Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #puns
Most recents (5)
I took my contacts out BEFORE I found me a couple episodes of #babydaddymaury and kept up ended up on #liedetectormaury which is NOT my preference...
So now I'm listening to #Cheaters... 😶
So now I'm listening to #Cheaters... 😶
Buddy Ass said, "why you tryna come over on a week day; you usually come over on the weekend... why you tryna change up?" as he taking some girl out to dinner while telling his gf he at home.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
*they been together 5 years
*his gf just hauled off on the side chick
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
*they been together 5 years
*his gf just hauled off on the side chick
When you want your dude but yo dude don't want you...
😬😬😬
Mfs be having all the clues...
And still be acting clueless.
The thrill is GONE, my baby.
Let it go... ELSA!!!
😬😬😬
Mfs be having all the clues...
And still be acting clueless.
The thrill is GONE, my baby.
Let it go... ELSA!!!
We need some inspiration. Join us to celebrate people fighting for our planet w/#30EarthMonthHeroes. The rules: 1⃣Tag a person who does great things to protect the environment 2⃣tag+thread another the next day 3⃣Repeat thru April. Explainer via @TaotaoTasi southernfriedscience.com/30-earth-month…
And just for fun, here is our 2019 list: #30EarthMonthHeroes
1) One of our #30EarthMonthHeroes is our previous president @brooke2cents. Beyond the leadership she provided us, Brooke trains conservationists on how to design outreach plans that motivate action. Check out her work on sustainable fishing in Mongolia: brooketully.com/making-sustain…
It’s #Monday, I’m boozing it up at a 4 seat bar, the #barkeep is a long pourer, and I’m all fucking set if I get something stuck between my teeth.👇🙃 #RandomThoughts #drinking #OutAndAbout 
Shooting the shit with a friend, she’s proud to be doing well with her plants - unusual for her.
The key was a #video explaining the benefits of pruning.
She needs REASONS. She got them.
Apparently, pruning in a particular manner stimulates growth hormones.
#RandomThoughts
The key was a #video explaining the benefits of pruning.
She needs REASONS. She got them.
Apparently, pruning in a particular manner stimulates growth hormones.
#RandomThoughts
Of course, this led to me initiating a discussion about the #movie I just watched on Hulu, called “The German Doctor.”
The main character was Josef Mengele. #ThisHappened
People, this is why I’m known in my circles as “The Black Hole Of Conversation.” SMTH
#RandomThoughts
The main character was Josef Mengele. #ThisHappened
People, this is why I’m known in my circles as “The Black Hole Of Conversation.” SMTH
#RandomThoughts
#nebrasummit opens with reminding we are a region of 156 clubs, 2300 license holders, 139 events
SoTU: road rider days, 11,766, down 7%, for 41 events, down from one YoY
cx rider days, 11498, down 22% for 31 events, down from five YoY
cx rider days, 11498, down 22% for 31 events, down from five YoY
#hotlinetake : KMC is looking at Hartford for '19
Hey @Walmart, I have a story for you. Tonight I visited store 908 in Orlando. I was on my phone reading my shopping list when an employee approached me. He was a young man between 18 and 25 I’d guess. In a very high-pitched, falsetto, Mickey Mouse-like voice, he said,
“Can I help you find anything?” Now, my first thought was “Oh my, what an unfortunate thing it is, to go through life as an adult male with that voice.” But, I shrugged it off and thanked him saying I was good. Since I was near the toy aisle, he then asked if I was shopping for
toys for anyone. I said I was just going through my shopping list making sure I had everything. And then, to quote Will Smith as The Fresh Prince, “...my life got flipped, turned upside down.” Bryan then looked at me and said “Ok, thank you for shopping at Walmart!”
