narnia series.
When you become Anglican you have to get divorced like the other pope, Henry VIII.
Someday, our Pope, CS Lewis, will rise up from under the earth and together with JI Packer will rampage through the church of Anglandia speaking true BCP and destroying all our enemies.
When you become Anglican, you are given a bottle of sherry and a tea pot and shown your pew. The tea pot is for the 8th Sacrament: Afternoon Tea
A lot of people don’t know this, but the Bible actually directly quotes the Anglican Book of Common Prayer.
All Anglicans, because of their special history and BCP, know that the worst sin you can commit is to behave boorishly. If you have to choose between schism, heresy, adultery, and behaving badly, don’t behave badly.
Anglicans don’t have to go to therapy because they can drink sherry and eat cheese snaps during their liturgical “coffee hours” 😉
If you feel the desire to pursue a clerical life, you first have to marry someone named Jane who wears inelegant shoes and sweaters from the jumble sale. I don’t make the rules, main Anglican novelists like Jane Austen, Dorothy Sayers, and Barbara Pym do.
Real Anglicans like organ music and Christmas pudding.
Jesus was a good Anglican, but perhaps not quite as good as Queen Elizabeth.
All Anglicans have the Bible sung to them by cherubic choristers who sometimes have beetles put down their choir robes which makes them scream and disqualify themselves from racing in the school treads. All. Of. Them.
*school treat not treads
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