Fire Departments are holding Americans back"
Everyone has faucets. Use them"
Did we go clogging up public phone lines?
We used a fire extinguisher."
Let's eliminate Fire Departments, use a fraction of that money to give everyone vouchers for one fire extinguisher and a 2 hour class on fire safety."
Do something, anything to take charge of your life. Don't whine and call the Fire Dept"
But aside from lightning, fires are all the product of poor life choices"