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mercedes de acosta @saruuuuuuugh
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at the request of exactly no one, here’s a thread of my summer movies
Spotlight (2015) - tbt to fucking 8th grade, i Cried
Book Club (2018) - i can’t believe jane fonda single handedly invented sex positivity for women over 60
Death Becomes Her (1992) - meryl and goldie slaying in their 40s, i <3 90s special effects
Strangers On a Train (1951) - my girl patricia highsmith at it again with that 50s gay energy
Disobedience (2018) - i waited 15 years to see rachel weisz fuck a woman and i was not disappointed
To Catch a Thief (1955) - grace kelly is the most captivating woman that has ever been or will ever be onscreen
Baby Face (1933) - it’s amazing how much dykey energy barbara stanwyck manages to give off in a movie about her fucking men
Jenny’s Wedding (2015) - katherine heigl spent literally an hour and a half talking about how gay she was and her sister still gave off more lesbian energy than her
Clouds of Sils Maria (2014) - kstew has never looked better, could have been gayer
The Witches of Eastwick (1987) - i’m gonna pretend that jack nicholson’s crusty ass wasn’t in this but cher, susan sarandon, and michelle pfeiffer still had just as much sex with each other #stop10sdating2s
Dial M For Murder (1954) - murder mysteries sure do have a lot of exposition, shoutout to the ticket lady who charged me the seniors price
Vertigo (1958) - the cinematography of this movie had me so emo about san francisco
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) - wow marilyn monroe really is unreal onscreen but jane russell is the most iconic slut of all time
All About Eve (1950) - there’s some performances where you’re just like o i get why we still talk about this
The Women (1939) - this movie had literally no men in it hollywood it’s time to return to your roots
Batman (1989) - the only role i will accept jack nicholson in, fire jared leto and rehire jack
The Children’s Hour (1961) - this movie was fucking t r a g i c but it’s also a canonically gay story about shirley maclaine and audrey hepburn so i’m torn
Rear Window (1954) - grace kelly is straight up distractingly beautiful in this masterpiece of a film
whoops i watched To Catch a Thief (1955) again because i will never say no to an opportunity to stare at grace kelly on a big screen for 2 hours
Rear Window (1954) - two nights in a row because i can’t get enough of this dream team
True Grit (1969) - my grandma loves john wayne so fucking much it’s adorable
Death by Murder (1976) - tbh the 70s’ sense of humor is lost on me but i did get to enjoy maggie smith looking Poppin so it wasn’t a total waste
Clue (1985) - the other week i was drunk watching this movie and ordered a theatrical sized poster and i have absolutely no regrets because every second is absolute perfection
Pariah (2011) - wowie i’m bawling but this cinematography was beautiful and alike deserves the world
Ladies They Talk About (1933) - they tried laughably hard to convince you that all the women in this orange is the new black great depression au were straight but that didn’t stop barbara stanwyck from eye fucking all of them
Moulin Rouge! (2001) - this movie is so fucking extra and it cannot be overstated how much i love it, christian and satine are one of the 5 straight couples i ship
The Parent Trap (1998) - how did they make this movie?? why did they force the gay butler and the lesbian nanny to get together?? did hallie and tie dye girl get married?? what did disney do with lindsay lohan's twin??
The Parent Trap (1961) - once again i have no idea how tf they made this movie, not as good as the remake but i’m in love with the mother in both versions
Solo (2018) - so lando can fuck a robot with metal titties but we can’t have an explicitly queer character in a disney movie?
Lifeboat (1944) -
“i want to watch something with tallulah bankhead in it”
“you don’t expect me to know who that is do you?”
“oh she was like one of the great actors of the time. she did mostly stage work but this is one of her best known films...she was also queer”
“there it is”
Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story (2017) - do you ever just fucking sob over how absolutely, totally, royally fucked over actresses in studio hollywood and women in stem in the 1940s were let alone women who were both?
Ecstasy (1933) - hedy lamarr was the first woman to ever be shown cumming on screen what an icon what a pioneer
Ocean's Eight (2018) - i have talked basically nonstop for 2 years about how gay i am for every single woman in this cast but nothing could have prepared me for how gay i would be for them all in action
Algiers (1938) - i rarely look at straight couples in movies and think wow they should fuck but like these two really should have fucked
The Birds (1963) - i have never walked out of a theater so stressed to just be outside like,,,,why did those birds do that??
