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A Muslim’s Guide to Psychology

Many Muslims don’t know how to balance the religious rulings pertaining to parents with the negative consequences on their mental and emotional health in EIP situations. As a religious scholar, I recieve several inquiries about this.
Instead of explaining the religious command in context, many engage the topic with #religious_rhetoric. Beyond the psychological element of parenting, it’s imperative for Muslims to understand the spiritual fallout of being raised by EIPs.
As spiritual development begins in the pre-rational phase, children internalize attitudes toward God through parents. Formative biological bonds leave a spiritual imprint on children, creating base fitri-faith associations that will affect spiritual capacity far into adulthood.
Read 25 tweets


Someone asked if I teach my kids Ash’ari/Maturidi creed.

1 Difference between these two creedal schools is on minute matters, not for public (or child) discussion

2 I’ve studied both, memorized didactic poems for both. In the مسائل خلافية I most often lean toward Maturidi.
3 That being said, however, while I have more ‘aqli resonance with the Maturidi Imams, I often feel more rawhani resonance with the Ash’ari Imam

They were all geniuses. Allah’s mercy be upon them all.

اللهم صلّ وسلّم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وآله
The point for #parents was that children’s initial faith impressions aren’t built on rationality, but on spiritual attitudes imparted through parental behavior.

Ex. my positive reaction to my children’s apologies would reinforce that God loves to accept His servant’s repentance
Read 6 tweets


Master Murabbi

Of the main indicators of a good #parent is minimal use of anger.

In our home, I use anger less than 1% of the time with my children.

Consequently, I can very calmly say one word, “overstep” and my children immediately take heed. Without request, they’ll…
… instinctively come, of their own accord, and apologize. These are some of my favorite mommy teaching moments. I respond by smiling, embracing & kissing them, then thanking. It’s so key for parents to keep discipline positive, not punitive (unless absolutely necessary)…
This is more critical in Muslim minority populations where Islam is restrictedly manifest in home & mosque. Early attitudes toward God & Religion develop from the parental persona. The divine trust of parenting entails mercy & guardianship. Children can’t process rational creed…
Read 8 tweets


The False Qadi

For the entirety of my life, until now, I —

a. gave consideration to every advice I was ever given

b. never advised anyone else unless they asked for it (or I was obligated to do so), and

c. never once made a judgement on anyone.

Now, I know…
Now, I know —

a. which advice is false,
b. how to judge *ideas and actions*
c. and most importantly, I know m y s e l f.

Don’t give advice unless you’re asked.
Don’t reject (sincere) advice unless you consider it.
Don’t concern yourself with others unless you’re their guardian.
The Divine Judge is the One Who matters.

He knows everything.

He never wrongs anyone.

He never makes a mistake.

Allah’s infinite peace & blessings be upon Rasūlullāh, his pure progeny & folk, gleaming companions, illuminated inheritors & all loyal followers until the Last Day
Read 11 tweets


Getting to know a prospective spouse.

I promised this brother that his #dm is next. I devote a whole section to this in my #UpcomingBook from a fiqhi and social perspective, so I can only give a limited response here. I commend the brother for asking a female scholar…. Image
1 Of the subtitles in the book is “Men need a wali too” Think of the wali as the gatekeeper of your heart, your intellect, your executive functioning. For the mentally healthy, this component discerns benefit and harm. For adherent Muslims, this component thinks in terms of fiqh.
2 Don’t open the gate of your heart to just anyone. A prospect must pass your ‘wali-test’ first. In our times, marriage has become complicated. Additionally, abstinent Muslims have little to no relationship learning, putting them at great disadvantage in evaluating a prospect.
Read 9 tweets


“We’re seeing reversal of the spheres of the spiritual & sensual. The spirit is vast & free, soaring. The sensual is bound & restricted…”

Now, vastness is attributed to the sensual while restriction is attributed to the spiritual, of detriment to both faith & fitra…
“Why has digital entertainment seduced the world? Why have some of the most sublime meanings taken the lewdest of forms? Might it be because the human instinct to find meaning - one that can only be fulfilled through the Divine - grows evermore distant, a figment of imagination?
When realities are reversed, we must it #flip_it by reclaiming the Reality.

Find the #meaning in yourself, in all things the meaning will find you.

What bold devils dare steal, brave angels repeal.

What do the words below mean to you?

#think_bigger
Read 7 tweets

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