Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #DadJokes

Most recents (5)

Happy #FathersDay! And, since we know how much you love our #dadjokes, we're at it again this year!

Share yours with us 👇
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
Read 12 tweets
A short thread on running for office in USA as an immigrant

45 ran on the claim that America isn't great & we need to "MAGA"

As I campaign for VA Senate on the premise that we can make VA a better place to live, I'm told, "If you don't like it, go back to the Middle East."

/1
1—I’m not Middle Eastern but racists tend to see all brown people spanning 200 nations as one group anyway

2—Even if I was from the ME, fascinating how xenophobes demand immigrants “assimilate,” and then clutch their pearls when we promote democracy by running for office🤔

/2
Why exactly are so many so afraid of immigrants, people of color, women,& other minorities running for office?

Are they afraid of becoming minorities themselves?

Have minorities been mistreated or something in US history? /s🤔

Their fear makes them lash out, for example:

/3
Read 8 tweets
Hey NYC, I’m the keynote speaker at an event on the life of Prophet Muhammad (sa) this Sunday at 1:30pm EST.

Q/A to follow after the lecture. And yes, I'll be wearing my awesome hat.

Tickets are free for this event but limited seating, so RSVP: vp.lis@ahmadiyya.us
Just arrived at the hotel to speak on Prophet Muhammad (sa) and the first thing I see is a sign for a Psychic conference

For a moment I thought I was in the wrong place because I did Not see that coming.😅
#DadJokes

(Our event starts at 2pm!)
Full house and great interfaith gathering at our event on Prophet Muhammad (sa).

I’m speaking in a few minutes on the life of Prophet Muhammad (sa) & peace.
Read 3 tweets
Benefits of having three kids #1:
Absolutely noone (family & others) gives unprompted parenting advice anymore (probably because they gave up).
Benefits of having three kids #2:
Being able to say (in theory) things like: “well, *some* of my kids play Golf”
Benefits of having three kids #3:
Being able to switch from man to zone defense at home.
Read 33 tweets

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