Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #joke

Most recents (13)

In its halcyon days, "Vmyths" provided resources the #antivirus industry couldn't muster

In this thread each Wednesday, we shall peruse the Wayback Machine to enjoy #JOKE virus alerts (NOT hoaxes) that amused us from the 1990s through 2005...
JOKE VIRUS ALERT (not a hoax)

"NSA printer virus (April Fool story)" (aka "Iraqi printer virus")…

And see the follow-up!…
JOKE VIRUS ALERT (not a hoax)

"JPEG virus alert" (aka "GIF virus alert" aka "Graphic file virus")…
Read 3 tweets
2/djt Any damage due to "erosion of post-war alliance network" could be outweighed by the development of a "post-pandemic alliance against China's Communist dictatorship & its asymmetric economic policies & military aggression," (NO tariffs on member cntrys 🙏🏼)
3/djt an #EU that cannot defend itself against a perceived threat from #Russia (<1/15 its ec size) and a #NATO alliance in which member countries buy major weapons systems from the country(Russia) it's supposed to defend against, is a #farce or #joke🤡. Replace with EU alliance.
Read 4 tweets
To share what you wish you would have known years ago is to handover the chain of tokens, to the people, willing to unlock a better tomorrow. #giveback #NerdZen #TokensToZen #TheNerdsJourney
TokenToZen  #1:
Be Homo Ludens. Play is research. Innovation never stops playing. Put yourself in the players’ shoes. Our world needs true game changers. Be part of the action! #PlayYourDay #Gamification #SimonSinek #InfiniteGames #NerdZen #TokensToZen
TokenToZen #2:
If you ever got to choose what you will loose: Your Eyes or your Ears: How will you decide? A life without sight or a silent one? Choose wisely. Want a hint? Silence is consent? #DecisionMaking #MeaningfulConnections #NerdZen #TokensToZen
Read 52 tweets
Only in India, boosting exports is accomplished by placing a quota on the quantity you're allowed to export and issuing licences to select number of firms, thereby creating rent seeking opportunities. License Raj redux.
Modi government keeps reinventing definitions of everything.Rising number of COVID19 infections means you've defeated COVID19, boosting exports on a product where you claim to be a global manufacturing hub by placing export quotas and issuing licenses to select firms.Makes sense
Remember you were told how India has taken over the world in PPE manufacturing and exports? Turns out they're so poorly manufactured, that even domestic demand has dropped considerably.Poor quality, doesn't meet basic health standards and unfit to use.…
Read 7 tweets
I started playing #guitar in college. Some of my friends back home played, so I thought I'd learn. It's been years since I kept up with it. With no job and an empty house, I had time. Plus, I could crank up my amp. Ava would have hated it. All the more reason to do it.
Strumming a few chords or playing a riff through a loud amp usually makes me feel better. It's more of a distraction this time. My amp is a little old. Even a #ragpicker might pass on it. "If you're not going to play it, sell it," Ava nagged. Life always got in the way.
Or I got in the way. Not even ten years ago I kept getting sick all the time. Painful stomach cramps would radiate weakness throughout my body. I learned how to wash it away like healing #rainwater. That's when I really started to figure out who I was and what I could do.
Read 530 tweets
$ETH/BTC Update

I tweet.. instant pump into resistance cause market makers are my homies
$ETH/BTC Update 2

I forgot how bullish a tweet by myself can be #joke #dontgetsalty
Read 6 tweets
I hear Birds. And it’s 7:18 am on [ 🦊 ] I’m not Q << no Comms > outside LOL 😂 yaw BUTT HURT over [ AS ] << so What. #IAMQ TOO. WE FAM STILL. NO DIVISION JUST BIENG HONEST. ARE WE NOT ALL A LITTLE Q.uestionable ! Lol. #WhenDoBirdsSing
Does 7:18 am = Qdrop 781. Going through the military q op. program. I was like am I under something or can I justbfake news. I mean you do see all the crumbs holding into 🍞 being dished out back 2the mass 2bconsumed the way it is. We know some1 was singing like a canary
When I was watching the news and I heard the birds chirp I looked at the clock and I was like my eyes are wide open. 🦅 song >>?? Who knows. But the dominoes are falling in the map is lining up. 🚢 🚢 🚢 Titanic events are occurring
Read 93 tweets
An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.
The 1st passenger said, 'I’m Jacob deGrom, the Cy Young winner, and my millions of fans need me. I can't afford to die.' So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.
The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, 'I'm President of the United States, the smartest President in American history, so my people don't want me to die.' He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10-year-old schoolboy, 'My son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.'
Read 4 tweets
WE THE ]#PEOPLE[ Have to Pick Up Where Our #Founders Left Off. Protect The #Nation Protect the #Family, [Protect the #Children] living in our Great #UnitedStates of #AMERICA..


