This is the story of how I nearly lost everything to activist Swedish Social Services.
In 2017, my family and I were living in Sweden.
I had lived there before as a single man. We thought it was the safe, stable, open society everyone in the West keeps praising.
What happened instead nearly destroyed us.
I am a former Marine with a couple combat deployments to Afghanistan (this detail matters) and was part of Marine Corps Forces European Command in Germany. I worked for Amazon Web Services with a Nordic focus, staged in Stockholm
I managed teams across Sweden, Denmark, Norway, and Finland.
We lived in the countryside, paid taxes, followed every rule. We even insisted on speaking the local language.
We tried to be the ideal expat family.
In 2017, my family and I were living in Sweden.
I had lived there before as a single man. We thought it was the safe, stable, open society everyone in the West keeps praising.
What happened instead nearly destroyed us.
I am a former Marine with a couple combat deployments to Afghanistan (this detail matters) and was part of Marine Corps Forces European Command in Germany. I worked for Amazon Web Services with a Nordic focus, staged in Stockholm
I managed teams across Sweden, Denmark, Norway, and Finland.
We lived in the countryside, paid taxes, followed every rule. We even insisted on speaking the local language.
We tried to be the ideal expat family.
Then the Swedish social services system turned its eyes on my family.
Not because of abuse. Not because of neglect.
One of my kids insisted on being "decidedly American". He climbed trees, he was enthusiastic, he was proud of my military service, he would not stand in line if he couldn't determine a reason. He was the James Dean 'Rebel Without a Cause' archetype, despite our pleadings.
And in Sweden, that non-compliance simply would not do.
What we didn't know was that the Swedish Social Services system is engineered to view foreign families as disruptions to the social order if they are not "Swedish Enough" (their words).
Once you fall into their process, innocence and evidence do not matter.
All that matters is their internal bureaucratic logic.
If they decide you are a target, you are a target.
Swedish friends warned me that Social Services was the last holdout of hard-line Marxists who believed the doctrine of the "New Swedish Man" (Nya Svenska Man), where they could recreate people based on their social and political doctrines.
And because we were Americans during the first Trump Admin, pursuing us was considered "punching up".
Not because of abuse. Not because of neglect.
One of my kids insisted on being "decidedly American". He climbed trees, he was enthusiastic, he was proud of my military service, he would not stand in line if he couldn't determine a reason. He was the James Dean 'Rebel Without a Cause' archetype, despite our pleadings.
And in Sweden, that non-compliance simply would not do.
What we didn't know was that the Swedish Social Services system is engineered to view foreign families as disruptions to the social order if they are not "Swedish Enough" (their words).
Once you fall into their process, innocence and evidence do not matter.
All that matters is their internal bureaucratic logic.
If they decide you are a target, you are a target.
Swedish friends warned me that Social Services was the last holdout of hard-line Marxists who believed the doctrine of the "New Swedish Man" (Nya Svenska Man), where they could recreate people based on their social and political doctrines.
And because we were Americans during the first Trump Admin, pursuing us was considered "punching up".
We began to notice things. Strangers watching our house. Our kids would come home from school and tell us they were taken out of class in a room with strangers and talked for hours. But they couldn't remember about what. They were 1, 9, 11, and 13. But it was basically about if they were happy at home.
We started getting unexplained letters and visits from state employees. Teachers calling us, telling us that our kids wouldn't listen, would climb trees, put olives on their fingers at lunch, or go to the bathroom without asking. We were told it was "unusual".
We received a letter telling us to meet with state officials, so we did. The kids were taken and put in a room and interrogated (after being plied with juice and cookies).
We started getting unexplained letters and visits from state employees. Teachers calling us, telling us that our kids wouldn't listen, would climb trees, put olives on their fingers at lunch, or go to the bathroom without asking. We were told it was "unusual".
We received a letter telling us to meet with state officials, so we did. The kids were taken and put in a room and interrogated (after being plied with juice and cookies).