Psycho (1960) - it’s kinda weird watching a movie where you’ve known the big twist your whole life but i still had a great time
Gone with the Wind (1939) - everyone in this movie is absolutely terrible but clark gable and vivien leigh clearly had great hate sex, it did not have to be 4 hours long
Gilda (1946) - it has quickly become apparent that i don’t handle watching old movies well because every leading lady is absolutely breathtaking and i am Gay
Come Live with Me (1941) - this shit was straight up fanfic like oh you’re poor and i’m about to get deported let’s get married and solve all our problems whoops we fell in love
The Philadelphia Story (1940) - wow i have genuinely never felt more represented than by katharine hepburn’s drunk ass sabotaging her own life
High Socitey (1956) - the philadelphia story but with jazz, grace kelly, and a bar that comes out of a secret door in a book shelf in other words not as good as the og but still a fun time
Casablanca (1942) - not to sound dumb but this movie was really good, i couldn’t stop thinking about kate mckinnon’s ingrid bergman impression
Notorious (1946) - these fuckers had the gall to whore out ingrid bergman and then judge her for it fuck men i’m so mad
Walk on the Wild Side (1962) - *stefon voice* this movie has everything: lesbianism, prostitution, 24 year old jane fonda, the og Stray Bullet™
The Lady Eve (1941) - i could watch barbara stanwyck scam men all day, it is remarkable how much jane fonda looks like her father
Ziegfeld Girl (1941) - apparently people used to pay to watch women walk down stairs? and by the end of the movie i kinda got it?
Morocco (1930) - it‘s been nearly 90 years and the world has still not recovered from marlene dietrich in that goddamn suit
Night Nurse (1931) - isn’t it wild how the crazy censorship code that plagued hollywood for 30 years can be traced back to shit like barbara stanwyck walking around in her underwear for 2 minutes?
Double Indemnity (1944) - at first i was like why would you plot a murder for a woman you met 5 minutes before but then i was like tbh i would also do it for barbara stanwyck
Oklahoma! (1955) - my mom and i sang along while we did a puzzle and it was wholesome af, i was wrong gloria grahame is the most iconic slut of all time
Roman Holiday (1953) - what a charming af time watching 2 beautiful people have an insane amount of chemistry
Sabrina (1954) - 30 year age differences make me uncomfy, audrey singing la vie en rose had me fucking swooning
Carol (2015) - let’s be real we all knew this was coming, i had to recover from the unfulfilled gay subtext of ocean’s 8 by watching cate blanchett go down on a girl
Working Girl (1988) - to be shown if you ever need to explain The 80s, that group of secretaries who applauded harrison ford for taking off his shirt were relatable af
When Harry Met Sally... (1989) - i enjoyed this very much despite myself, i also completely forgot carrie fisher was in this and screamed
Freelancers Anonymous (2018) - wowie this movie was Terrible the only good part was when caroline and i decided to postmates king pin in the middle of it, shoutout to the weird guy who recommended it to us by starting “do you watch carmilla?”
Incredibles 2 (2018) - i can’t believe pixar had its first gay character, for real tho this movie was so good i teared up with joy and nostalgia
Alien (1979) - honestly everyone except sigourney deserved to die
Laura (1944) - if i had lived my life as a sad repressed lesbian in the 1940s i would have had such a thing for gene tierney
Ghostbusters (1984) - unpopular opinion: bill murray is intolerable in this, the soundtrack and loml annie potts are bomb tho
This is Spinal Tap (1984) - christopher guest movies are hit or miss for me but the drummers dying was fucking hilarious
Batman & Robin (1997) - megan and i accidentally watched this on 1.5x speed and honestly it was for the best, i would love this movie if batgirl and poison ivy were gay like they canonically are in the comics
The Hours (2002) - what this list was really missing was a good cry and boy did i have one
Incredibles 2 (2018) - round 2 and it only got better, i appreciated even more how Hot elastigirl is and laughed out loud at how shook the girl behind me was at the “slap on wrist” line
Troop Beverly Hills (1989) - this movie is without exaggeration a cinematic masterpiece that will never be matched
Jaws (1975) - honestly the real villain was capitalism people were literally getting eaten and everyone was like but money
Aliens (1986) - i have never seen a more powerful image of femininity than sigourney weaver taking down aliens with a child on one arm and a machine gun/flamethrower/grenade launcher on the other
The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) - patricia highsmith sure loves herself some gay murder, i often found myself thinking when is cate blanchett coming back?
Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood (2017) - i can’t wait to read this oversexed motherfucker’s book
Notes on a Scandal (2006) - dame judi dench is a fucking terrifying old lady lesbian but i too am jealous of the 16 year old boy who got to repeatedly make out with cate blanchett
Pride (2014) - you may think that unions and gays don't have anything in common but we both fucking hate magaret thatcher, more people should talk about this film it's delightful
Rebecca (1940) - wow this movie was real fucking gay and also the poster child for shitty hays code mandated representation
Queen Christina (1933) - you can try to erase explicit queerness from history but you can’t erase greta garbo’s innate queer energy
Cleopatra (1963) - breathtakingly problematic but also epic in all senses of the word, i get why it’s 4 hours
Lawrence of Arabia (1962) - a lot of white savior nonsense and not a fucking woman in sight but it is visually stunning, didn’t have to be 4 hours
The Handmaiden (2016) - i had to rewind constantly because i would get too distracted by how gorgeous every frame was and forget to read the subtitles
Mulholland Drive (2001) - well i read the wikipedia summary because i have no idea wtf happened in this movie and it was as confused as i am, could have been under 2 hours if david lynch wasn't so fucking weird
Gaslight (1944) - it is genuinely distressing to watch someone be slowly and systematically driven out of their mind
Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971) - amateur witch angela lansbury fights nazis and introduces 3 children to LSD in this mary poppins meets the chronicles of narnia musical of my childhood
The Gay Divorcee (1934) - the skill! the trust! her feet don’t even touch the last chair! i came for the title and left shipping fred astaire and ginger rogers
The Two Mrs. Carrolls (1947) - this was like some crazy vintage criminal minds shit, barbara stanwyck deserved to shoot a man
Soapdish (1991) - carrie fisher steals this movie in 3 seconds, it made me simultaneously want to watch a soap opera and to never watch a soap opera ever
Christmas in Connecticut (1945) - this is also my reaction to barbara stanwyck, i love how hard they had to work back in the day to ensure that despite miscommunication every character who isn't the straight up antagonist is a morally upstanding person
Bringing Up Baby (1938) - i want a pet leopard
Sylvia Scarlett (1935) - mourning the end of pride month with some vintage drag, the american public was not ready for the confusing sexual feelings katharine hepburn stirred in them
Stella Dallas (1937) - i saw this pic and thought damn she looks great i should watch this little did i know as someone who can't handle secondhand embarrassment that this movie would be one of the hardest things i've ever had to watch
The Birdcage (1996) - this has the most iconic cast i’ve ever seen and is shockingly nuanced and relevant, shoutout to hank azaria as agador spartacus the twink housekeeper who spends the majority of the movie in jorts and crop tops
Taxi Driver (1976) - i wonder how john hinckley jr felt when jodie foster came out
Beauty and the Beast (2017) - SHE👏🏻WANTED👏🏻TO👏🏻FUCK👏🏻A👏🏻WATER👏🏻BUFFALO👏🏻
If These Walls Could Talk 2 (2000) - 60s old lady lesbian vanessa redgrave, 70s michelle williams and butch chloe sevigny, and 2000s ellen degeneres and sharon stone all gay in the same movie sounds like a fever dream
The Aviator (2004) - it’s amazing how much more i understood and appreciated this movie now that i’m not 15, with that said i really fucking liked it
Independence Day (1996) - rule one of 90s movies: always listen to noted snack jeff goldblum
Top Gun (1986) - this movie was so ridiculous i’d think it was a parody if i didn’t know better but you bet i was gay for every jacket and pair of aviators this lesbian wore
Set It Up (2018) - this was Fine but it did really remind me how in love with lucy liu i am, “we should watch vampire academy”
She Done Him Worng (1933) - it’s honestly impressive that literally every sentence out of mae west’s mouth is an innuendo, alaska deserved to win snatch game
Mogambo (1953) - clark gable (51) has an affair with grace kelly (23) and i was so mad about it but then i found out they had an actual affair while filming this so now i’m even more mad but for different reasons
The Sound of Music (1965) - dylan and caroline and i went to the sing along in the castro and it was wholesome af, a lot of this summer is me rewatching movies i loved as a child and actually understanding the plots
The Hunger (1983) - you had me at erotic bisexual vampire horror thriller
Weekend at Bernie's (1987) - wow for something so well known this movie is really fucked like dark in a not good way
