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Thread by @ahmadsyauqie_: "How to move on from a crush A thread These are all merely my opinions based on what I've seen and experienced first hand either me being the […]"

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How to move on from a crush

A thread
These are all merely my opinions based on what I've seen and experienced first hand
either me being the one is the crush or the one about to get crushed lmao
I've read once that a crush only lasts for 3 months and if it's longer than that then it's "love"
I personally don't believe in that because I don't think love can be measured with time(?)
some people can fall in love in a month whereas in 1 year they're just still admiring their crush from afar without even thinking of love
For me I think that they're 2 types of crushes, liking someone you barely know and they barely know you or don't know you at all
These crushes are easy to get over because you don't have any correlations with them and if you just stay away from them
be it on socmed or irl and if you give it time then slowly but surely the feelings will go away eventually
If you really did like the person the admiration will still be there no doubt but it won't be as strong as it was initially
The second type of crush payah sikit lmao this is when you fall for someone who you've already established a relationship with
they may be a schoolmate or classmate, an acquaintance, and worst case imo a friend
I say worst case because if not handled properly you could lose a friend and sometimes that's more painful than losing a lover
so here are some tips that I think might help w getting over this kind of crush
1) similar to the first type of crush, keep your distance!! Especially if you hate the fact that you have a crush on the person
sometimes you dont truly "like" this person, ur merely so comfortable w them because you two spend so much time together and it makes u feel
soooooo happy and u get confused and ur like omg am I falling for her/him ???
in reality ur falling for the feeling the person gives u by being there with you, not the person herself/himself
if you distance urself for a bit and spend time w other people as well then u'll realize that that other ppl make u feel happy that way too
that's called friendship!! and it's normal for you to love your friends because they make you happy!!
2) Try not to tell others that you have a crush on this particular person, if less people know then it's easier to move on
especially for the friends yang suka kacau either to motivate you to go after them or yang cam "eh tu si atu ayyYyyyY" whenever u see them
if they keep bringing that person up then payah tu yo kan move on pecaya tah diri ani
3) think about it long term!! do you see yourself marrying this person? would you still love her if she's no longer young and beautiful??
this ones gonna get some mixed feedback but
4) get yourself hurt, painful but true. Sometimes we need to get slapped with reality to make us realize that we need to come to our senses
5) how to do this? Kurik kurik until u find out whether ur crush likes someone else or is not interested in you or in guys or girls or ppl
this will hurt, a lot, at first but when you rip off the bandage it will make the process of moving on easier because it gives u clarity
and remember what doesn't kill u makes u stronger, pain makes u stronger boys and girls
6) reevaluate y u find this person so attractive and kenapa kamu angaukan ia, is it because of looks saja? or because of the way they act?
and find out if you truly do like this person and whether or not you would be happy with just being friends
final tip is the hardest one and the one people are most reluctant to do, usually the last resort, in my case as well lol
7) confess!!! text the person, "hey I've always been afraid to say it but I think you are super cute and Ive had a crush on you for so long"
it sounds really hard and it is!! but by refraining yourself from confessing you are denying yourself from knowing the truth
when you confess there are two possible outcomes, either they feel the same way or they dont
If they like you then bam!! Alhamdulillah!! the person you like, likes you back!! Miraculous tho I wish it happened to me HAHAHA
in this case refer back to my thread about love not equivalent to owning, rather than moving on you move forward ayy
If they don't like you then most cases you feel like nada harapan and you have to move on, this takes a lot of focusing on self development
that relates to heart break and back to the previous point of getting yourself hurt for the better
I honestly do advise to confess if u really do want to move on from ur crush because by not confessing your feeding yourself with illusions
u start to angau berabis and daydream all day about them and u obsess over them, stalk them on socmed trying to find non existent hints
You think about the prospect of them liking you back and how fun it would be to talk to each other like lovers etc etc
awal awal siuk pulang rasanya but as time passed by u will start to feel uneasy and that's what made u read this thread
I'd like to end this with a quote from Imam Syaf'ie,
"The heart is only called the heart because of its rapid change."
don't feel at a loss because ur hung up over a crush
ur niat to move on is already the first step because it shows ur ready to put yourself first before anyone else and dats wat truly matters 🙆
explanation of the quote!!!!! this why I think Arabic language itself is an art
ADDITIONAL POINT: dont continue to hurt yourself when u find out that ur crush suka someone else by stalking them both, that pain nada pedah
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