This is for the like #minds, and everyday #thinkers who do right and care for the future of our nation. IF you just found out #WELCOME!! #America Needs you!, We need you!

We #communicate, post, #network and RESEARCH #RESEARCH @WhiteHouse
RESEARCH, #INFORM REPEAT...(and #joke poke & prodd #ideas/people minus the hate of course(sometimes) (we get it)). get the #word out!! If 💩 hits the fan! Just know WE r HERE& #TRUST we R #UNITED! Please #Guide and #Teach like mind who will add @NSAGov
Read 41 tweets
#sagitthread time : le menu du mois d’aout et c’est du sérieux

décapsule ⤵️⤵️
Apéro dinatoire : Tuxedo III 🍸🍸
Sorti le 19 Juillet 198euuuh… ce 3e volet des mecs en Tuxedo, Mayer Hawthorne et Jake One. Encore + chics, + élégants, ils ont bien décidé de nous en mettre plein la face avec leur funk eighties savoureuse, séduisante et MEGACLASSE
Sur leur plateau, il y a du chaud, du frais, du raffiné so smooth, des cocktails pour adultes, le charme des paillettes et du clinquant + d’intéressantes personnes comme Battlecat, Dam-Funk, Benny Sings et… MF Doom LOL (si si c’est vrai sur « Dreaming in the Daytime »)
Read 13 tweets
Beneath a pristine manor house sprawling #tunnels echo birth pains of Resistance. A nursemaid stands watch by the makeshift HQ station... now explosions rumble overhead. She knows little of their plans but this new blind servitude could pay higher dividends than the last. #vss365
Hank approaches Derringer Manor where #precious Betsy works. 1 more kiss before he ships out— she’ll see him in uniform.

Whistling screams overhead. Shattering impact. The house coughs fire, smoke, & people: cockroaches fleeing in all directions. But no Betsy.
#Satsplat #vss365
Lights flicker in the tunnel as the rumbling above is swallowed by a great crash. Officers scramble to collect documents & Betsy dives to the ground, gripping the silver locket swaying from her neck. An eternity of screams in the ceiling,then 1 voice nearby—her dear #boy.
Read 25 tweets

1} My Dear Friend Geri,

With all due respect to current #NonProfits serving Refugees & Immigrants - their Branding & Messaging are #Tragically #Weak.

#OurAmericanKids🇺🇸 are BEING #SCAPEGOATED & #WE, the Liberals of #OurCountry we call the United States of America...
2} ...get OUR #Truthful-#Propaganda #LUNCH handed to us - #EVERY #DAMNED #TIME there's a watershed political issue.

My opinion as a 25-year #Duke MBA-trained-#Strategist, is that "Dreamers" is a well-intentioned, but desperately INEFFECTIVE MONIKER for #OurAmericanKids. Scapegoats for American Fascists
3} My dog #Sadie is a very #Active #Dreamer. Hitler #Dreamed about ruling an #AryanPlanet.

Un-@realDonaldTrump dreams of building a wall "SO fucking HIGH," that planes can't #LAND in #Texas without traveling 100-miles North of our Southern Border - just to pull a #giant U-ey✈️ Hitler Dreamed of an Aryan Planet-Earth.U-Turn in the sky
Read 22 tweets
Reza Zarrab watchers: We're less than an hour away from Day 2 of testimony. On Weds., we heard of a "45 to 50 million" bribe to Turkey's economic minister and "a few billion" in complex bank transactions. Day 1 recap here, & some thoughts/updates to follow…
* ex-economic minister - I ran out of room in the tweet for additional context, even with 280 characters. Lots of revelations.
This appeared on the docket yesterday: Halkbank manager Mehmet Atilla's attorneys "object vigorously" to a future expert witness's testimony on the rationale of U.S. sanctions against Iran - replete with references to terrorism…
Read 113 tweets

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