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Seriously, though, can we finally talk about how Lord of the Rings is one epic PR story covering up Middle Earth's secret drug wars?
It was all about the pipe weed, people. IT WAS ALL ALWAYS ABOUT THE PIPE WEED. And do you know who's at the center? The fucking Hobbits.
Here it is, straight-up: The Hobbit economy makes no fucking sense unless Hobbits are running a secret drug empire spanning Middle Earth.
