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Thread by @mostlybree: "Still thinking about this article. There's been a lot of discussion about the intersection of romance and how we discuss consent and I've st […]"

, 6 tweets, 2 min read
Still thinking about this article. There's been a lot of discussion about the intersection of romance and how we discuss consent and I've stayed mostly out because it's raw and I don't have energy to be yelled at while on deadline.
But one criticism of romance that will not die is ~unrealistic expectations~ like there's any chance that women will be allowed to forget for a second that society scoffs at the idea that we should enthusiasticly enjoy awesome sex instead of capitulate and endure.
Being told sex shouldn't be good and maybe we are bad if we pursue it too much is the resting state. Being mocked for getting too upset over a "bad date" with some "bad sex" is ubiquitous.
Romance novels' big crime isn't giving women unrealistic expectations. It's just... giving them expectations. And we're not supposed to have those because they are very inconvenient for the people who have never been forced to reckon with our humanity or our inner lives.
And this is why I can be mad at romance that reinforces society's negative messages while ALSO being mad at society for acting like romance readers are lost in an unrealistic fairy tale.
Because romance that reinforces misogyny is joining the chorus of voices shouting at us to be small.

Romance that tells us we deserve something better is shouting back.
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