while i have some times and spoons, let me do the final fantasy thread.

let me give you a soundtrack for it, k?

when i was a pre-teen to teen, i was massively into d&d/ad&d. i am still but that's beside the point. fact is i love fantasy role playing games, tabletop or pc.

way back when, but later than that, my family got a nes.

shocker: i spent most of my time playing legend of zelda.
a little later, i discovered my local video store did game rentals. this was kinda cool, and i got to try out a bunch of stuff.

one of them was the original final fantasy.
it was really unlike any game i had played to date. while a game like zelda is called an arpg these days, back then it was...really what i figured a rpc on a game system would be.

final fantasy upended that with more creativity, more depth, and more variety than i expected.
i mean yeah, but...consider 1987. this was the first time i got to travel to towns in a game...have defined chapters and quests...have a sense of really changing a world as i explored.

i was awestruck.

and hooked.

to the point that i considered 'losing' the game cart.
i didn't...but i was never able to find another copy anywhere to buy.

it was a bummer.

but i rented it every time i could.

~~//\\~~

a few years later, we got an snes.

and i discovered that there was a game for it called final fantasy iii.

i was...i had a holy mission.
i was going to find a cart, i was going to buy it, and i'd never have to give it up ever.

so i started searching. calling game stores. an ever widening radius.

no one had it.

no one could get it either.

most people would give up.

i was not most people.
i finally found a copy.

in another state.

one single copy.

which they wouldn't put a hold on for me.

and i had no credit card, nor would they take an order over the phone.

so i made a logical choice.

i got in the car and drove two plus hours for it that day.
my ex spouse thought i was...acting illogically.

i didn't care.

i got my copy.

and all was right with the world.
...i mean...till half way through the game.
from here on out it got so much easier to get the games.

for one, we had a playstation.

and i was able to keep up on things.

so i soon had ff vii...which was different, but neat. and i played it some.

i played it more on pc...and i have yet to beat it because...
...well, because i got pissed off at a particular event in the game and went 'fuck you square i hate you.'

(but i have it on pc now and i will beat it)

ff viii was...not my game. my ex loved it. so i watched a lot. i just never got into it, and i kinda figured...
...i'd moved on to things like diablo, and the whole grimdark thing cos i was EDGY...

and maybe ff was not really my cuppa anymore.

~~//\\~~

then final fantasy ix came out.

and it was everything i loved about the first one and the third one (which turned out to be 6 ofc)...
i fell in love with the characters.

and the setting.

and the story.

and i was, once again, hooked through the nose.

i played hundreds of hours on it. much like the other two i keep coming back to.

it was just...a wonderful escape.
final fantasy x did little for me...while i loved auron and lulu, tidus just irritated me to the point of loathing.

but x-2? whole nother can of beans.

ofc by this time i was mostly through figuring out and accepting things, but...the whole game was FUN.
and, like my post last night...paine.

you know.

wanted to be her so bad.

so yeah, i played it a LOT, which led to a lot of ridicule from someone because 'why do you want to play as a girl all the time?'

also yeah.

i tried to deal, but it was tough, you know.
i had no interest at the time of playing an mmo, so xi was one i kinda just ignored. i kind of regret it, but i think it's at a point where i don't think i could check it out.

i never got 12, sadly...at that point things irl were turning into a real mess...
and 13 was a ps3 game and at the time i just couldn't afford a console.

(and even if i could, i know the money i'd have put aside would have been taken for someone to take a 'business trip' out of state. quotes intentional)
xiv was another mmo, and by that time i was already 2 years in to playing wow. and xv is only just out in the last year or two.

so there was a decent...many years in there i was out of touch with the series, tho i read about it all the time.
in the last year or two, thanks to finally biting the bullet and getting a steam account, i've started filling in the holes.

i have vi again, even if the port sprites are...redone.

and i have vii, and am awaiting the remake as well.

@ConfusedSwitch got me viii
ix was the first one i bought as soon as i got on steam, and i'm back into x-2 as if the past 15 years hadn't been a thing.

almost all the missing games...missing to me...are on my wishlist...

iv
iv the after years
v
xii
the xiii series
i planned on skipping xv for...reasons.

then this morning i discovered there was an anime made for the game, which went into character back story.

i figured i owed it to myself to at least watch.

an hour later, and 4 bouts of tears...

i added it to the list.
so i've been playing the final fantasy games for well over twenty years, across 5 platforms.

they introduced me to deeper crpgs, ones closer to what i was used to on tabletop.

they broke my heart dozens of times (aerith, the midpoint of vi, vivi just to name a few).
they gave me worlds i wanted to be in, characters i loved and wanted to hang with or be.

they game me escape into other worlds, where i could forget my hurt for a while and just...be someone else...an avatar of who i wished to be, maybe.
and, of any game series/system/whatever, they're the ones i know i'll play until they stop making them...and then just continue to love them and replay them as long as i can.

so there.

your potted history of julie's life with final fantasy.

thanks for reading.
here...

have some more music.

<3

shantih shantih shantih

93s

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