Citizen Kane (1941) - like it was very good but someone please explain to me why it is almost universally considered the best movie of all time, i wish i hadn't known what rosebud was going in
It Happened One Night (1934) - what a great and wildly modern rom com, we could have had so many more like it if will h hays hadn’t been such an asshat
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) - my grandma loves john wayne so i thought i should finally see what’s up and good lord are westerns deadly dull
The Apartment (1960) - after so many hays code films it’s so strange to me to watch a black and white movie that revolves completely and explicitly around sex
Bee Movie (2007) - wow i truly hated every second of this godforsaken movie, straight people need to be stopped
Bridget Jones's Diary (2001) - tbh i get the hype, if i were a straight girl in 2001 i would feel very empowered by this #relatable movie
Annie Hall (1977) - i knew exactly what i was going into but i can’t even articulate how much i loathed this movie, it literally starts with a monologue by woody allen where he quotes freud and i had to pause to gather the will to keep watching
Contact (1997) - aliens are real the truth is out there no one can convince me otherwise, i lové jodie foster but i pretty much only watched this so i could understand katya’s references
Fargo (1996) - this has the exact opposite tone of literally any crime drama i have ever seen and it was positively delightful
Dinner at Eight (1933) - omfg this kinda set itself up as a comedy about unwittingly connected people attending the same dinner party but turned out to be full of adultery, bankruptcy, suicide, and terminal illness??
Holiday (1938) - i‘ve got nothing but time for my fav gay dream team kate hepburn cary grant and george cukor, also here for surprise acrobatics from 6’2” men
Adam's Rib (1949) - i love sexual tension in a courtroom
Batman: The Movie (1966) - god i wish they still made superhero movies like this, it was just straight out of a comic book with all the camp and inherent ridiculousness and i loved it
Under the Tuscan Sun (2003) - diane lane at her most disheveled still looks 10 times better than i ever will, i didn't expect to be queerbaited like this
The Princess Diaries (2001) - everything about this movie is so iconic and perfect, this was honestly the realest disney‘s been in decades
Moulin Rouge! (2001) - god i am such a slut for this movie
The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004) - this movie as a whole isn’t Great but every single part is amazing?
Mamma Mia! (2008) - fuck everyone who doesn’t love this movie i’m ready to throw hands
She’s the Man (2006) - olivia! was! gay!
Gremlins (1984) - these furby ass motherfuckers are cute af pre metamorphosis, i love practical creature effects tbh
Adventureland (2009) - i surprisingly like movies that aren’t particularly about anything, kristen stewart looked great
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) - what a fun ridiculous time, donna sheridan can get it at any age
Terms of Endearment (1983) - cancer movies should be illegal, stop perpetuating the myth that jack nicholson is attractive
Steel Magnolias (1989) - god i love highly quotable southern bitches, dolly parton steals this movie and my heart the 80s were so good to her i’m floored
Roman Holiday (1953) - it’s pretty impressive how perfect a movie this is, it honestly had me experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion
North by Northwest (1959) - i actually really dug this but it’s also the poster child for fucked hollywood casting where the leading man’s love interest is 20 years younger and his mother is 8 years older than him, this pic is Drunk Sarah™
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) - even better the second time, many baby dykes will point to lily james in this movie as their root
Tootsie (1982) - ah yes a man is such an asshole no one will hire him so he dresses in drag to steal roles from actresses of a certain age cool cool cool
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) - i have never known such silence than from noelle and i when caroline said she had never seen this movie
Raging Bull (1980) - like i get why it's acclaimed but that still doesn't make me give a fuck about sports movies
The Commitments (1991) - the music was poppin as was maria doyle kennedy
Carol (2015) - i’m just trying to make sure all my friends have seen carol (2015) dir. todd haynes
St. Trinian’s (2007) - remember that time the girl i liked showed up to a party in a pencil skirt and white button up and i couldn’t speak for a full two minutes?
