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Sam 'The🐰FOO' Janney @PolitiBunny
, 251 tweets, 15 min read Read on Twitter
Ok, here goes.

For every one 'like' this tweet gets I'll write one tweet celebrating men - I think we read enough nonsense that cuts them down.

Now, if you crazy people go over 100 it'll take time ... but let's see what we can do FOR MEN. :)

You bastards.

1. Men are natural protectors and defenders.
2. Men are fathers, and without fathers, our families aren't quite ever whole.
3. Men have gone to war to protect this country for over 200 years - yeah yeah, I know, women fight too (God bless 'em), but being that's a recent development ... men are warriors.
4. Men are naturally leaner and stronger than women. #SorryNotSorry
5. Men can grow beards, and beards kick ass.
6. Men make the best friends ... true story. I rarely get along with women (like a handful) but I have several good male friends. They're respectful, honest and always have my back.
7. Good guys ...
15. There are lots and lots more ... men make the best friends.
16. Men kill spiders.
17. Men do most of the hardest and dirtiest jobs in this country
18. Men take a LOT of shit for just being men ... and they put up with it better than any woman ever would.
19. Men should not be punished for having equal rights.
20. Men smell good ... usually.
21. Most gay men ROCK. #SorryNotSorry
22. Men feel safe. I don't know how else to explain that, they just do.
23. Men are big and little brothers and if you've ever had one or the other, you know how awesome this is.
24. Men have great legs.
25. Men don't hold grudges.
26. Men don't talk shit about your new haircut behind your back.
27. Men are ready on time.
28. Men are smartasses who 'liked' my original tweet just to spite me ... God bless 'em they're so damn cool.
29. Men have the best sense of humor, it's really hard to offend them. Unless it's some guy who uses a giant block list like Wil Wheaton, who really needs to grow a pair.
30. Han Solo
31. Jesus was a dude. (ok, that one will freak some people out but he was) lol
33. Men are good to shop with.
34. Tim Allen
35. Men tell the best jokes.
36. Men are seriously the only group in this world that is ok to make fun of, and they take it in stride.
37. Bill Murray
38. The Founding Fathers were all men ... although
39. You bastards, I knew you'd do this. Just another reason I adore men. Well, most of you. Some of you can go.
40. Men are furry. And fur is soft.
41. Some of our greatest thinkers were men: Einstein, Socrates, Adam Sandler ...
42. Men still hold the door for you, even if you don't appreciate it.
43. Men can be very patient and understanding.
44. Men have been very gracious and appreciative of my efforts.
45. Ben Shapiro
47. My husband.
48. My son
49. Father Kevin who not only performed my wedding but remains a wonderful friend.
50. Men like meat.
52. ROFL
253. Men aren't picky about the details.
254. Men don't count every little tweet. They don't have time for that because they're too busy being awesome.
300. Men don't get bogged down with compliments about how awesome they are just being men.
301. Men bring your lunch, even when you don't ask for it.
302. Men appreciate when women take care of themselves.
303. Holy crap, how many more of these things do I have to write?
304. Men are smartasses. Did I say that already?
350. Men often surpass expectations... especially at the prospect of attention from a woman.
351. Men can reach things on high shelves.
352. Men have big hands.
353. Men appreciate a good fart joke.
354. Men won't pretend to be your friend to your face so he can stab you in the back and run off with your ... man.

Wait, that one didnt' work so well.
355. Ash Williams
356. Hail to the King, baby.
357. All four Ghostbusters IN THE ORIGINAL AND BETTER MOVIE were men.
358. Men have great thighs.
375. Men look great in glasses.
376. You're not the boss of me, I'll count how I want.
380. Men call you out on your BS ...
400. There's nothing like being held by a man when you've had a bad day. And extra bonus if he also strokes your hair and kisses your forehead.
401. Men are very smart.
402. Men like to feed you well.

403. Men let you have the remote (with minimal wrestling).

404. Men don't steal the blankets.

405. Men sit through a movie that's 2 hours, 6 car chases, 9 explosions, 26 bodies and a helicopter crash and tell you they loved it.
406. Men are like waffles. It’s hard to Lego.
407. For every man that does something bad there are 10,000 that are hard working, provide for, protect, and care for their families and/or loved ones.
408. Men always seem to die faster in zombie movies - hey man, thanks for the assist ;)
409. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Men know.
410. Men can single-handedly stop climate change ... granted it doesn’t really exist but still, this looks cool.
411. Men will go under the house (😳😳) to fix a leak. Thanks, men!
412. Men are manly. I just like men. With all of the bad men out there there are even more good men. I like chivalrous men who defend their ladies and protect their families and occasionally protect strangers. I especially love manly men who love animals.
420. Men's hot blooded feet keep freezing cold feet warm at night
421. Men clean the snow off your car in the winter
422. Men bring you coffee.
423. Men put gas in your car.
424. Men remind you to get your oil changed.
425. Men hold you hand in the movie theater.
426. Men remind you not to take things too seriously.
450. Men appreciate our kisses and hugs.
451. Men are the gangsters of love.
452. Men rock suits.
453. Men usually pick up the check.
454. Casey Mattox
455. Jesse Kelly
456. Howe brothers
457. Men change your wiper blades.
458. Men clean the gunk out of the drain.
459. When men hug you, they completely envelope you in warmth.
460. Men mow lawns.

