Kelvin Odanz Profile picture
Alea iacta est, carpe diem. |•A PARODY•| politics. comms. PR
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12 Oct
We young people in Nigeria need to start showing more interest in HOW government actually functions and the processes that keep the wheel of govt running. Our inexperience is failing us at this crucial moment.
I have participated FULLY in these protests and have had several conversations with very intelligent people on this agitation.

I get that emotions are high, people are angry but we need to take a step back and ask ourselves very important questions. Logical questions
For instance with #ENDSARS
1. Who exactly controls SARS?
2. What is the chain of command in SARS?
3.if an IG gives an order, how does it get to EVERY SARS officer in the country? And how fast can every SARS officer get that order?
4. What is the process of disbandment?
Read 14 tweets
12 Oct
The IG of police said he has dissolved SARS and an investigation panel will be set up to look at last atrocities.

The President has also publicly addressed police brutality, promising reforms.

Is this the point where we stop protesting? Or it is aluta continua? Honest question
Personal opinion? I think we just take a little break and observe their actions: dissolution of SARS and the promised reforms.

Of course it is a transition. There'd still be cases of police brutality here and there. It can't stop immediately.

This is ME trying to be realistic.
And of course we also observe actions that will be taken with regards to those that have been killed and how their killers will be held accountable.

Of course we can set up groups or get experienced individuals who can participate in the process if it comes to that.
Read 7 tweets
9 Oct
There are currently checkpoints in Lagos being manned by SARS while the President is meeting the IG of police to discuss "reforms."

Also remember that SARS was banned 2 days ago by same President and IG of police, the 4th ban in 5 years.

Enough of empty talks. #EndSarsNow
This is our ONLY real opportunity to actually get these SARS criminals off our street. We have the world's attention, we have the president's attention.

Let's keep up the tempo. We are protesting tomorrow, we are protesting on Sunday, we are protesting next week. Across Nigeria
The only time we will stop protesting is when we stop seeing the criminals in that SARS uniform on our streets. We don't want to see SARS uniform anywhere.

Take them off the streets. Put them in a rehabilitation and re-education camp (maybe with those Boko Haram animals)
Read 5 tweets
8 Oct
Most Nigerians join the Police force after they've failed to secure admission into a regular tertiary institution or find meaningful employment.

That leaves us with a police force full of brutish,trigger-happy,half-baked illiterates exploiting the civilian populace for survival.
There is nothing inspiring about the regular police officer one sees among us. Interview a section of primary and secondary school students and you'd hardly find anyone who dreams of being a police officer. That institution is mostly reserved for losers
And I think we need to start fixing the problem from there. An institution that is a haven for failures and misfits cannot be tasked with protecting us.

They are more interested in exerting their new-found power over us or extorting us for their next meal.
Read 5 tweets
4 Oct
A student union activist will go around campus on an impassioned campaign against the "corrupt" school management for a hike in school fees and whatnot

Then later get invited to the VC's lodge for dinner,money changes hands and the aluta will continue on a different frequency 🤣
Most of these guys make it all the way to NANS and then are absorbed into mainstream politics and rise through the ranks to become top politicians.

They end up with a litany of corrupt cases trailing them and the weather the storm because this is Nigeria.Former upright activists
Anyway, the holiness and uprightness that most Nigerians like to portray is just a facade that never stands any test when it matters.

And I have seen enough of this not to take that feigned morality of Nigerians serious. It is paperweight. Small wind blows it off
Read 5 tweets
4 Oct
If lawyers can defend murderers in court even when they know deep down they're guilty,I have no issue with the Influencers who collected money to defend SARS.

Their pro SARS tweets will make little difference anyway.But I know emotions reigns supreme here,so go on with the rants
It is purely Business (nothing personal) and they have decided to sacrifice the subjective fiction called "conscience" to be in the business.

If you on the other hand have decided not to make certain sacrifices for the business, fine. But that is just you. Your choice.
Your moral sentiments can't be a guidebook for everyone, even if such moral sentiment is that of the majority.

So, will I take the offer if it was made to me? No I won't. I have my own reasons. But will I judge anyone who does take the offer? Absolutely not. It is just Business
Read 5 tweets
3 Oct
If you see a fresh guy with a clean ride up North, he is VERY likely from an important family with strong govt connection.

So SARS officers know better than go after them. But down South, anybody can be "rich." It is a fertile ground for criminals like SARS to extort
When I say "anybody" can be rich down South, I mean any young person can look fresh and have a very clean (expensive ride).

Some of them are rich through legitimate means, others got rich courtsey of "quick money" mediums like internet scam and other means
Anytime I go down South, something in my head tells me "this explains why SARS move mad here."

Go to Warri, Abeokuta,Lagos, Benin-City etc and you'd find thousands of young men living large, spending hard currency, partying hard and parading clean rides.
Read 8 tweets
3 Oct
Cost of food have almost doubled since March.Electricity tariff and fuel prices have almost doubled.Nigerians are adjusting

SARS keep murdering us like dogs and we are adjusting by devising means to avoid them

Nigerians always adjust. Na why dem dey carry us handicap.Disgusting
There is absolutely nothing admirable about the resilience of Nigerians. It has so far been more of a weakness than a strength.

The rogues and murderers running amok in this country know there are no consequences for their actions. Nigerians will just adjust to anything
Anyway, the price of the Quaker Oat I bought for N700 in July is now N1300. I've bought it. Same as fuel and electricity tariff.

I will help you guys share the "Make una run oo" tweets about SARS. The goal is to be alive and endure other forms of oppression in Nigeria.
Read 4 tweets
2 Oct
Have you ever tried calling a Nigerian married woman by her own name before? Especially if you are her mate or just 10 years older.

Nigerian woman created and reinforced this culture of "Mrs abc and Mummy xyz" as a way of competing against single women and women without children
I have had experience with my secondary school female classmates who got married and began expecting some level of respect from me because they're now married women.

One day after marriage, they're the ones who splash social media with images of their wedding, update their names
In fact, I know this particular girl that adopted the entire names of her husband: his first name, his middle name and his last name.

Say her name is Promise John and her husband is Jacob Paul Sani. She then changed her name to Promise Jacob Paul Sani. I kid you not
Read 6 tweets
2 Oct
I read this news of a jobless youth who attempted commit suicide out of depression.

And police arrested him for attempted suicide, charged him to court and he was told to pay 200K as bail.

This country belongs to a trash can. It should not be existing at all. An abomination
Someone who was rendered jobless because of the dysfunctionality of this country attempts suicide. What he gets is not therapy, not even empathy.

What does this useless piece of trash have in stock? Arrest him and try to extort him of 200K he very likely doesn't even have.
The only thing this useless entity of a country does is Take and take and take!

Take your money, take your happiness, take your life, take your peace. It gives nothing in return.

I read that news yesterday and I have been filled with disgust ever since. Cesspool of a country
Read 4 tweets
29 Sep
If you happily collect investor money and then start a legal drama when time for meeting your end of the deal comes, you're only scaring off future investors. That's the case involving Healthplus and its PE investors. Actions by private companies can be bad for FDI in the country
If you sign a deal with a PE firm within a stipulated amount of time, their interest takes precedence especially when you sold majority of shares to them.

They have the right to Influence and try to enact changes (based on signed agreement) to protect their investment
This is something entrepreneurs should start taking serious within the country. Wanting to inject investor money to expand your business is not enough.

Being fully aware of the term of the agreement you signed should be a priority.
Read 5 tweets
27 Sep
When a company starts selling shares, the interest of the majority shareholders takes precedence over that of anyone else (including founder/CEO)

Steve Jobs himself was kicked out of a company he founded at the behest of shareholders. That's exactly what's going on at Healthplus
When a public goes public and starts selling shares, the money and asset put into your company by investors and shareholders becomes the priority

The company needs to turn up good numbers,give investors a meaningful Return on their investment, has to have a healthy structure etc
From what I've read on the recent tussle within Healthplus, the majority shareholders are trying to make changes in the company that'd make it viable enough.

This is pretty normal in the Business world. Those changes can include changing the CEO if shareholders deem it fit.
Read 4 tweets
23 Sep
Before the Edo election,I heard terrible things.I was told not to go because it'd be the most violent election ever.

Anyway,I was in Edo State and the election was one of the most peaceful I've ever experienced.

A huge credit to INEC for making the process free,fair,transparent
And of course there is the Oba of Benin who played a very vital role in getting the two candidates to commit to non-violence

If other traditional rulers in Nigeria adopt this fatherly,reconciliatory, non-partisan role in Politics, elections will be less violent than they've been
Another kudos to INEC again for the innovation they brought in to foster transparency through technology.

You don't know how much difference that website for uploading early results made.

It helped restore some confidence in the transparency of the electoral process.
Read 4 tweets
22 Sep
Last year my woman was sick and was hospitalised for 4 days or so. I slept in that hospital for the entire four days; running errands and making food.

And we were not even married oo. It is now my wife I'd leave in the labour room for Isiewu? I'd grow cobwebs in that hospital
I took an emergency leave from work. Some of my colleagues from the office (they're on Twitter and can read this tweet) came to pay visit at the hospital.