Chicago (2002) - wednesday addams may be my root but chicago made me gay
Obvious Child (2014) - i think this is my favorite cinematic depiction of female friendship, the only reason i don’t totally hate richard from carol (2015) dir. todd haynes is because of his character in this
10 Things I Hate About You (1999) - i am v gay for both julia stiles and heath ledger
Sleepless in Seattle (1993) - it feels right to watch this at 3:30am in seattle, this was literally just an extended episode of frasier
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Agian (2018) - “here we go again” i whisper as i sit down to watch this masterpiece for the 3rd time
It (2017) - i was already into this in theory because i’m a hoe for nostalgia but i actually really dug it, beverly is a futch queen and eddie is my son
The Stepford Wives (1975) - god i knew the twist and i was still positively shook, making/setting this during women’s lib is so interesting
Silkwood (1983) - cher was nominated for an oscar for playing a lesbian in a meryl streep movie? sign me tf up
Fried Green Tomatoes (1991) - i can’t believe this movie is so gay and they had the gall to not commit!!
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) - everything about this was so crazy and creative and surreal and i loved it
Return of the Jedi (1983) - sorry to say i will never go on a better date than to the sf symphony to watch star wars with a live orchestra so shoutout to harry
Far From Heaven (2002) - it’s strange and interesting to watch a movie that sounds and feels like it was made in the 1950s but then makes what would have been homoerotic subtext explicit and focuses on the pervasive racism that wouldn’t have been addressed
The Philadelphia Story (1940) - almost 80 years later and this is still a genuinely hilarious romcom with an incredible cast really doing the most cannot recommend it enough
Moonstruck (1987) - i started out on the fence but ended up being super here for 40 year old cher looking phenomenal, winning an oscar, and having a 22 year old boy toy even if that boy toy is nicholas cage with an italian accent and a wooden hand
Freaky Friday (1976) - this shit was risque af for disney i'm shook but i still like the remake better, i can't believe how gay baby jodie foster was
A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) - i feel like men in old movies can be hot for the time or hot hot and even though he was mostly a piece of shit marlon brando was hot hot
Blue Jasmine (2013) - i can’t believe woody allen was so close to me and i didn’t even fight him, i enjoyed this only because cate was so incredible but it’s basically just a streetcar named desire if tennessee williams was absolutely devoid of all sympathy for women
Carol (2015) - i know i joke but this movie is very important to me
On the Waterfront (1954) - i’m notoriously not a film critic but even i can tell why we still consider marlon brando one of the best
Wreck-It Ralph (2012) - i literally cried wtf, i’m such a slut for hyper detailed crossover nostalgia movies
What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) - i absolutely live for the behind the scenes drama of this movie and the utter fabulousness of bette davis
Mommie Dearest (1981) - me, every second of this movie: “that’s a lot”
Scarface (1983) - well that was 3 hours of people talking about balls and getting shot that i never ever have to watch again, at one point i literally blurted out “michelle pfeiffer you are so beautiful but your coke habit is stressing me out”
Safe (1995) - turns out this was not the movie to watch when sick now i’m fucking paranoid
The Fabulous Baker Boys (1989) - i’m always here for michelle pfeiffer but i probably would have enjoyed this more if i actually liked jazz lounge music
The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018) - this movie is so real and scary and important and i could talk about it for a very long time
In the Mood for Love (2000) - i feel so attacked by this movie my heart hurts, i’m in love with every dress mrs. chan wears and also mrs. chan
Clueless (1995) - i watched this last week and forgot to post about it which makes my eye twitch but we move forward, cher is a lesbian and that’s all i’m gonna say about that
Waitress (2007) - i didn’t expect to like this as much as the musical but it’s great in its own way
Addams Family Values (1993) - this movie literally made me gay and my love for it cannot be overstated
The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018) - this is the realer and honestly more satisfying version of but i’m a cheerleader
Crazy Rich Asians (2018) - i came for a goddamn spectacle and boy did they deliver, i am so gay for every woman in this
The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018) - you ever get bored and write an entire movie summary for wikipedia?
Crazy Rich Asians (2018) - i‘m so emo about rachel and eleanor’s dynamic i could write a 10 page paper on it
Little Shop of Horrors (1986) - the first VHS in my collection i’ve gotten to watch, this movie is so uniquely fucked but every song slaps
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