Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #joke

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#sagitthread time : le menu du mois d’aout et c’est du sérieux

décapsule ⤵️⤵️
Apéro dinatoire : Tuxedo III 🍸🍸
Sorti le 19 Juillet 198euuuh… ce 3e volet des mecs en Tuxedo, Mayer Hawthorne et Jake One. Encore + chics, + élégants, ils ont bien décidé de nous en mettre plein la face avec leur funk eighties savoureuse, séduisante et MEGACLASSE
Sur leur plateau, il y a du chaud, du frais, du raffiné so smooth, des cocktails pour adultes, le charme des paillettes et du clinquant + d’intéressantes personnes comme Battlecat, Dam-Funk, Benny Sings et… MF Doom LOL (si si c’est vrai sur « Dreaming in the Daytime »)
Read 13 tweets
Beneath a pristine manor house sprawling #tunnels echo birth pains of Resistance. A nursemaid stands watch by the makeshift HQ station... now explosions rumble overhead. She knows little of their plans but this new blind servitude could pay higher dividends than the last. #vss365
Hank approaches Derringer Manor where #precious Betsy works. 1 more kiss before he ships out— she’ll see him in uniform.

Whistling screams overhead. Shattering impact. The house coughs fire, smoke, & people: cockroaches fleeing in all directions. But no Betsy.
#Satsplat #vss365
Lights flicker in the tunnel as the rumbling above is swallowed by a great crash. Officers scramble to collect documents & Betsy dives to the ground, gripping the silver locket swaying from her neck. An eternity of screams in the ceiling,then 1 voice nearby—her dear #boy.
#vss365
Read 25 tweets
This cannot get any better.
Grijalva "wrote" an op-ed slamming Zinke, saying he should resign.
Zinke fires back...and Grijalva is at THE BAR Zinke refers to...and leaves.
But wait, there's more...
Scroll to nearly the end of that article and you'll find this gem:

He cancelled an interview with CSPAN at 12:30p today for "health reasons"..........🥳 ::hic::
Sure, as in "here's to your health, another round!"
Zinke's response to RG's op-ed that made him "flee the bar" today around noon. #priceless
Read 5 tweets
#THREAD

1} My Dear Friend Geri,

With all due respect to current #NonProfits serving Refugees & Immigrants - their Branding & Messaging are #Tragically #Weak.

#OurAmericanKids🇺🇸 are BEING #SCAPEGOATED & #WE, the Liberals of #OurCountry we call the United States of America...
2} ...get OUR #Truthful-#Propaganda #LUNCH handed to us - #EVERY #DAMNED #TIME there's a watershed political issue.

My opinion as a 25-year #Duke MBA-trained-#Strategist, is that "Dreamers" is a well-intentioned, but desperately INEFFECTIVE MONIKER for #OurAmericanKids. Scapegoats for American Fascists
3} My dog #Sadie is a very #Active #Dreamer. Hitler #Dreamed about ruling an #AryanPlanet.

Un-@realDonaldTrump dreams of building a wall "SO fucking HIGH," that planes can't #LAND in #Texas without traveling 100-miles North of our Southern Border - just to pull a #giant U-ey✈️ Hitler Dreamed of an Aryan Planet-Earth.U-Turn in the sky
Read 22 tweets
Reza Zarrab watchers: We're less than an hour away from Day 2 of testimony. On Weds., we heard of a "45 to 50 million" bribe to Turkey's economic minister and "a few billion" in complex bank transactions. Day 1 recap here, & some thoughts/updates to follow courthousenews.com/turkish-gold-t…
* ex-economic minister - I ran out of room in the tweet for additional context, even with 280 characters. Lots of revelations.
This appeared on the docket yesterday: Halkbank manager Mehmet Atilla's attorneys "object vigorously" to a future expert witness's testimony on the rationale of U.S. sanctions against Iran - replete with references to terrorism documentcloud.org/documents/4315…
Read 113 tweets

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