Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #DOMESTICABUSE

Most recents (18)

#pleaseread Thread: Couldn’t understand why I could not sleep. I then realise that it’s four years ago to the very night that I hit my lowest point. I was in despair, borderline suicidal with no idea what to do or where to go. All because of an abusive relationship.
I was with my bully of an ex. He showed such narcissism that led me to believe that absolutely everything was my fault. I was never good enough. I’d been bullied so much that I’d lost over 20kgs in stress and fear in just over 12 months. I’d become a crumbling wreck.
He told me this night he debated leaving me as he didn’t find me sexy. I was ugly. That I didn’t do it for him anymore, and I believed it was all me. I wasn’t good enough. I was frozen. He still wanted sex but then berated me when I couldn’t do it. Too scared. Leaving me in tears
Read 16 tweets
Patrisha McLean, who accused her singer-songwriter husband, Don McLean, of #domesticabuse, is organizing Maine women to tell their own stories. And he is protesting.
THREAD nytimes.com/2019/10/20/us/…
She displayed a typed letter which, she said, he forced her to sign in 1994, declaring that fights they had were her fault, the result of her premenstrual mental disturbances. #DonMcLean
“In the later years of the marriage, “the worst of the physical violence didn’t really occur,” she said. “But I always know it could occur. He would say, ‘Don’t get me started,’ and we both knew what that meant.””
#DonMcLean
Read 20 tweets
Understanding Coercive Control

Part 31: Dehumanisation

Abusers control because they NEED to have control over another. Many also debase their victim by treating them as less than human to justify their behaviour.

THREAD
#coercivecontrol #dehumanisation #DomesticAbuse
To dehumanise is to treat another individual or group as inferior. Many sociologists and historians believe that dehumanisation is an antecedent to violence.
Those who dehumanise do not persecute groups or individuals they perceive as equal but those they see as ‘less than’.
There are basically 2 forms of dehumanisation:

Animalistic Dehumanisation- When people are denied human traits, they are thought to be animal-like.

Mechanistic Dehumanisation- When people are denied human traits they are thought to be object-like.
Read 19 tweets
I am angry.
I am hurt.
And I am afraid.

I just picked the children up from their visitation w their domestically abusive father.

My daughtr gets in the car & starts telling me how this visit was a little better for her. Then she tells me WHY it was better...
#THREAD👇🏾TW//#DVAM
Do you remember the last dropoff, when my 12yo panicked and fought bc she didn't want her abusive dad to touch her and he wouldn't stop? The incident that she talked about in the subtweeted video above? Do you remember that he told her if she refused his affection, he'd slap her?
My 12yo girl told me that THIS visit was better bc she figured, if she cant make him stop, if fighting him off won't work, then she'd make a deal with him, that even though she didn't want him to hug her, she would tell him he could if he agreed not to tickle her & other touches.
Read 23 tweets
Understanding Coercive Control

Part 25: Parental Alienation

To understand the prevalence of parental alienation, we first need to understand the dynamics of abuse.
THREAD
#coercivecontrol #domesticviolence #domesticabuse #parentalalienation #children #childcontact #familycourt
This isn’t a thread about whether parental alienation is coercive control or not. Alienation happens for reasons OTHER than coercive control (more of this later).
Parental alienation happens.

I personally know more mothers than fathers who have no contact with their children. I’m not saying this is an accurate reflection of society. All I’m saying is that,in my personal experience, I’m aware it happens to mothers more.
Read 19 tweets
#URGENT #911 Over the course of the next few weeks, I need twitter to show out for me. My children and I, WE NEED A MIRACLE. We are in a crisis of incredible proportions because of an abusive man and the systems that protect men liIke him.

Please keep reading this #THREAD
⬇️⬇️⬇️
I CANNOT fight back alone. I desperately need the help of Twitter. And I dont have much time.

A hearing date has been set for OCTOBER 25th.

This is it. The day it will be decided how much longer my 10 & 12 yrold will suffer abuse, how much longer we'll know that man's torment.
What that means is that I have WEEKS left to get anything, everything I can think of that may help and protect us to the lawyer.

I have been working around the clock for months, fighting desperately to protect my children. I've given everything I have and more of what I don't.
Read 14 tweets
A study undertaken by J Golding in 1999 reported that as many as two-thirds of victims of abuse (64%) developed post traumatic stress disorder of which symptoms can include:
Recurrent memories (of the traumatic experience, flashbacks, nightmares, physical reactions to reminders of the traumatic event)
• Avoidance (talking or thinking about the traumatic episode, avoiding people or places that trigger memories)
• Changes in thinking or mood (emotional numbness, difficulty keeping close relationships or feeling positive emotions, negative self-image)
Read 4 tweets
#DOMESTICABUSE #UPDATE

Alright everybody. We're still fighting that system+the man that's wreaked havoc on our lives for the safety & hope of two children that mean more to me than my life. Just received the latest attorney's bill.

$3183 to be paid immediately.
Jesus.
#Thread
That man is banking on us not being able to afford the price of freedom. And we can't alone.

cashapp: cash.me/$Caffeinatedli…

venmo: CaffeinatedLiving

paypal (select the fam/friend option to avoid fees!): paypal.me/AlexisCL

GoFundMe:👇🏿👇🏿
Please RT w comment like crazy. Share on Instagram, Facebook wherever. We don't mind.