That is how we are devoted to our women. We go the extra mile to make them comfortable, to love, care, protect
This Patriarchy FC trend is on one part pure bants/Jokes and on the other hand a backlash at the group of activists who've made it a lifestyle to throw aspersions at men, demonize men, slander men. Patriarchy FC bants is an "we don't give a fuck" middle finger at them. Simple.
Read 5 tweets
20 Sep
My dear Lagosians, it is very possible for you to break the chains of your slavery and be free from Tinubu. How long will you continue being in shackles?

Your city is deteriorating,illiterates,thugs and hoodlums rule over your city. Be like Edo people and get rid of your demigod
You guys are somehow the most Politically-aware Nigerians and also the state in the worst form of Political slavery.

You go and discuss Politics on National TV by 2pm and then go into the streets to have the day's tussle with Tinubu's traffic, agberos, tollgate fees and levies.
The stench of your cowardice is far-reaching. How can one man be in charge of your fate so much?

He literally controls your transport system and the thugs who enforces his will, he decides which Business lives or dies, decides the taxes you'd pay, runs your sea ports. How?
Read 5 tweets
19 Sep
This ongoing Edo State election is characteristic of all the elections we've seen since 2015.

It has been marked by widespread attempt by both parties to rig and disrupt the process.

And there is also the weaponization of poverty through vote-buying from both sides of the aisle
The only thing clear from the whole process is that we are not yet ready for free and fair elections that reflect the will of the people.

The electorate is complicit in standing by and letting thugs run riot and willingly offering their votes for sale. It mars the process.
And this has unfortunately been exploited by Politicians and their thugs who know that they can't win at the polls based on merit only.

They use funds looted from govt treasuries at all levels to buy themselves into power and work towards recouping their expenses+profit.
Read 4 tweets
18 Sep
If the people of Southern Kaduna hear the kind of military Siren currently blaring in every corner of Edo state, no bandit or herdsman will have to courage to go and murder them in their sleeps. But I guess ballot boxes are more important than the lives of Nigerians. Priorities.
It doesn't make sense that about 31,000 police, mopols, DSS and other security operatives are deployed JUST to secure ballot boxes for an election when the people of Katsina, Southern Kaduna etc are asking for less than half that number so murders will stop killing them.
Do we really need that much number to prevent a thugs and hoodlums from snatching ballot boxes and disrupting elections?

But of course this isn't really for the love of Democracy.This is a tactic to intimidate voters and attempt to muscle INEC officials during the election.
Read 5 tweets
18 Sep
The biggest threat to INEC conducting free and fair election in Nigeria is the militarisation of elections by the powers that be.

Currently in Benin to observe the election and the large number of security forces in town gives me worries about tomorrow's election
Because at the end of the day, INEC has zero control on security agents and some election thugs who sometimes work-in-hand with security forces.

The personnels who work for INEC at polling units have families they'd want to go home to.They won't give their lives to protect votes
If the sole job of the security forces on ground is to ensure peaceful conducts of election and protect voters, I am very sure the election will be free and fair.

The distribution of sensitive materials to different LGAs by INEC has been commended by all parties so far
Read 4 tweets
16 Sep
I don't know why we get excited when we read news of some politicians being placed on US travel ban.

Do you know how long Omar al-Bashir of Sudan was on travel ban and ICC wanted list before Sudanese people grew the balls to topple him?

Let's keep waiting for the US to save us
The funny thing is that lots of Politicians (especially those from the North) rarely visit the US. The US is not the favourite travel destruction.

Most of them prefer the UK. In fact, most of them that have assets outside of the continent have those assets in the UK
And a whole lot of them have UK citizenship.Those who don't have it personally ensure their kids have UK citizenship.I don't want to mention names.

The richest man from my state (Taraba) has vast swath of expensive real estate scattered around "Landan", for rent and personal use
Read 5 tweets
15 Sep
This life so unfair to we men sha. So a lady accused you of sexual assault and it is left to you to spend a tonne of money on legal processes trying to prove yourself innocent or you carry the rapist tag for life.What if Dr. Funmi doesn't have the money to take the case to court?
And this his case is making me more sympathetic towards guys who threaten to take legal actions and suddenly backtrack.

Do you know how much it takes to hire lawyers? And someone like Funmi who even had to hire lawyers in pounds, then repeat the process in Naira
Sometimes people really want to go the legal process. But then when they calm down from their rage and calculate what it'd cost, they just decide to let it go.

But then the "rapist" tag hangs on. I really think that is so so unfair, especially for those falsely accused
Read 4 tweets
14 Sep
The truth is that most Nigerian men are incapable of loving women who don't need their money.
So much of our definition of love is tied to what we can use money to do for women. It like money is the only medium of love we have.
I say this because I was guilty of this in my whoring days. Dated two women who were VERY okay (one was even had more money than me). And God knows I struggled. But I learnt a lot about my inadequacies and I've worked so hard in correcting much of that over time.
Read 5 tweets