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Alberta Pro-choice @ABprochoice
, 14 tweets, 13 min read Read on Twitter
We understand #UCP has concerns over #Bill9 and would like to offer members a new service.

We know that men don't always make the best health choices and not everyone has a wife to guide him. In light of this, we are introducing: #RandomOpinions on #UCPhealth

Our office:
Alberta Life Loving Ladies Interested in Erectile Syndromes (ALLLIES). We want you to know: We are your ALLLIES!

We promise to encourage honking as you go discuss unplanned drooping with your erectile specialist. We also have a Men's Health office!
#bill9 #abpoli
At ALLLIES, we have several volunteers with their own opinions on men's health. They tell us there is a breast cancer link (not backed by the Cancer Society) but they could be right! Better safe than snipped.

It is not too late to leave your junk alone.
#bill9 #abpoli
We know that men may have a moment of weakness, so we at ALLLIES will send concerned parties to observe and possibly inform your family, friends, neighbours, even strangers walking by the clinic.

#bill9 #abpoli
At ALLLIES, we will have a database (with pictures) of men with repeat erectile issues. At some point we will link our database with online dating sites. Because we are not bound by HIA, FOIP or any Health Privacy Acts, this is ALL LEGAL!
#bill9 #abpoli
At ALLLIES, we know that all life matters. That is why we send volunteers to your local high school to remind youth of the need to stop #TubeSockGenocide

#EverySpermIsSacred and it is time we did something about it.

#bill9 #abpoli
We have had a request to send an ALLLIES team to summer camp. The carnage! #IdleHands are #TheDevilsWorkshop

We must end #TubeSockGenocide

We have ladders because we know that sometimes men's health clinics will prevent our witnessing. ALLLIES will go to any lengths to protect your health.

We understand that some men misuse Viagra and send unsolicited pictures of their unmentionables.
Doctors and pharmacists providing Viagra in rural and northern communities have to do so secretly because some people are very angry about it.
#UCPhealth #bill9
Some people even claim that Viagra cannot be prescribed in rural and northern communities because they have to travel long distances for heart surgery. Why should men get special treatment?

#UCPhealth #bill9
3 million Canadian men over 40 (almost 50%) suffer from erectile dysfunction. We are sensitive to your pain. That is why we post trigger warnings before we show our pictures.
#bill9 #UCPhealth
ALLLIES has their own research body called de VeBRRRRRRRR that informs us on all things #UCPhealth.

de VeBRRRRRRRR tells us it is not erectile dysfunction, it is just cold in Canada. Nothing is up. Not even the thermometer. #MakeViagraUnthinkable
ALLLIES plans to show informative erectile dysfunction pictures to campuses across the country as we take steps to #MakeViagraUnthinkable. Remember men, even mighty trees are made limp by the Canadian cold.
#bill9 #UCPhealth
ALLLIES is prepared for the 160 M #bubblezone from health provider's homes. We have camouflage. Nothing will stop us from keeping Alberta men safe from immoral Viagra use.

#MakeViagraUnthinkable #UCPhealth #bill9
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