Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #DadJokes
Most recents (13)
I tried to get him to come over but he was a little sheepish. 
There used to be four of them but one is on the lam.
They’re all pretty good but this one’s the GOAT.
Some people with Autism struggle with humor, because they take things more literal. I like humor, get it most of the time. #DadJokes are the best and so are practical jokes.
Before Covid, I was known for my sense of humor. And then the darkness filled my mind and I lost so much of my humor. Just now it struck me how much I've laughed and joked the last couple of weeks. Could it be my old self is finding it's way home?
Am I finally getting close to kicking that deep depression out the door? Going back to what most people do, just having a random case of the blues now and then? I had a good day yesterday and I'm having one today. Back to back good days??? OMG I might get high on happy!
A thread, by "popular demand" ...
Me: Hey Rosa, do you know the difference between entomology and etymology?
Rosa: I can’t find the words for how much your #dadjokes bug me.
Me: Hey Rosa, do you know the difference between entomology and etymology?
Rosa: I can’t find the words for how much your #dadjokes bug me.
Me: Rosa, have you noticed I love bad puns?
Rosa: Gee no dad, I never noticed.
Me: That’s just how eye roll.
Rosa: Gee no dad, I never noticed.
Me: That’s just how eye roll.
Hey Rosa, I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but I'm afraid 99% of the people will never get it.
$FREEE $4478 – Why we like it
1/ Freee is the leader in cloud accounting software in Japan. It is easy for customers to use, allows significant time savings, and makes compliance with government regulations easier. Think the Japanese version of $XRO or $INTU
1/ Freee is the leader in cloud accounting software in Japan. It is easy for customers to use, allows significant time savings, and makes compliance with government regulations easier. Think the Japanese version of $XRO or $INTU
2/ $Freee is particularly popular with smaller companies and self-employed. Its software is pitched at people who are new to accounting. It has an attractive user interface that reduces the need to manually input data (those dreaded expense receipts)
3/ $Freee has tied up with a network of accounting firms in Japan. This partner network helps to reach thousands of smaller businesses. The company also has a great website where you can directly sign up.
So I was minding my own business last night when a family of ducks decided to pay me a visit...
The ducklings were directed by mama duck in the rear with insistent quacks
They clearly seemed to think I had something for them to eat
My wife sent me to the store to pick up a dozen Sprites, but I picked Seven Up instead.
#DadJokes
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#DadJokes
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What did the right eye say to the left eye?
“Between you and me, man, something smells!”
#DadJokes
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“Between you and me, man, something smells!”
#DadJokes
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We need some inspiration. Join us to celebrate people fighting for our planet w/#30EarthMonthHeroes. The rules: 1⃣Tag a person who does great things to protect the environment 2⃣tag+thread another the next day 3⃣Repeat thru April. Explainer via @TaotaoTasi southernfriedscience.com/30-earth-month…
And just for fun, here is our 2019 list: #30EarthMonthHeroes
1) One of our #30EarthMonthHeroes is our previous president @brooke2cents. Beyond the leadership she provided us, Brooke trains conservationists on how to design outreach plans that motivate action. Check out her work on sustainable fishing in Mongolia: brooketully.com/making-sustain…
(1 / many, you'll see😳) Egypt was beautiful* (more to come on that). First, here are the jaw-dropping photos I took + travel advice:
Can't recommend Pyramids View Inn in Giza enough. This is from the roofdeck where you get breakfast. It's cheaper vs the 2 luxury hotels further away. The staff is honest (so important here), and while they gently steer you into their tours, in most cases, it's a positive upsell.
Day + night view, and a "Stella" beer to go with it. There's a pyramid light show at 7pm in English (free for you from this vantage point), but it's skippable. Could be better if you're viewing it in front of the Sphinx with a paid ticket.🤷🏻♂️
Star Wars (1977): The first Millennium Falcon, by @ILMVFX modelmakers.
Aka the "Pirate Ship".
Only the cockpit and the radar dish will be recycled for "our" Millennium Falcon.
A known story. ==> thread.
Aka the "Pirate Ship".
Only the cockpit and the radar dish will be recycled for "our" Millennium Falcon.
A known story. ==> thread.
The design of the "pirate ship" comes from the study model made by Colin Cantwell, from the beginning of 1975.
A design that followed the guidelines of George Lucas.
Happy #FathersDay! And, since we know how much you love our #dadjokes, we're at it again this year!
Share yours with us 👇
Share yours with us 👇
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
(1) Special #TeamTrump #PhotoThread: Trump's second #SCOTUSnominee, announced July 9, 2018. #PromisesMadePromisesKept #RedWave #VoteGOP
Benefits of having three kids #1:
Absolutely noone (family & others) gives unprompted parenting advice anymore (probably because they gave up).
Absolutely noone (family & others) gives unprompted parenting advice anymore (probably because they gave up).
Benefits of having three kids #2:
Being able to say (in theory) things like: “well, *some* of my kids play Golf”
Being able to say (in theory) things like: “well, *some* of my kids play Golf”
Benefits of having three kids #3:
Being able to switch from man to zone defense at home.
Being able to switch from man to zone defense at home.
