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A lot of straight men don't seem to understand there's a difference between an unwanted pass & sexual harassment. >
And I can kind of understand that that might be confusing, so let explain this, briefly: >
A pass is where a man says to a woman over whom he has no power or suggestion of power, "hey, do you fancy grabbing a coffee?" >
while in a setting where, even if he wanted to, he couldn't rape her. >
Sexual harassment is when you say that while meeting one or more of the following conditions:
-your dick is out
-you are her boss
-you are in her workplace
-it wasn't so much 'do you fancy a coffee,' as 'sit on my face'
-she's a lot younger than you
-you are standing between her and the door
-you have the ear of her boss
-you have pinned her against a wall
-you touched or kissed her AT ALL before asking >
-you asked and she did a nervous laugh and said 'maybe some other time' & now this is the 8th time you've asked and just stop ffs
-you asked and she didn't go "fuck yes, can we go now?" and you went ahead anyway
-she is v drunk/high
-you are v drunk/high
And finally, and this is a
***BIG ONE:***
-you are currently in a situation where, if you wanted to, you could rape her >
(this massively affects whether women will say 'no' to you directly, or hedge all around the houses trying not to say 'no' >
because quite often when we say 'no', men go ahead and rape or beat us, or set about destroying our credibility within our social circle. >
THIS IS A REAL THING and it affects how we interact with you *almost all the time*)

Ladies, feel free to add your own.
A protected account friend has pointed out that men buying our drinks & then abusing our feeling of obligation often gets v ugly.
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