Share this page!

Thread Reader is happy to present
an unrolled Twitter story with 86 tweets


Things our crushes make us do πŸ˜‚πŸ’”
Lemme share what happened, don't reply. (Thread)
Ok so everyone at home decided to go to a wedding & they left me with my lil bro (7)
The same nigga whom i sent to buy airtime and came back with sim cards. smh
I had a lil problem tho, My crush invited me to her place, she was home alone
I Tried Convincing her to come to my crib but she refused. I couldn't take my hommie with me so I had to make a plan
Fam I couldn't afford to stay at home and miss going to my crush's Crib Tf? Things where finally coming together.😊
I was on some "fuxk it tho this nigga is a grown ass, 7 years? Nah I'm living him alone"
I made him 4 meals, told him if he got hungry he'll run to the oven.

I left him sitting like:
Off to my crush's crib
I just got there. I called her and said I'm outside, she came out and opened the gate
You know the feeling you get when you get to be that close to your crush, acting all fresh
She never told me what she called me for but in my mind I had already made my own lit scenes 😍
Hehe i'm on some "Ladies first. Walking behind her, yall know how niggas react when they behind a fine lady
We got into the the house, fam she didn't waste any time. She was on some "follow me to my bedroom dear" πŸ˜€
I could hear love songs from the passage playing from her room.
In my mind I'm like "Damn it's about to get lit up in here" Lordt! 😍
We got to her room, and that time I'm already warming up like
Fam things changed real quick, she said "I just wanted you to help me move the furniture"

I was like:
Somehow I knew what I had imagined was too good to be true. Just like that fam, it was a thirst trap 😭😭😭
But because my mom raised a gentle brother I let it slide, helped her move the furniture πŸ˜…
After that she hit me with "Thanks a lot bestie, I'll see you around, bye!".

Tf? BESTIE?? 😭
Now I'm heading back home thinking I left my hommie alone, That time I was so defeated
Then I got home boom! Lil Nigg applied bleach on the couches, reason? He spilled his meal on the couch so he was trying to do damage control
Just when I thought I had suffered enough, I realised nigga burned mom's tupperware
How am I going to explain this mess? You know as a black child you can ruin anything but not your mom's Tupperware πŸ™†πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ
Family came back, just when I was about to explain lil nigga sold me out.
Told them that I left him alone the whole day
You don't wanna know what happened next πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚bye
This is what happened next (Thread)
It was around 18h00

My hommie just told my family that I left him alone the whole day
Moms was like "whaat? How could you do that?"

She further asked what was so important that I had to leave my Lil bro alone
I lied & said "My neighbor asked me to help her move the furniture so it took us the whole day"
I couldn't think of any better lie

However, She bought my story and said it's cool but next time I should take him with me
Note: She haven't seen what happened to the couches & tupperware
I was so relieved, thinking I've dodged the first bullet
Just when I thought everything was good

The neighbor whom I claimed I was helping came to see my family 😒
(We were in the kitchen)

She started off by greeting us & said "I'm so tired, I travelled the whole day can I have a glass of water?"
Fam from that second I knew I was a walking corpse
My mom was like "What? I thought you were busy moving the furniture the whole day with Pule"
My neighbour was so surprised, she literally laughed and denied everything
Just like that my mom realised I was lying to her 😭😭
She called my neighbour to the sitting room & said she will deal with me in a few
To make matters worse she saw that the couches were messed up when they got to the sitting room, but that was Just the beginning
Things escalated real quick when she accidentally saw her tupperware in the rubbish bin when she went to the kitchen
She looked at me and my hommie like
She then had a friendly chat with our visitor (the neighbour) meanwhile I was thinking about what's gonna happen next πŸ™†πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ
Around 18:30 the visitor decided to go
I was so surprised that she didn't yell at me the minute our neighbour left
That time I'm having conversations with myself on some "Did I survive? yes? no? find out on the next episode of dragon ball z"
Anyway, She was sitting next to her bag. She said "Pule come and pull this bag to my room, I'm tired son" with her soft voice 😍
Guess what happened when I got near her? 😭
Fam I broke Usain Bolt's record, 5 seconds was enough for me to get away as far as possible
A part of me knew It was a trap, But it was too late 😭
I stood away from her like
Seconds later I heard giggles out of nowhere, lil nigga was laughing at me. Yet I payed for his sins. TF?
I nearly cried. Like "whats happening to me today? What have I done to deserve all this in one day?"
Sharp I went to my room and let her cool off

I took a nap & woke up around 19:50
Then I decided to go and apologize but she was like
Okay that wasn't the best idea, I headed back to my room to sleep it off
20:45

Just when I was about to sleep I got an sms from my crush saying "Thanks a lot for today. Oh and you forgot your cap at my place"
If only she knew that I left it intentionally so that I can see her again
While we Still trying to make arrangements on how & when I can get my cap back, my nigga @f_me60 calls me
On some " ey bro let's go to this other event, I got tickets"
Man I needed that after that long day, Sleeping on a saturday night was out of my plans
I just had to make sure that none of my family members saw me going out
My nigg picked me up around 21:30 and we went to the event. I even forgot reply my crush after the call 😒
We got to the venue, crowded AF, good music playing, ladies & gents dressed to kill. Positive energy
The place was just lit. We checked around and bought few drinks

You won't believe what I was drinking πŸ˜‚ Let's leave that for another day
After some few minutes my nigg said he wants to go to the toilet

Off he went. Surprisingly nigga came back earlier than I had expected
"And then what's wrong my nigg?" I asked

"You mean what's right? I just saw your crush now, but i lost her in the crowd" he said
I Tried calling her, voicemail. The last message she sent to me was asking if I'm coming to the event
Fam I just had to activate my skills & find her
After minutes of haunting I finally found her

She was effortlessly good looking. Fam I was so shocked
As soon as she saw me she screamed my name and gave me a tight hug πŸ™ƒ
Suddenly a nigga claiming to be her bf pops out of nowhere and asks "Bro why are you hugging my Queen?"
I said "Correction, why is your Queen hugging me? If you have a problem ask her, not me"
Ya'll should've seen how hurt that guy was when the girl he calls his QUEEN said "I don't recognize you, Pule let's go I don't know him" 😎
Just when we tried to move, Nigga grabbed her and said "What do you think you're doing? She ain't going nowhere"
My nigga @f_me60 started to intervene. That nigga started being all aggressive, saying he'll beat us both. Imagine πŸ˜‚
That's when my nigga had enough of that guy, to cut long story short
Nigga didn't even fight back, apparently he was that girl's ex bf
At last we moved, Left that nigga complaining. I'm thinking "yaaas I got her" 😎
She said we must go and sit with her friends, when we got there we found this other guy sitting with her friends
That's when she hit me with "Oh Pule by the way, this is my real Bf. Not that other guy we met earlier. And those are my friends" TF? 😭
😭
😭
😭
😭
😭
😭
😭😭😭😭😭

I can still feel the pain like it was 5 seconds ago
I didn't even have any energy left in me to ask about my cap, She still has it to this day
Good night guys πŸ˜‚ Don't let your crushes play you
Did Thread Reader help you to today?
Buy the developer a 🍺 beer or help for the βš™οΈ server cost.
Donate with 😘 Paypal or Become a Patron 😍 on Patreon.com

Related: