no one needs another personal essay on agoraphobia/panic disorder so let me just say: it sucks lugnuts and the pandini has made it immeasurably worse
not only did i lose whatever progress i'd made, ive spent the entire time fighting off new phobias and old ones made worse (autophobia can suck my dick). the prospect of the world "reopening" with all my maladaptive coping mechanisms still in place is terrifying!
me trying to date is like *christian grey voice* you see, i have certain......... crippling limitations
i feel like i learn about a new congressman every day and theyre always named like Brick Applewhite and saying absolutely insane things about murdering socialists
435 people with some positions switching every 2 years is a lot to keep track of, how am i supposed to remember Cliff Bonkerthorp III (R-Arkanasas) before he starts tweeting about the shadow cabal government thats trying to cancel the easter bunny with brickbats
inspired by this dude, who no doubt has a fleet of likeminded construction material named compatriots, like Rust Fortherton and Mud Gringerch
i dry brushed my hair just to feel alive and, related, have a new theory about sasquatch
update: now going to do jail support for @itsa_talia who got unjustly arrested while covering a protest (talia hive assemble) so its in a bun
a lovely, lively crowd of folks twerking and hanging outside the 7th precinct. no word about when talia & other arrestees might get out/bail funds. brought some dunkies and water to supplement the pizza.
if you are a white christian male reporter who decided that this week is a great time to get interested in far right extremism for the first time maybe.... don't
the impact of bad/minimizing/romantic coverage of this stuff is enormous, and diving in headfirst makes you enormously likely to a) process violent liars uncritically and b) have no consciousness of the historical roots of this stuff and c) not examine your own biases
and i mention identity here not bc identity implies foreknowledge, but bc having skin in the game- being one of their targets - can countermand the tendency to approach the far right as a morally neutral or salacious subject, rather than...hate movements premised on violence
i cant believe the crown had a weird episode and a half rehabilitation of the Duke of Windsor/David, with Charles' simpering admiration for how "daring" and "original" he is, without once bringing up the fact that he was A GODDAMN NAZI
like a full bore, hitler befriending, state secret selling ass nazi, and so was wallis
honestly fucking bizarre to bring that up in one episode and then just... never speak of it again and give him a weird fulsome/melancholy rehabilitation (and her the duty of Wisdom about Love)
what's a good drinking game for The Crown?
-drink every time anyone has a mustache
-drink every time theres a royal photo sitting
-drink every time Elizabeth looks pained
-drink for a royal protocol dispute
-drink when a newspaper hed is a crucial plot
visited the grave of my college roommate and close friend joanna today. she died by suicide in 2013, at 22. there's still a hole in my life where she was. it never goes away, really. depression is a curse.
I will also never forgive or forget that while she was on academic probation after a deep bout of depression & suicidality, I did what all kids are taught to do - reported to authority (a dean). They reacted by banning her from campus, isolating her from all her friends.
Fuck Harvard. They covered their ass and my friend died.
i finally finished Mary Shelley's FRANKENSTEIN. It is amazingly and also sometimes beautifully melodramatic. Like Goth monster Hamlet. The monster is SO ELOQUENT and I cant get over how that was totally erased in every film!
also Victor Frankenstein gets a horrible fever every time he gets bad news. for like months at a time.
also, SO many beautiful descriptions of lakes! made me really want to visit Geneva someday.