My heartbeats are on the line. So if you can help in any, God knows we desperately need it and so very greatly appreciate it. No matter how much is given, it's more than we had. ❤
Read 7 tweets
Today, I will try my hand at live tweeting insights from "A #Home of One's Own", a two-day #researchworkshop on socially & economically #marginalised women's experiences of and negotiations with #genderinequalities in #informalurbanhousing in India.
This workshop has been organised by #JadavpurUniversity (School of Women's Studies), #RabindraBharathiUniversity (Centre for Women's Studies) and #Parichiti, a women's organisation. All three are research partners on a #GCRF project funded by @GoldsmithsUoL.
Since Oct 2018, I have collaborated with Dr. Henrike Donner, who is leading it, to develop #researchcollaborations with #educational and #development organisations in India to implement a pilot study on #genderurbanhousing. This workshop marks the end of the first phase.
Read 34 tweets
William James Murdoch, 43, Glasgow, is the first person to be convicted of a pattern of abusive behaviours since the new #DomesticAbuse (Scotland) Act was introduced on 1st April 2019.
DSU @gordonmccreadie said: "The introduction of the Domestic Abuse (Scotland) Act marks a new era in how Scotland tackles domestic abuse.
"Those coercive and controlling behaviours, that for so long were the hidden aspects of abuse, are now being brought into the open. With the new law, we can now investigate and report, the full circumstances of an abusive relationship to Crown, as happened in this case.
Read 6 tweets
Idk why but I just feel compelled to put this up here today.

I lived through, I survived, I am surviving every single one of these #TypesOfAbuse. Every. Single. One.
From 1 single solitary person.

And this actually leaves off one more type of abuse that he does: #SpiritualAbuse
Spiritual Abuse from him in the lives of me and my children has included:

- Threatening to harm/harming my position or respect in church

- Which he tried to doo by taking me to our pastor countless times to falsely accuse me of violating scripture and "not honoring him"
- and lying to our church family, creating false narratives, presenting a false positive image of himself & his relationship to his children & me, deceiving church leadership to obtain positions and increase credibility w pastors, parishioners, etc

#SpiritualAbuse #DomesticAbuse
Read 14 tweets
Gaslighting is psychological manipulation to make someone question their own memory, perception, and sanity.
The gaslighter aims to exert power and for the victim to be dependent on them.
The victim of #gaslighting becomes so disoriented, they start doubting their own reality.
The term first appeared in a 1938 British stageplay by Patrick Hamilton, called Gaslight, which was made into a film in 1940.
Here is the link to the film:
MGM bought the remake rights but insisted that all existing prints of this first film be destroyed,
Read 14 tweets
So, I just got off the phone with my attorney's office for this court fight to secure my children from my former abuser. Yall. What they just told me...smh Let me tell you something about #financialabuse, a huge underaddressed and unacknowledged aspect of #domesticabuse.
#thread
I answered the phone and after pleasantries,

My Attorney's Secretary: Stacey (my lawyer) wants to know if you filed your tax return?

Me: Yes. I've already filed them.
My Attorney's Secretary: Oh, ok. I figured you would have. I asked bc (the abuser)'s attorney called this morning saying that he requests that you file jointly with him and split the return 50/50 with you.
Read 13 tweets
The Trump Administration is #AtWarWithWomen. The #ViolenceAgainstWomenAct ( #VAWA ) has been allowed to expire and they have quietly changed the definition of #DomesticViolence.
The Trump Justice Department declared, only harms that constitute a felony or misdemeanor crime may be called #domesticviolence. The isolation, financial control, emotional attacks, and verbal assaults are no longer considered domestic violence.
I am a survivor of #domesticviolence and long before the horror of the physical abuse that would constitute a “felony or misdemeanor” came the systematic destruction of my ability to be a free and functioning individual.
Read 22 tweets
#domesticabuse threatening suicide as a control device. 1st time this happened to me I was 17. A boy I politely turned down for a date got his sister to ring my mother & tell her he'd killed himself because I'd refused him. My mother blamed me for bringing
family into disrepute. I believed I'd killed him for the whole weekend. Saw him at art school the following Monday where he grinned and said, that'll teach you. After that every abusive partner I had, threatened to kill themselves if I got 'uppity'.
Some even took a few painkillers and rang the police to 'save' them saying they'd taken a handful of pills. I was always blamed and advised to 'go easy' on the abuser despite him previously abusing me physically & mentally. One guy constantly
Read 9 tweets
If Austin Monahan’s story is true:
Good man for defending your Mother and while everyone is innocent until proven guilty the accusations should be investigated. This isn’t blue wave/red wave, domestic abuse is always tiptoed around (see NFL) and it shouldn’t be.
WTF? Is this an #OpenSecret #KeithEllison 🤬
Read 10 tweets
This #RobPorter mess brings up MANY issues we in the #domesticabuse prevention space see routinely. As a #DV prosecutor on the early days post-OJ with CA's Nicole Brown laws new on the books there was a LOT of "you overreacted; he's a good guy at work." Sound familiar, #metoo? 1/
So many #domesticabuse victims and survivors have a similar story: good guy in public; horrible and controlling in private. So we EXPECT lots of "he was a good guy; she must be over-reacting; this is not the man we know" #RobPorter-type defenses. they have 2 faces. 2/
OF COURSE he will behave at work. That's his paycheck. That's his public face. But at home ... all the jealousies and toxins come out in his private face. Believe the people who see his private face. 3/
Read 8 tweets
A letter to a young woman in #Skye.

We know you follow this account and want you to see this.

We’ve told you previously that we think you are at risk of domestic abuse from your
partner.
We want to help you and are doing lots with other agencies to try to keep you safe.

You might not see us, you might not even like us being involved but we are always thinking about how we can help you.
Your family and friends have told you they think you are in danger – they support you and want you to be safe.
Read 6 tweets

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