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KIKUYU GHELS BEEN CONFUSING JANG’O MENS SINCE 1900.

One day The Mother sends me to the shop. It's Sunday 7:30pm.

Mum: Go buy bread & milk for tomorrow and come back home immediately, because I know you. Tomorrow is school day.

I come back at 10:30pm. She's at the door. LIVID.
PS: I am like 13.

Me: Sasa Mum, unafanya nini nje. Ingia ndani, utashikwa na Malaria.
Mum: Ebu leta hiyo mkate na maziwa hapa.

Kidodo kidogo, her sister walks in. Mother had called her sisters and they've all agreed a lion has eaten me, so they are already planning my funeral.
Mother has blocked the door, I'm not allowed in.

Aunt: (Sarcastic) So you've come back from the dead?
Me: (Still clueless) Sasa Aunty. Kwani form ni gani?
Aunt:You'd better be a ghost. Niliamshwa usingizi ati a lion ate you.
Mum: (Straight at me). OYA! Unatoka wapi saa hii?
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