The drunk tweeting nominations have been made, seconded and thirded
So tonight we will commence the evening's literary activity of drunk-tweeting through the Comey book!
Like the head of the FBI ain't never heard of COINTELPRO
You all will deal with my colored pens instead I presume
BE NICE TO THE DAMN HOST.
You know, the guy who's no expert who is apparently writing a book on the subject anyway?
Literally do any of you know what this means
However nice you are to hosts and doorpeople, double it please, they work so hard)
And apparently Comey never walked them. He's talking about riding past the Archives.
But it's still damn weird.
But also given his position we should read the remainder of the book.
Let's just go with that as provable reality or whatever
*Pings literally all of my protest fam*
What person who knows the St Crispin's Day speech doesn't know the Shakespeare reference
But if you're pointing people to the speech why would you not name the play, I'm confused
Just some dude wondering WTF
Did nobody tell Comey about Hoover
Because that would explain basically the whole introduction to this book
I have another drink and appreciate all of you who have thus far contributed to the bar tab at paypal.me/riseandbeheard because dear hot damn I ain't gonna make it through this sober
And you know, when I think of things an FBI Director might think of as credible I think of Sammy Gravano, amirite
My bad I forget who's credible and not by FBI lights
Like, materially, I assume Cosa Nostra doesn't make you do a group cheer at 8AM, which is actually an improvement?
We'll pick this up in some hours
So this isn't a thing I talk about a lot but I don't hear well. Which means that if I'm in the seventh row of a book event and there's no mic I literally can't hear a damn thing
I assume this author is very smart and all but I'll never know cause I can't hear them
Let us delve back into the time James Comey had some armed robber break into his house as a kid
And what the fuck Chicago, it ain't a weekend
Who did you book that was worth this
And hey let's not discount the impact of an armed robbery on a kid here
But I do wonder how many kids face that and never get to run the FBI
This clearly is the setup for "then I was the head of the FBI"
IT IS TIME TO READ MORE COMEY!
The liquor has kicked in
But let's not forget what the FBI actually does and who it targets and who's most often hurt by it shall we
Your reminder that if you don't know COINTELPRO you should hit the google
Dystopian hellscape, anyone?
WHY IS EVERYONE CONCERNED WITH EXCELLENCE
DO CORPORATIONS NOT KNOW WHAT THESAURUSES ARE
I tweet for y'all that get me)
What do you mean set a tone
It's a cotton poly blend with buttons man not the magna carta
1. Is it wrinkled
2. Does it fit today
If both 1 and 2 pass muster put on the clothes
Like that's how I get dressed to go on hbo or msnbc
Nope nope nope
OKAY. I did three shots of bourbon and we are commencing chapter nine
The whole fucking point is that those "positive, professional encounters" are with white people
That is the whole fucking point
My dude they weren't just tragic they were murder. Active murder.
The heavily armed people bearing the full weight of the law behind them don't feel "appreciated"
Ok so a few damn things here
No literally two pages ago dude was talking about systemic racism in policing and now this appreciation shit
I was told good guys with guns were the solution and now you're telling me they're shaking and that you think they need arms?
That's where he went for this
Obama pulls him in to explain very gently why he fucked it up
The cops straight up walked in and before saying anything else told us all they're wearing cameras and recording
I mean ok Chicago protocol
If you care to buy me a drink and keep me on this path you feel free, what a weird ass night, PayPal.me/riseandbeheard
I kinda love middle aged Greek dudes who think I need soothing on the basis of being a youngish woman
I'm white as bone so I don't know what this actually means but imagine being the president of the united motherfucking states and having to bring a dude into your office who heads the FBI and explain this to him
I have found it
The whitest sentence ever published by a major house
Ok so for y'all who are new here I went to high school with literal Nazis. I'm from the sticks. I really thought I had previously properly called peak white shit AND THEN I TURNED THE PAGE WHAT THE FUCK
For a whole page
Save me white Jesus because wut
This fucker sat across from Obama and explained that "mass incarceration" was a hurtful term to law enforcement
What the shit lana
Who edited this
Which means we're over halfway and also that this shit is definitely gone be at least a three day if not four
There's been cops and cramps and I've put in my hours today
It's a gorgeous spring day in Chicago and I have found a park with a gentle breeze and gamboling dogs
We carry on reading, with the bourbon in my briefcase as company!
And then we pivoted to Edward Snowden because sure why not
Chapter ten is 2016.
Also I am no fan of hillary but my dude here has put together just a spectacular set of sentences:
I don't lawyer but surely this would make it actually inappropriate to meet?
So maybe four or five grains of salt from here
that's how I came to understand the term "take the name out of your mouth"
Why would you assume anything on an issue of this much importance
And why would you not clarify when you were writing this book
And why did no editor or fact checker catch this
And he's very into precise language and always doing the right thing, says the rest of the book
I wonder if he understands how much of himself he is showing here
ZERO SELF AWARENESS
PayPal.me/riseandbeheard whenever you fair folk like
This is the weeds of which department should investigate things
Buy this book if you're interested in a lawyer's justification for his hugely relevant actions that he wants to obfuscate
If I was sober I would think I had heard some earlier reference to this, only there wasn't one so what the fuck
Hello new through line?
Where earlier did you note this
This is worth whole paragraphs. But hey people meet with people all the time and why is anyone worried
So what the fuck with your rare here
And what a sentence
Also I am here for Comey getting catty about Trump
We have made it to the last chapter
Your reminder that should you care to contribute to the cause you can do so at PayPal.me/riseandbeheard and it's appreciated cause I ain't doing this sober