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And as it's the Feast Day of the Holy Innocents, celebrating Toughness on Crime, Lorranawdah & Zero Tolerance for Minglin' among the Judean Under-Fives from Jolly Old King Herod, it's time to announce the results of the #DrawPritiPatel CHALLENGE!!!
And first off apologies for the delay in announcing this. As you know, negotiations between the judges went right up to the wire, & the amount of swarfega we'll need to get the blood off that ceiling is nobody's business. Worse, the hand-slashed fish head bearing the results...
...was sat in the back of a refrigerated hearse in a layby outside Ashford while Matt Hancock rang round his mates to find someone to award the contract chaffeuring contract, £300m in used fivers no questions arsked got me? And then, of course, ripped to his tits on babycham &...