I started to get concerned and so asked if I could hire a lawyer to represent us in this foreign system. The Social Services authorities immediately chilled and then became hostile.
As an American, I assumed the right to have representation. After I retained a lawyer, he told me that it was one of the worst things I could have done, because they view legal retention as an admission of guilt.
I tried to explain to Social Services that in America, it is common to have a lawyer present to explain complex proceedings and defend rights. They told me that they will defend my children's rights. I asked them, "Who will defend their rights against you?"
This was met with outright hostility. I was told that THEY represent the best interests of children against the parents.
This is when I realized the situation was truly outside of my expertise.
As an American, I assumed the right to have representation. After I retained a lawyer, he told me that it was one of the worst things I could have done, because they view legal retention as an admission of guilt.
I tried to explain to Social Services that in America, it is common to have a lawyer present to explain complex proceedings and defend rights. They told me that they will defend my children's rights. I asked them, "Who will defend their rights against you?"
This was met with outright hostility. I was told that THEY represent the best interests of children against the parents.
This is when I realized the situation was truly outside of my expertise.
I want people to understand something.
The Swedish model is not neutral. The Social Services there is a state-level apparatus with little oversight.
What's more, over the decades, it has become an enforcement arm of the Social Democrats (the party that ruled Sweden for perhaps 50 years).
Imagine, if you will, that American Child Protective Services (CPS) were a federal agency and that the Democrat party had been able to use it to threaten and cudgel their political adversaries' families for decades.
How would that end up?
My lawyer warned me that once I was on the radar,
the administrative machine would not forget, nor forgive, and that no amount of money or legal representation would protect us.
He went on to say that he recommends to all expat families to either move back to their home country or have their company move them somewhere else because Social Services will seize children and there is little recourse in getting them back.
The Swedish model is not neutral. The Social Services there is a state-level apparatus with little oversight.
What's more, over the decades, it has become an enforcement arm of the Social Democrats (the party that ruled Sweden for perhaps 50 years).
Imagine, if you will, that American Child Protective Services (CPS) were a federal agency and that the Democrat party had been able to use it to threaten and cudgel their political adversaries' families for decades.
How would that end up?
My lawyer warned me that once I was on the radar,
the administrative machine would not forget, nor forgive, and that no amount of money or legal representation would protect us.
He went on to say that he recommends to all expat families to either move back to their home country or have their company move them somewhere else because Social Services will seize children and there is little recourse in getting them back.
I couldn't wrap my head around this. I contacted @StateDept in Stockholm and received boiler-plate response. Ultimately, I came upon a report by the Nordic Committee for Human Rights (NCHR) and started correspondence. They warned me that it was as bad as it seemed and the history of Nordic family destruction for political reasons is old. They sent me this: nkmr.org/docs/Summary_-…
NCHR told me to not expect much from the US State Department because "The State Department is not about to start WW3 with Sweden over some kids."
Nor was @awscloud interested in getting involved.
We were on our own.
NCHR told me to not expect much from the US State Department because "The State Department is not about to start WW3 with Sweden over some kids."
Nor was @awscloud interested in getting involved.
We were on our own.
Social Services told us to not try and flee back to the US as they would stop us. But @USMC taught me to plan for the Enemies Most Likely Course of Action as well as the Enemies Most Dangerous Course of Action.
As part of my job, I traveled in Europe a lot. So I had my lawyer ask Social Services if we could take our kids on a weekend cruise across the Baltic Sea for sightseeing. They approved it, but I was probing their oversight.
As part of my job, I traveled in Europe a lot. So I had my lawyer ask Social Services if we could take our kids on a weekend cruise across the Baltic Sea for sightseeing. They approved it, but I was probing their oversight.
Once our trip was complete, I set into motion policies with AWS that would protect me if we had to flee the Swedish State. I still hoped AWS would be able to find a new location to me or that my lawyer would be able to make the state see reason.
But I noticed the communication with state officers was becoming more hostile.
