Thread by @TrueFactsStated

Did I ever tell you the story about that time the F.B.I. changed my birthday? I was slowly filling out the required SF-86 form to get my permanent clearance to work at the WH. I dragged my heals because-ok I’ll just say it-I was a my college’s main pot dealer for a couple of (1)

years ten years earlier and I wasn’t sure how WH Counsel would rule on my case. I figured if I had to leave I could still say I had been there for one year. Anyway I got called over to the FBI because they wanted to go over my SF 86. Ok. Fine. The gig is up but I got my year (2)

in and I figured I can still claim it on my resume. Anyway I arrived for my meeting and was ushered in a room. It was like out of a movie. There were three agents across a big table. The chair for me was about 6 feet in front of the table. They weren’t wearing sunglasses but (3)

they might as well have. You get the picture. They asked me to sit and started asking routine questions like where was I born and what was my birthdate. What was dad’s name. Mom’s. They never asked about being a pot dealer. They seemed fixated on my DOB. They asked and I (4)

replied “August 28, 1963”. Then how do you explain this they asked and they opened the one file they had on the desk. I was asked to come forward and examine what was in the folder. It was my original birth certificate from New York City. Not a copy. My actual original birth (5)

certificate. They asked me to read it carefully. And there-clear as could be was my date of birth… August twenty-seventh not 8/28. Then the asked what to them was really the important question. “Are you really Claude Taylor?”. It seemed they were concerned about my mother’s (6)

Russian ethnicity. They thought maybe just maybe I was actually a Russian sleeper agent posing as Claude Taylor. Anyhow, my only explanation was… that the next day was when MLK delivered his I have a dream speech and my parents thought it would be nice to always celebrate (7)

on the 28 not the 27th as I had my entire life. Anywho, they forced me to get a new driver’s license and since I was getting an official US government passport it had to accurately reflect my true date of birth. And that is how the FBI changed my birthday. End.