461. Men will be your pockets when you have none - I love his one.
462. Men spray the house for bugs.
463. Men have stronger hands = better foot rubs
464. Men listen to you complain about that whore you hate at work.
465. Men come up with Dad jokes then tell them with zero shame.
466. Men fart and blame it on the nearest animal.
467. Men will explain the rules of football over and over and over again.
468. Men hold your hair when you puke.
469. Men stay by your side when you’re having a baby - my husband held my hand the entire tone.
470. Men go first in a haunted house.
471. Men send flowers.
472. Men are incredibly good sports.
473. Men will tell you over and over again that your ass doesn’t look fat in those pants ... even if it does.
474. Men take up less than a quarter of the suitcase when youre sharing one.

475. Baby men don't have to sit in the nasty public bathroom to pee, making their mother's job way easier.

476. You can always borrow men’s clothes. Not so much vice versa
477. Some men smell of old leather, tobacco and a hint of musk
478. Men are low maintenance.
479. Mendo amazing cannonballs at the pool.
480. Men will usually help you get or put away your carry-on from the overhead bin.
481. A good deal of truck drivers are men, and this country would literally stop if they weren't on the road nearly 365 days of the year.
482. Men take out the trash.
483. Men will watch old reruns of Bonanza with you over and over again.
484. Men don't take any shit.
485. Hauling trusses, new cars, or towing a wreck, a man is driving it. Need a roof, a new mailbox, a toilet, is your power out, building a house, a high-rise, or a bridge, need a tire changed in the rain in Detroit at night, help w/ a flood, a fire, a sink hole? Call a man.
486. Men like Johnny Cash.
487. Men smoke cigars.
488. Doug Powers @ThePowersThatBe
489. Greg Pollowitz @GPollowitz
490. Brit Hume
491. Men shovel the snow.
492. Men help you find your keys.
493. Men help you find your cell phone.
494. REAL men read Twitchy
495. Men drive in the dark when you can't see.
496. Men take you fishing.
497. Men give up the majority of the couch so you can lie down.
498. Men are good sports on Twitter and help me remind the world why we should stop saying mean things about them.
499. Men raise men.
500. Men hold your hand during an epidural.
501. Men cut you some slack when you've reached 500 tweets even though you may have skipped some tweets here and there because YOU'RE ONLY HUMAN DAMMIT and writing hundreds of tweets even for an old timer like you is really freakin' hard.
502. Men have foresight.
503. Men bring Japanese food home when you've worked all day writing a bunch of stuff and don't feel like cooking.
504. Men take you to see movies they don't really want to see and will always stand in line to get you popcorn.
505. Men laugh at your jokes, even if they're not funny.
506. Men do the dishes. (my man does)
507. Men vacuum.
508. Men clean the bathroom.
509. Men laugh when YOU fart.
510. Men let you have the garage.
511. Men raise their daughters to be strong and indepedent daddy's girls.
512. Men are great at opening jars 💪🏼
550. Men do the jobs we as women don't want to do like unclog the plumbing take out trash kill bugs and throw out dead creatures.
551. Men look the other way when you skip a few tweets
552. No seriously, look away.
553. Don't you judge me!
554. I'll count how I want.
555. Santa Claus is a man.
556. Men are also good for finding the monsters under the bed
& when necessary, beat said beasties so thoroughly that they promise never to return & apologize for being scary
557. Men move heavy furniture.
558. Men cheer crazy women who forget they have nearly 73k followers on who make even crazier promises to tweet for every one like.
559. Men watch Star Wars.
560. Men watch Star Trek.
561. Men take you to the Emergency Room when your water ruptures at 26 weeks and holds your hand as the doctors tell you that you'll spend the rest of your pregnancy in the hospital.