My son's teacher demanded that he receive a psych evaluation from a psychiatrist. We complied, and the psychiatrist held a meeting with us at the school. He said that our son was a normal, enthusiastic "decidedly American boy" with subclinical ADHD, which could be managed structurally at home and school.
He then turned to the teacher who was so hysterical about our son and told her that her oppressive behavior was "villainous". She started crying and yelled that our son was crazy because "children do not put olives on their fingers!".
The psychiatristhen turned to the principal and, as far as I could catch, in Swedish, told him he needed to educate and manage this teacher. The principal then asked the assistant teacher her thoughts, and she said she didn't think there was anything wrong with our son.
The main teacher freaked out. She was like a Stepford Wife robot who was being forced into a Mad Max scenario.
But I noticed the communication with state officers was becoming more hostile.
My son's teacher demanded that he receive a psych evaluation from a psychiatrist. We complied, and the psychiatrist held a meeting with us at the school. He said that our son was a normal, enthusiastic "decidedly American boy" with subclinical ADHD, which could be managed structurally at home and school.
He then turned to the teacher who was so hysterical about our son and told her that her oppressive behavior was "villainous". She started crying and yelled that our son was crazy because "children do not put olives on their fingers!".
The psychiatristhen turned to the principal and, as far as I could catch, in Swedish, told him he needed to educate and manage this teacher. The principal then asked the assistant teacher her thoughts, and she said she didn't think there was anything wrong with our son.
The main teacher freaked out. She was like a Stepford Wife robot who was being forced into a Mad Max scenario.
I thought that would resolve the issues.
I was wrong.
The teacher, a true believer, doubled down in her reporting to the Social Services. A major offense I was not aware of was that my middle son, Atlas, had told his class that I was a combat-deployed Marine and he was proud of my service.
For this Swedish liberal teacher and staff, this was unthinkable. They started interrogating him (his words) as to whether I was dangerous and if he was scared. He said he was not, but it was already decided:
A shock-trooper American could not raise children "the Swedish Way".
I was wrong.
The teacher, a true believer, doubled down in her reporting to the Social Services. A major offense I was not aware of was that my middle son, Atlas, had told his class that I was a combat-deployed Marine and he was proud of my service.
For this Swedish liberal teacher and staff, this was unthinkable. They started interrogating him (his words) as to whether I was dangerous and if he was scared. He said he was not, but it was already decided:
A shock-trooper American could not raise children "the Swedish Way".
In the week after my son informed me of this (My wife and I had asked him to inform us of any strange meetings because my lawyer had ordered that no meetings occur without a witness), my wife and I separately received overwhelming intuition that we needed to flee the country. As in, NOW.
She had been a personal trainer in the US and was working on a Swedish credential, and was really upset by what had been happening. Her coach asked her what was wrong and she told him all.
He and his assistant stopped everything and told her, "If you love your family, you need to leave this country. Tonight."
I called her immediately after this conversation took place.
She had been a personal trainer in the US and was working on a Swedish credential, and was really upset by what had been happening. Her coach asked her what was wrong and she told him all.
He and his assistant stopped everything and told her, "If you love your family, you need to leave this country. Tonight."
I called her immediately after this conversation took place.
Having already established that we could travel locally in Europe, I bought tickets from Copenhagen to London and London to Las Vegas (cheapest/soonest).
I coordinated with my buddy to take care of our dog till I could get this all sorted and the next morning at 5am, we went to T-Cental and caught a train to Copenhagen, paid in cash.
I coordinated with my buddy to take care of our dog till I could get this all sorted and the next morning at 5am, we went to T-Cental and caught a train to Copenhagen, paid in cash.
We got to Copenhagen international airport, and to my horror, I realized that my oldest son's passport was not with us. We had checked dozens of times.
I called my buddy and he went and checked our home. He found the passport in the bathroom. So I sent my wife and 3 youngest on the plane, rented a car, and drove 3 KPH under the speed limit all the way back to our house. I was not sure what would happen if state authorities checked my ID.
