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Sean Jones @seanjonesqc
, 17 tweets, 5 min read Read on Twitter
The forthcoming #Brexit White Paper - a Twitter User's Guide /1
Give it a while before logging on, the initial reaction will be largely noise. There will be three types of noise:
1. Leave commentators saying that it is a poke in the eye for Remoaners, a triumph for May and that the EU has been caught napping. 4 hours on, half of these people will be saying it's a surrender because Rees-Mogg will have denounced it as a betrayal.
2. Fellow Nerds furious that it is has been called a White Paper even though it contains no legislative proposals; and
3. Reflexive ironists pointing out that the Govt had always previously said "revealing our hand" would be a disaster and that this just proves that their secrecy marked an absence of anything resembling a clue.
After 40 minutes or so the first mega-threads will appear. Choose:
1. @WomaninHavana if you want something brisk, perceptive and accurate;
2. @guitarmoog if you'd like it examined in the context of a deep understanding of EU's day to day functioning and culture;
3. @StevePeers if you'd like balanced but detailed analysis complete with highlighted pull quotes and cross-references to other mega-threads and the views of other experts; or
4. @jdportes if you like numbers and stuff.
Meanwhile, down the expertise food-chain, some of us will be beavering away looking for the most stupid of the assumptions or ideas, so that we can post a single WTAFBBQ tweet laced with sarcasm in the hope of generating retweets and attention.
While we are doing that, @davidallengreen will scoop us all by serving up the most stupid idea in the White Paper with an understated elegance, signing off with the word "well".
Meanwhile someone will have briefed Piers Morgan and he will be trying to think of something inane to say about it. Dominic Grieve will be sat quietly contemplating the folly of those around him and @afneil will be gouging chunks out of a sacrificial junior minister.
The EU will then give the paper a cautious welcome; describe it as a constructive contribution, sigh and turn the lights out for another day.
A group of people with names that end in strings of numbers and whom I would never describe as gammon will be sending unhinged messages to @WomaninHavana and @cliodiaspora
will dismiss the proposals as fantasy. 100s of recently ex-Labour Party members will flood his timeline pointing out that they are materially indistinguishable form Labour's. @billybragg will wink and say "long game"
Someone will pose a constitutional question and @carlgardner and @spinninghugo will being having a row that you cannot follow and which progressively ensnares the entire Professoriat.
and @EmporersNewC will have assembled their summary threads, pointing out in exquisitely evidenced ways the various inconsistencies and absurdities. You won't want to miss those. @SKZCartoons will somehow do it 4 panels.
Dust settles, cattle are lowing, the baby awakes. /fin
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