Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #davepoll

Most recents (8)

I guess that's one way to get invited back on TV
Embargo over, resume the 24/7 studio interviews for the next 2 years
if he's lost Garrison, who tf is still in his bunker
Read 4 tweets
This is a terrible thing to say about her. Well okay, true, but still terrible
The only things that could possibly survive a 200 megaton nuclear truth bomb like that are cockroaches and Taylor Lorenz
We really need to start a How TF Does This Person Remain Employed Hall of Fame
Read 5 tweets
Damn, this week keep getting better and better
It's The Real ThingĀ®
New #DavePoll: should Coca-Cola bring back cocaine?
Read 4 tweets
Happy Presidents Day
Happy Presidents Day
Happy Presidents Day
Read 5 tweets
This just in: evidence-free weightlifting brags go back 3000 years before the internet
On the other side of the rock it says "LOL weaksauce Bybon son of Phola / I Testicles of Pita can lift three of such stones and 10 reps"
History is clear: if you think men exaggerate their wang size, you should see how they exaggerate their bench press
Read 4 tweets
I don't care about any of these people, but if you can make 7 figures from 10,000 subscribers on Substack I am fucking out of this dump
I'm optimistic enough to believe I can con 5% of you idiots into tithing for my word garbage
*use coupon code DAVENEEDSAGULFSTREAMG650
Read 12 tweets
New #DavePoll: lawsuits, what's your experience?
*can't vote in my own poll, but put me down as "neither"
**every couple of years I get a notice informing me I am qualified for a $0.47 check from some rando class action suit, but I've never cashed one
Read 5 tweets
Stop trying to make "Fleets" happen
Twitter should just accept the fact that Instagram and TikTok are where people go to share joyous visual self expression, and Twitter is for malignant assholes to scream lunatic conspiracy theories
YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok is where nobodies go to become millionaires, Twitter is where millionaires go to become nobodies
Read 8 tweets

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