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Why I dislike like the term “church hurt”:
Making pain more palatable does nothing to heal it.
And I believe you are worthy of more healing than half-truths can give. Hear me out:
Making pain more palatable does nothing to heal it.
And I believe you are worthy of more healing than half-truths can give. Hear me out:
When you use the term “church hurt,” I know you aren’t trying to be dishonest. You are trying to be acknowledged without losing your acceptance.
We give our pain from other Christians a nicer-sounding name because we fear that being fully honest—including with ourselves—will cut us off from belonging.
#FaithOverFear is a narrative that bypasses the truth that God gave you a good body with good emotions that exist for good reasons. It also overlooks the context in which the command “do not fear” is given in Scripture:
“Do not fear” is most often uttered in Scripture as an imperative statement—but one of comfort, not chastisement. When we detach this command from the context of God’s comfort, we make Scripture into a sword to cut off the very parts of ourselves that most need God’s friendship.
“Do not fear” is a refrain that is repeated over and over to people about to embark on risky endeavors who will endure uncertainty, possible judgment, and danger, predicated on the promise that God will go with them.
After spiritual abuse, my mind wanted to be in church again.
But my body screamed that she didn't feel safe there.
But my body screamed that she didn't feel safe there.
As a disabled woman, I already knew that healing is not a matter of trying harder to believe.
As a trauma-informed therapist, I recognized that being inside the church was pushing my body and her safety right out the door.
As a trauma-informed therapist, I recognized that being inside the church was pushing my body and her safety right out the door.
So, for the first time in my life, I stopped going to church to give my mind + body a chance to become friends with God again.
Today, with whatever confusion + pain you feel around church, I hope you’ll give yourself space to explore a faith that doesn’t leave your body behind.
Today, with whatever confusion + pain you feel around church, I hope you’ll give yourself space to explore a faith that doesn’t leave your body behind.
I’ve heard Psalm 23 my entire life. Yet no one ever taught me the feminine aspect of God in David’s prayer.
As theologian Kenneth Bailey says, “You prepare a table before me” is a clear depiction of a male engaging in activities that in David's culture only a female would do.
As theologian Kenneth Bailey says, “You prepare a table before me” is a clear depiction of a male engaging in activities that in David's culture only a female would do.
I wonder
what comfort
we cut ourselves off from
by putting God in a box
marked male.
—from #TheLordIsMyCourage
what comfort
we cut ourselves off from
by putting God in a box
marked male.
—from #TheLordIsMyCourage
This weekend, whether you are a mother or not, I pray you'll let yourself be mothered by the God who is preparing a table for you, whose Goodness and Love are searching for the lost parts of you even this moment, who cannot wait to welcome you home.
I so want you to know that the parts of yourself that you most hate and blame and hide are the parts that hold great wisdom and the possibility of joy.
Sensitivity is a gift to steward.
But for many years I would have called mine a curse.
In my new book, I decided to share some of my story of shifting from cursing my stress to blessing my sensitivity. Along the way, I realized just how many of us feel like we are too much.
But for many years I would have called mine a curse.
In my new book, I decided to share some of my story of shifting from cursing my stress to blessing my sensitivity. Along the way, I realized just how many of us feel like we are too much.
When my therapist named that I am a highly sensitive person, "she saw the one part of myself it seemed that everyone—including myself—had labeled as too broken. And she blessed it instead….The part of me that had been most shamed + silenced was the part of me that was wisest.”
