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Delilah S. Dawson @DelilahSDawson
, 15 tweets, 5 min read Read on Twitter
Oh, my friends. 99% of the time, I can smile politely when strangers want to chat about Star Wars. I do not engage. I do not let on my deep roots or my current involvement. But tonight, when a cashier tried to geeksplain me, I LET THE NEXU CAT CLAWS OUT.
I was buying a BB-8 lanyard-- for the Disney cruise I'll be on as a guest speaker for Star Wars Day at Sea next week-- and the cashier said, "This is not the droid you're looking for." And I said, "I assure you that it is." And he said, "Well, do you know what that's from?"
So I said, "A New Hope."
And he said, "No. Star Wars."
So I said, "A New Hope is the name of the first Star Wars movie." And he said, "Well, actually, The Phantom Menace is the first Star Wars movie," and then I was like
me: I was going linear, but okay.
him: Did you see it?
me: Yeah, I've seen every Star Wars movie in the theater. Multiple times.
him: Even the new ones?
me: Yep.
him: Oh. I haven't seen them.
me:
him: I hear a lot of people didn't like the new Star Wars movies.
me: *tight, painful smile* Sure, a certain vocal part of the fandom seems to have some problems with them.
him: Mainly, because Rey should've been a Skywalker.
me:
me: No, she really shouldn't have been a Skywalker. Not everyone in the galaxy is a scion of royalty.
him: Okay, not a Skywalker, but at least Qui-Gon Jinn or Obi Wan Kenobi-- you know who they are, right?
me: ...yes. And they didn't have kids.
him: But they could have.
me:
me: But they didn't.
him: But they were Gray Jedi.
me: Qui-Gon was Gray because he didn't follow the Council's edicts, not because he was banging space babes. And Obi Wan... wasn't Gray.
him:
So, sidebar:
1. I can't leave. He is literally bagging my groceries.
2. He is bagging my groceries with my Old Luke bag, my BB-8 bag, my Phasma bag, my Rey bag, and my YET ANOTHER BB-8 BAG.
3. He is putting a new Star Wars shirt into the Star Wars bag.
him: But she has to be somebody's daughter.
me: She is. Her parents were space trash who traded her for drinking money. They're buried in a pauper's grave on Jakku.
him: But she has to be SOMEBODY.
me: SHE IS SOMEBODY. SHE IS THE LAST GODDAMN JEDI. IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE TITLE.
Mind you, I was not actually shouting. I tend to get rigid and quiet with a tight smile during confrontations--and this began to feel like a confrontation. Dude stopped scanning my groceries while he talked. But the CAPSLOCK is how I felt, as is the gif of Rey being tortured.
him: That might not be what the title means.
me: If you saw the movie, you'd know that it *was*.
him: But the whole point of Star Wars is that--
me: The whole point of the current trilogy is that failure is real and not everything goes to plan, but you've gotta keep trying.
him:
And then I started shoving my own groceries into my Star Wars reusable bags because I was DONE. I mean, I get that everyone has feelings about Star Wars, but if you're gonna make me talk about it, at least watch the dang movies before you toss hot takes at me.
I'm seeing some responses that folks- including some Rian Johnson dude?- believe Luke is The Last Jedi. In between Rey being trained by Luke and taking the ancient Jedi texts from Ahch-To, I felt like it was her, but that's cool. Still, WATCH THE DANG MOVIE BEFORE ARGUING.
End result: I thanked him and wished him a nice night and left with my Star Wars bags filled with Star Wars products. I never want anyone to walk away from a convo with me about Star Wars feeling bad, and I never bring up my connection to canon. But I will tell you, because DANG.
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