I got the passport and drove back to Copenhagen at a compliant, legal speed.
The tickets I had purchased were non-refundable. I was forced to buy new tickets, but this time to Phoenix, AZ.
I called my buddy and he went and checked our home. He found the passport in the bathroom. So I sent my wife and 3 youngest on the plane, rented a car, and drove 3 KPH under the speed limit all the way back to our house. I was not sure what would happen if state authorities checked my ID.
I got the passport and drove back to Copenhagen at a compliant, legal speed.
The tickets I had purchased were non-refundable. I was forced to buy new tickets, but this time to Phoenix, AZ.
My wife landed in Vegas after a stressful, dozen+ hour flight and was exhausted, but free. I had set it up so she could pick up a van, but her American driver's license had expired a month before.
Nevertheless, Hertz rental allowed her to rent. She drove down to Phoenix and picked us up.
Nevertheless, Hertz rental allowed her to rent. She drove down to Phoenix and picked us up.
We were reunited, my shieldmaiden and her illicit van, and now we had to figure out what to do next. I had a lot of money in accessible (thanks Amazon RSUs), and so decided to execute on our dream of buying land and building a homestead.
With our plan up till then executed, we decided what to do next. No way were we going back to Sweden.
I looked on craigslist and found a mint 38' RV for a great deal from an elderly couple. It had not been driven in 5 years and they said they would give me $5000 off if I could start it. I am pretty handy, so I assessed for spark, fuel, and air, and finally got it to turn over.
We now had a home on wheels. I got new brakes and tires and drove north to my father's grave. I needed to reset and commune with my father.
I still needed to wrap my mind around what happened.
I looked on craigslist and found a mint 38' RV for a great deal from an elderly couple. It had not been driven in 5 years and they said they would give me $5000 off if I could start it. I am pretty handy, so I assessed for spark, fuel, and air, and finally got it to turn over.
We now had a home on wheels. I got new brakes and tires and drove north to my father's grave. I needed to reset and commune with my father.
I still needed to wrap my mind around what happened.
That accomplished, we drove in a zigzag pattern from Arizona to Colorado, Utah, and finally Montana, where we found 30 acres, bought it cash (thank you Amazon RSUs), and set up life.
In the meantime, the day after we landed, my phone started blowing up with Swedish social services agents demanding to know where we were and demanding we bring our children to them.
I told one guy we were in the US and he yelled, "YOU WERE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT!"
I told him to eat shit and that we were never coming back because we were in THE LAND OF THE FREE.
Subsequently, our friends called and texted because Swedish authorities had raided the schools and even our friends' houses, demanding our location.
We were told this surveillance and jackboot tactics went on for weeks.
In the meantime, the day after we landed, my phone started blowing up with Swedish social services agents demanding to know where we were and demanding we bring our children to them.
I told one guy we were in the US and he yelled, "YOU WERE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT!"
I told him to eat shit and that we were never coming back because we were in THE LAND OF THE FREE.
Subsequently, our friends called and texted because Swedish authorities had raided the schools and even our friends' houses, demanding our location.
We were told this surveillance and jackboot tactics went on for weeks.
As said, we bought 30 acres where we set up a new life. I started a construction contracting company (the boomers are leaving the trades, and it is rich if you do it right) and finished a master's as a psychotherapist. I now do clinical work with high-conflict couples and high performers, not to mention niche construction contracts.
As for our dog, Avalanche, he is enormous. So big that we could not find anyone to send him to us. He ultimately placed him with a lady living in northern Sweden who had fled her abusive muslim husband (she was Swedish).
Avalanche can chomp violent men and not break a sweat.
But damn, is he missed.
Avalanche can chomp violent men and not break a sweat.
But damn, is he missed.
All in all, it cost me around $80,000 to get out of the country and get all of our stuff back. I suspect it cost me around $200,000 in lost revenues, having to stop everything on a dime and build a new life, house, and career.
But to be a man is to be responsible for all things.
But to be a man is to be responsible for all things.
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