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Lux 🤖🤠 Alptraum @LuxAlptraum
, 15 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Every time I read about violent, self righteous incels I get furious, because *plenty of women spend their lives feeling unfuckable*, but instead of being taught that the world owes them sex they're taught to think they're just worthless people.
I didn't start dating anyone until I graduated high school (which, by the way, is TOTALLY NORMAL but didn't feel that way at the time), and I spent a lot of time feeling completely, totally broken. I had a lot of anger about my loneliness, but I *internalized it*.
I know what it's like to feel like everyone else is off in the world doing normal sex things while you're forever alone. But women who feel that way rarely seem to see those feelings as justifications to take our anger out on strangers and the world at large.
It's not that it's "easier" for women to get laid (as incel men all seem to think). The difference is that men are taught that the world owes them sex and love, and women are taught that sex and love are a reward you get for shaping yourself into someone worthy of love.
After the Elliot Rodger shooting I wrote a piece about this for Nerve (it's since been scrubbed from the internet along with all the rest of Nerve but lives on on archive.org: web.archive.org/web/2014060210…)
The more we erase the stories and experiences of lonely women who feel unattractive, unloveable, and undateable, the more we prop up the bullshit rhetoric of the "wronged man" that fuels these mass murdering assholes.
Just a heads up it looks like I may be writing a piece about this topic, so if you're a woman (or, really, just not a straight cis man) who has had an extended period of feeling unfuckable/undateable/"involuntarily celibate" and wants to share your story, pls DM/email me.
Also, just some points of reference: Elliot Rodger was *22* when he went on his shooting spree. Alek Minassian was *25*. Do you know how many people I know who didn't date or have sex until their late twenties or even thirties? Because... it's not a small number.
PS If you found this thread valuable, feel free to show me some love. paypal.me/luxalptraum
An addendum just to address some of the comments I've seen in response to this thread:

I think it's important to acknowledge that when people of any gender say, "No one will ever have sex with me" what they're usually expressing is a *feeling*, not a fact.
Because, if we want to look at facts, pretty much anyone can find *someone* to have sex with if just having sex is their priority (that's kind of the point of sex work). But people aren't actually saying, "It's a complete impossibility that my genitals will touch someone else's."
What they're saying is that, "I cannot get access to sex under the terms that I deem acceptable and 'normal.'" Maybe that means, "No one I like likes me back," or "Women will not submit to me just because I say they're pretty."
But generally speaking it's a sense of disconnect between the reality of sex and dating and our fantasy of how it should unfold. And that sense of disconnect, that *feeling*, is pretty universal across genders.
PPS I really want to thank *everyone* who has reached out to me for the story I'm writing. My DM inbox has *exploded* but I'm going to do my best to respond to all of you (who've definitely confirmed the need for this story!).
PPPS Over 150 people have directly messaged me wanting to talk, so, yeah, if this resonated with you, *you are not alone.* (And also I'm so so sorry to anyone I'm not able to respond to!)
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