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In a swirl, the dragon grabbed their polymorph cloak, shrinking in size to an average humanoid. They did their best to avoid the glare of the wizard.
“That’s mine,” the wizard said.
“I don’t care,” the dragon, now more resembling a dragonborn, shot back.
“That’s mine,” the wizard said.
“I don’t care,” the dragon, now more resembling a dragonborn, shot back.
They reached for a small table and took a satchel of gold pieces.
“Don’t expect me to be here when you get back,” the wizard said.
“I just need to clear my head. I’ll be back later today,” they said, completing their collection task by grabbing another bag full of traveling… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
“Don’t expect me to be here when you get back,” the wizard said.
“I just need to clear my head. I’ll be back later today,” they said, completing their collection task by grabbing another bag full of traveling… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
“Not much of a talker. I wonder, is this what your parents wanted for you? Well, not the ‘dead on an ash covered floor’ part, but the life of a city guard. It probably paid well. I bet they would have been thrilled. I can imagine your father and mother, so proud on the day you… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Orc: I wish to breed.
Bard: *sputter hack cough wheeze*
O: Are you injured? Has another witch cursed you?
B: No, I’m just… That’s abrupt, even for you.
O: I will not apologize for my desires.
B: Nor would I ask you too. Just uh… are you sure?
O: Absolutely.
#DnD
Bard: *sputter hack cough wheeze*
O: Are you injured? Has another witch cursed you?
B: No, I’m just… That’s abrupt, even for you.
O: I will not apologize for my desires.
B: Nor would I ask you too. Just uh… are you sure?
O: Absolutely.
#DnD
B: Ok… well… with who?
O: I wish you to sire my children. This is not obvious? Why would you ask me this question? Do you doubt my commitment to you?
B: No, I just wanted to hear you say it.
O: Devil. You know of my great affection for you.
O: I wish you to sire my children. This is not obvious? Why would you ask me this question? Do you doubt my commitment to you?
B: No, I just wanted to hear you say it.
O: Devil. You know of my great affection for you.
O: You have proven yourself to be a capable lover, more than able to complete the task. You have met my family and shown great humility and kindness towards them. I have seen your love first hand and, as a result, I wish to create and raise children with you.
Lich: Merry Christmas!
Cleric: Ah! How did you get in our house!
L: You left offerings for me.
Paladin: Evil thief! Those cookies were for Santa!
L: I know.
C: Wait...
P: No way...
L: Who else would live in a remote ice lair? Who else could deliver all these presents?
#DnD
Cleric: Ah! How did you get in our house!
L: You left offerings for me.
Paladin: Evil thief! Those cookies were for Santa!
L: I know.
C: Wait...
P: No way...
L: Who else would live in a remote ice lair? Who else could deliver all these presents?
#DnD
C: That's not true.
P: That's impossible!
L: Search your feelings, you know it to be true!
Rogue: Oh, hi Santa.
L: Hello there.
R: Got my Obsidian Dagger?
L: If by "Obsidian Dagger" you mean "Pile of Coal," then yes, I do.
C: Rogue, you knew!?
R: Oh, you still thought...
P: That's impossible!
L: Search your feelings, you know it to be true!
Rogue: Oh, hi Santa.
L: Hello there.
R: Got my Obsidian Dagger?
L: If by "Obsidian Dagger" you mean "Pile of Coal," then yes, I do.
C: Rogue, you knew!?
R: Oh, you still thought...
R: Sorry to break it to you like this but everyone has to learn the truth eventually, Santa is a lich.
P: How!? Doesn't a lich require evil energy!?
L: Typically yes, but I've been able to twist my magic to feed off holiday cheer, cookies, and milk.
C: Why deliver presents?
P: How!? Doesn't a lich require evil energy!?
L: Typically yes, but I've been able to twist my magic to feed off holiday cheer, cookies, and milk.
C: Why deliver presents?
The captain crunched down hard, pulverizing the last of his rations with what remained of his teeth. It wouldn’t be long before he and his crew began to starve. He imagined his boat drifting into port, toothless skeletons huddled together in bed. That would not do.
His saccharine meal churning through his guts, rampaging them with toxic sugar, he burst onto the deck. There were only a handful of them left now, a paltry crew. Those that died were tossed overboard, lest their meaty bodies tempt defilement. He could hear the crew’s stomachs.
The “food” had deadened his senses, quieted his desires, and now seemed to pull him, belly first, towards the orb. It was out here, hidden beneath the waves and it was their only hope. If they could reach it, they could feed off it or maybe bait animals with it.
