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gin. @showupforthis
, 23 tweets, 7 min read Read on Twitter
Oh hey y'all wanna hear about the Dress Code Incident of '09?
Of course you do. Come on over.
Okay so. I'm pretty new to this company. The dress code is casual, as it should be, because there's no reason ever for non-customer facing employees to be forced into whole new wardrobes while receiving no increase in pay or clothing budget BUT WHATEVER I DIGRESS
Point is, one day it changes. Suddenly we're "business casual" with heavy emphasis on "business" and a whole lot of different interpretations about what, exactly, that means.

We're arguing with the boss, arguing with each other, arguing with ourselves like
And nobody really knows and nobody can really tell us (corporate decisions come with fuck all instructions) and none of us can afford a new wardrobe so folks just start showing up in their best guess which is... A mixed bag of results, tbh
And then there's coworker S. S has worked there since forever. She's always worn sweat pants. Always. Every day. And she's PISSED. Because there's no way to stretch "business casual" to encompass sweat pants.
Which was made clear to all of us when S got into a yelling match with the Boss after she showed up to work in sweat pants while we are all just like
However, the dress code does reference pantyhose as an example of appropriate attire.

And S knows an opportunity when she sees one.
So the next day, S shows up all decked out, full makeup with her hair done, nice but simple jewelry, a really classy blouse.... and pantyhose.

As pants.
Not the super thin sheer kind. Decently thick, can't see through at all, but still quite clearly pantyhose. That middle ground between hose and leggings, y'all know the kind.

Boss just looks at her. She smiles and gets to work.

We're all waiting for the explosion.
S kept wearing pantyhose-as-pants to work for about two weeks.

What I found out later is that it took that long because Boss and HR were trying to figure out EXACTLY how the dress code was being broken.

Because technically it was, but also technically it wasn't.
SO THEN one day they hold an all-hands meeting. We're all in a conference room. Boss and HR are there. So's S and her pantyhose-as-pants.

"We're here," Boss says, "To clear up some confusion about the new dress code."

We're all like
They go on to talk about many little items. You can wear sandals as long as they don't make any kind of flip-flop sound when you walk. Capris are ok but they have to hit EXACTLY MID CALF. Some bullshit about collars. We're mostly zoned out.
Then Boss says, "And no tight pants."

Every single eye in that room turns to S.

Boss continues, "Form-fitting is fine, but not skintight. We don't want to see your pantylines!" and laughs, like it's the funniest line he's ever heard.

We all look at S. We're just WAITING.
S just smiles.
The next day, S shows up.

She's wearing pantyhose-as-pants.

There's a subtle but noticeable difference.

Boss is pretty mad. He stomps in. Doesn't even bother to pull her aside. Asks her, "Didn't you hear what I said about tight pants?"
S: "Yes sir, you said "no pantylines" and I couldn't be happier to comply. Less laundry for me!"

All of us:
And that's how we had a business casual dress code for all of two weeks and two days.
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