I remained a very active person, so when my body began to feel “off”, I knew something was wrong.
I didn’t think much of it, and I decided to go play football that day anyway. Most of the game I felt fine, but then my legs felt sensation-less.
It was time to go to the doctor.
A few days later the results came back, she couldn’t figure it out.
She was annoyed and told me to just listen (she may have saved my life honestly). So I did.
Never got a chance to stunt, the news was too frightening.
When I got there they had me meet him in his office. So I sat down and he says “what do you know about Multiple Sclerosis?”
All I heard was “blind”, “wheelchair”, “no cure”, and “death”.
I’m sure he also had some positive things to say, but I didn’t hear them.
I walked into my room, put on some Al Green (my grandmother’s favorite) and cried myself to sleep.
Somewhere in the darkness I thought about my grandmother who had bravely fought breast cancer twice (RIP). I gave myself one pity day.
I read everything I could find about MS. Treatments, workouts, medicines, foods, and more. I decided I wasn’t going to tell anyone until I had it under control (not my best decision).
I was already in fair shape, but wanted to try and push myself to another healthier and stronger level.
I also wanted to eat better (I was broke as hell, so this was difficult...damn You capitalism). I got to work.
But I was hell bent on managing this my way. At this point I still hadn’t told my family. Until one day I realized I needed help — badly.
I was doing shoulder presses and I suddenly became extremely dizzy and tired and started wobbling. I dropped the weight and cut my hand and blacked out.
I decided to start telling people. The last person I told was my mother. She had recently given birth to my little brother so I didn’t want to stress her.
Though, some of my ex girlfriends have supported me beyond measure with my MS (thank you 🖤)
Her and my friends gave me the support I needed.
A friend brought up the fact that I should do the MS walk and raise money. So we did, and so many folks showed up!
But I learned a lot doing the walks and being around people who shared my pain and had insight.
The sensation-less feeling was followed by constant random exhaustion, memory loss, vision loss, anxiety, back problems, depression, hospital stays and more.
But, I’m here. Blessed.
But then it reminds you, and reminds everyone around you if it gets bad enough.
I’m working on fortifying every part of who I am as things get worse.
Without a cure, this war won’t end. But I will make sure this isn’t what beats me.