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There was a time when I concluded that things would never change; that I’d always be poor, relegated, defeated.
This conclusion seemed final, and because I was not going to live with it, I was just waiting until the right time to quietly and comfortably end it all.
It wasn’t even a depressive thought, but just a calm rational acceptance that this was the verdict on things as they related to my life and reality.
My logic was clear, it seemed, and my mind was set.
I carried on normally, and did the things I was supposed to do. But I had this silent smile, almost as if I was out of my own body, looking down on the rest of the world, seeing them hustling like rats and just smirking and going through the motions.
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