Just guessing this happens ...
562. Men check when there's a weird noise in the house.
563. Men don't give up on you.
564. Men rub your shoulders and read through your crazy thread when they get home from work and laugh that you were dorky enough to do this in the first place.
565. Then that man laughs because you just wrote about him.
566. Men make awesome barbeque.
567. Men ran into the towers on 9/11.
600. Men are looking the other way as I jump ahead magically in numbers again ... because they know even a crazy-woman like me can only write so many tweets.
601. This is the thread that never ends ... yes it goes on and on about men ...
602. They're coming to take me away, ha ha ... just kidding.

603. Men is spelled m-e-n.
604. Men will buy you a beer.
605. Men appreciate real women.
606. Men will get you a tissue when you watch Terms of Endearment for the 100th time.
607. Men will take your picture but ONLY from the angle you want them to.
608. Men is the plural of man.
609. Guy Benson
620. Matt Vespa
621. Chad @chadfelixg
622. Men are probably getting bored of these tweets by now. Except for the snarky ones who liked this just to make me write thousands of tweets.
623. Men, amirite ladies?
624. Men can pee their name in the snow.
625. Men love their mothers.
626. Men don’t need anyone’s approval to be themselves.
627. Men will sit on the front porch drinking bourbon with you and make fun of the neighbors.
628. Men take the new puppy to obedience training.
700. Men will always go with you to buy a new car and haggle for a fair price.
701. Men look GREAT in hats.
703. Men take you to Casa Bonita
704. Men get the flashlights when the lights go out.
705. Men don’t whine when women have a bigger presence or voice than they do.
706. Men don’t share Infinity Wars spoilers.
707. Men slam dance in the middle of your living room for no reason.
708. Men fix toys that you trip over in your son’s room and break.
709. Men like the WWE.
710. Men make their own beef jerky.
2557: Nope. I didn’t write 2557 tweets about how amazing men are, but 2557 people thought enough of men to like my tweet.

If you’re a man & all you see is negative nonsense about yourself in social media hold onto this tweet and remember the hate is just noise.

We love ya! 🐰
Also, just so you guys know, this tweet has over 104k impressions ... that’s amazing. :)
750. Men remind you to email yourself a reminder because he knows you need to be reminded.
751. Men let you pick where you go out for dinner.
752. Men give up the softer side of the bed.
753. Men love their moms.
754. Men help create mothers.
755. Men wake up every morning, they piss excellence.
756. Men got moves like Mick Jagger.
757. Men humor the cashier at Starbucks who wants to ask a million questions about your day.
758. Men don’t deserve to be treated as second-class citizens.
759. Donald Trump is a man.
760. Actually Hillary could be too.
800. Men like breakfast for dinner.
801. If men were a color of crayon, they’d be fire engine red.
802. Men have an ability to see a deer in the dark at 20 paces or more.
803. Mattis
804. Justin Amash
806. God created man ... and you can tell.
807. Man discovered fire.
808. A man first stepped on the moon.
809. Tombstone was the best western ever made, followed closely bunthe original Magnificent Seven.
810. Did you know they call a quarter pounder with cheese a Royale with cheese? No? Men do.
811. Men probably think I’m insane by now. They would be correct.
812. Jack was the first one to fall down the hill, Jill only tumbled after.
813. Men like to GO FAST.
914. Men ain’t got time to bleed.
915. There WAS a man behind the curtain.
916. Neil Diamond is THE man.
917. Jack Sprat could eat no fat because he gave his wife the best part of the meat.
918. One fish, two fish, men fish, blue fish.
919. It’s raining men ... hallelujah
920. There was a crooked man, who had a crooked wife - crap, I can’t remember the rest of this one,
921. Patrick Henry
922. Great balls of Fire. Heh.
923. Men don’t pat, they smear.
950. Men don’t worry about assuming gender.
951. Men rock.
952. Men have an amazing attention span - I’ve been babbling about them for hours now and many are still READING these tweets.
980. Men don’t lose track of numbers ...see, you just checked to see if I skipped.

I did.
981. Men know taxation is theft.
982. Men will take you shopping and hold your purse ... ok, this might be a stretch but cut me some slack.
993. Joy Reid isn’t a man
994. Men don’t need directions.

They have GPS.
995. Men don’t get fussy if you hog the blankets.
996. Men believe in limited govt
997. If a man had hosted the WHCD it might have actually been funny
998. Men encourage you to write just a couple more tweets because you’re almost to 1000 ... even if you cheated a little.
999. Men set a backup alarm on the morning
1000. Men really do make the world a better place.

1001. Men will do more dangerous things like fixing down power lines or going into sewers just so everyone can enjoy tv and some bathroom time.
1002. Men do nice things for their wives/kids that ended up befitting everyone. The sewing machine and the refrigerator for example.
1003. Men will clean up their pregnant wife’s puke when morning sickness gets the best of her (thanx honey💜)
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