Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #GoodChristian

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Alright, #WarOnChristmas freedom fighters! I am here to compose my last daily thread in this campaign!

We have fought hard. We are weary. We may need to vent. So I propose we continue the Festivus airing of grievances. And boy do I have one to air.

Why is #ChristmasEve a thing?
So sit back and relax in as coastal elite a manner as possible--if you have them at your disposal, sit down at a MacBook Pro and drink organic ginger lemon kombucha, as I am doing--and join is as I go over all of my objections to #ChristmasEve.

What other holidays get an Eve??
Alright, alright, some Yahoo will immediately burst in like the Kool-Aid man and shout, "New Year's Eve!"

But bear with me; I will attend to objections such as this in the most curmudgeonly way possible as I go through this thread. And NYE is simply not a secular equivalent.
Read 20 tweets
Good morning, #WarOnChristmas freedom fighters! Today is December 10, meaning there are only 15 persecuting days left till Christmas.

Be evil by saying “Happy holidays!” today to one of those good Christians who just want the religious freedom to force the rest of us to be free
Fortunately for us, December 10 is already a special day of horror for America’s #GoodChristian™ folks—Human Rights Day.

Oh the humanity.

On this day in 1948, the United Nations General Assembly—future tool of the Antichrist—adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
This year, the wicked secularists at the UN have truly outdone themselves in persecuting the #GoodChristian™ population of the United States.

O godless liberals, the theme of this year’s Human Rights Day is Youth Standing up for Human Rights! Please join me in maniacal laughter
Read 10 tweets
1. Gather round, people of Twitter! It's time for How the #MartyredMajority Lives!

Returning to the last episode's theme of #WhiteChristiansBeingPersecuted, today's episode takes us to Hillsdale, Michigan.

(Credit to @NutMeg897 for the amazing hashtag #MartyredMajority!)
2. Now Hillsdale is home to a hardline conservative Christian "liberal arts" school called Hillsdale College. Incidentally, one of my high school friends from youth group went there. And guess who was invited to give this year's commencement address? Why, none other than @VP.
3. You can see Mike Pence's own thread relating his speech here:

In what follows, I am going to analyze (okay, mock) it blow-by-blow using screenshots. But first, a bit about Hillsdale College, where being persecuted is definitely #HowToEvangelical.
Read 24 tweets
1. FOX "News" is playing at white Christian persecution complex, so let's give #GoodChristian™ Douglas MacKinnon a little of the "persecution" he so craves. Because, believe me, calling out someone's #ChristianAltFacts is obvs equivalent to them being murdered for their faith.
2. Guess what? Your friend is either delusional, stupid, or dishonest. Unless you made up said "friend" like many of the "facts" in this article. Hey, I'm just asking questions. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#EmptyThePews #Exvangelical #HowToEvangelical #HowToCatholic #SaturdayMorning
3. Granted, Christians are persecuted in some parts of the wold, although your adjectives are not exactly quantifiable. But more to the point, you know where that's definitely not happening? In America. Hard to believe, I know.
Read 20 tweets

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